I need TAX advice... son keeps ignoring his taxes!! Argh!

[Breeze54]

I've told him, over and over, that he HAS to call the IRS and make a payment arrangement and that he MUST take the time to get the forms to file his state taxes and that he can be arrested if he doesn't and he just keeps blowing it off. I'm worried. He works full time all day and then has a second job at night and I helped him e-file his FED. Taxes but he hasn't done the state or asked for an extension yet and I'm really worried and today he came home talking about buying a brand new car, a Kia... :argh: What can I say to put the fear of DOOM in him?! Any suggestions? I can't seem to get through to him about the gravity of him putting this off!!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Breeze54...

Ah, I think it's time for some tough love...

Let him find out the hard way...

He's an adult...

You can't keep doing this...

He needs to grow up, and that means you step back and let him...

Sorry...

I know it's hard to do...

:hug:

[Breeze54]

5. Easier said then done. Ugh!

We can't afford for him to be arrested. Would they do that? :shrug:

I know he's an adult, chronologically, but he's not 'mature' yet.

He's all happy about the tips and extra money he's making at night

but doesn't see the problem looming ahead and the problems that will

ensue if he keeps putting this off and I told him to get a new W4 from

his job (that's the reason he has to pay), as they didn't have him update

his W4 when he turned 18, and so they didn't take out ANY taxes all last

year and he's blown that off too!! :grr: He has ADD and 'forgets' everything!

[skygazer]

2. How old is your son?

If he's a legal adult and you've told him over and over, I'd say it's about time to just let him dig his own holes. I realize that's tough to do but you do kids no favors when you let them believe that they don't have to think about things because you'll be there to do it for them.

I have an ex-brother-in-law who, at the age of 47, still lives with his mother who still wakes him up to go to work every day. I used to think of him every time I felt the urge to overly guide my kids.

[Breeze54]

6. He's 19 but qualifies as 'disabled', due to ADD.

That's what keeps me trying to remind him.
ADD is notorious for 'forgetting' important things.

I'm just really worried.

[skygazer]

9. Well, they're not going to arrest him

They will tack penalties on him though which just adds to his troubles.

ADD or not, he has to learn to find ways to deal with things that need to be dealt with. As someone who has been variably diagnosed as bipolar, depressive, suffering anxiety disorder and PTSD, I understand the problems of finding your own tools to help you cope in the world. Having his mom remind him is not a viable tool for life.

Maybe what you need to do is discuss that issue in conjunction with the tax issue. But ultimately, whether he has ADD or not, he needs to learn how to negotiate life.

[Breeze54]

10. Well; you're right and he has taken steps towards independence on his own; like

opening his own checking acct. and getting a ATM/Credit card and I had nothing to do with that. He did that by himself and he pays his cellphone bill and his car insurance on time, all by himself and I didn't do either of those for him or help him with that either. But he just doesn't seem to be grasping the whole paying taxes thing. I've never let him use me as a crutch and I backed off his high school obligations when he was in 11th grade and consequences be damned, were his problem but this is another "new" thing for him... paying taxes. I tried to help him and got him started when he filed the Fed. taxes on line and made him do it himself, but he just didn't understand the questions. Ugh. I don't want you to think I coddle him because I don't. I've let him sit and spin plenty of times. ;) I just don't want to deal with the consequences or rather, his reaction to the consequences!

[truedelphi]

15. I agree. But as his mom you should point out that possibly they might

Seize any bank accounts he has opened. And eventually they will garnish his wages, etc

[Breeze54]

16. he just got home and left again but I managed to tell him just that and he

paused in his tracks and I added that he would NOT be approved to buy a new car on credit if he owed the IRS!

He sighed laudably and left... :evilgrin:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. You warned him. Now the only thing you can do is let what will happen, happen.

He's not likely to be arrested, but chances are, when they catch up with him there will be some stiff penalties. But you warned him, so don't let it be your problem. He's a grownup and responsible for his own taxes, so let it be his problem now.

[Breeze54]

8. You're right ....

It's just a real worry for me.

I might have his older brother call him.

He seems to listen to him.

[Adsos Letter]

4. Well...you might suggest he consider my experience...

I "toyed" with the IRS at a point about 30 years ago. End result? A tax bill of something less than $400 morphed into a fianl assessment of about $10,000...and I, my lovely wife, and my 2 year old daughter ended up living in a room at my in-laws house for almost a year while we paid it off...financial thunderclap combined with extreme personal humiliation...nice.

[Breeze54]

7. Thanks... I'll have him read your reply when he gets home.

Thanks! :(

Sorry that happened to you.

[Zuiderelle]

11. They won't arrest him, but they WILL garnish his wages. And they will penalize him.

[Breeze54]

12. Thanks... I'll have him read your response, as well.

He needs to understand this is REAL LIFE!! You know?

Thanks.

[Whoa_Nelly]

13. Yes, he has ADD, but the longer you keep trying to keep things together for him

the longer it will be before he has an experience that will help him remember his responsibilities.

If he can think about buying a new car, he can take the consequences of not taking care of priorities first.

Have taught many ADD kids...they can learn to remember and make choices.

:hug:

[Breeze54]

14. I know and I've made him 'accept' the responsibility & consequences before but this is a biggie...

And when he was talking about buying the new car, I asked how he was going to pay for that
while paying the IRS fines and he got miffed and said I just didn't understand and left to
his other job. :P Maybe he'll think that over tonight while at work. ;) I planted the seed.

[Biscottiii]

17. What's the chance of his Big Brother bringing over TurboTax software?

and saying "I've been wanting to try this out? Let's play and see if it works, to see if I can use it for MYSELF." Works for more than one person.

You said "I might have his older brother call him."

The basic Turbo is $19.95 plus they have some sort of State Tax download (probably costs, we don't have state income tax in my state so I've never used it). TT does get into some confusing/snarly stuff with points where it says "generally not recommended". But it's pretty straight forward. Gives forms for extentions, all sorts of stuff. Saves the info for the next year's filing so you don't have to reenter the data.

I did taxes once for a mentally challenged roommate via TT. He said he had paid about $125 the previous year for having 3-4 W-2 forms, no deductions, with some tax outfit. What a ripoff!! We could have done an EZ form in 10 minutes for nothing. He was so happy, not only to be legitimate but also for the Earned Income Tax Credit TurboTax popped out for him.

Good Luck! Those tax folks don't care, they just add on the penalties.

[Coyote_Bandit]

18. The tax folks

can come in and seize assets to satisfy tax obligations. For your own protection be sure your son is not named as a co-owner on any of your assets. And be sure he does not have signature authority on any of your financial accounts.

I know someone who lost everything to the IRS - and then spent several years living on an IRS determined budget while his wages were gharnished.