Am I a nice enough person to date a pastor?

[MissMillie]

Someone is showing interest.

He seems nice enough, though honestly w/ my trust issues, it may take some time for me to let him in even a little....

but what about me?

I'm not terribly religious, but I do believe in God and I do believe that nothing good ever came from doing anyone else harm....

Is it even possible that I could be this guy's "type"?

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Not the right question.

Is he nice enough to date you?

:hug:

[dolo amber]

2. ...

:thumbsup:

[MissMillie]

3. Dunno yet

I guess I'm hoping for him to be a bit stereotypical for a pastor... a slow-mover maybe. And it'd be great if he lived by that whole "do unto others" thing.

[Deep13]

6. bingo

[raccoon]

8. I second that emotion. nt

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

15. My thoughts exactly!

[KSinTX]

30. What Midlo said (nt)

[Lydia Leftcoast]

4. What denomination?

:-)

[MissMillie]

9. dunno yet

he hasn't told me he's a pastor. Someone else did.

only talked to him for a little while. We have a few things in common. We danced for a while.

He asked me if I'd be back to the dance again next month.

I suppose if he were really interested, he'd have asked for my number.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

22. Hmm, that could make a difference

If he's a Catholic priest, you're out of luck. :evilgrin:

But if he's from a liberal Protestant denomination, he's probably okay.

If he says he belongs to a "nondenominational" church, though, that often means "free-lance fundamentalist," so be careful.

[IronLionZion]

24. nondenominational can mean anything

and some are very liberal. easy on that broad brush Lydia. :hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. yes you are nice enough to date a pastor

[fizzgig]

7. yes, you are

[khashka]

10. Of course you are!

A sweet wonderful woman, any man should be so lucky.

Is he your pastor? If so he's really putting himself out there and making himself vulnerable. So he really likes you.

And what cost is one date?

Khash.

[MissMillie]

11. he's not

I don't, at present, attend services.

He doesn't really know me yet, but I think he wants to learn more.

[bertha katzenengel]

12. The question is, Is he a good enough man to date YOU?

Go with your heart. :hug:

[IronLionZion]

13. Um, what does being a pastor have to do with it?

Try letting go of any stereotypes and consider what sort of person he is. Like others have said, is he nice enough for YOU? If you are interested, try asking him out for coffee and a good conversation. See where it goes from there.

I'm religious and my girlfriend is not but it is still working out. She just finds something else to occupy her time when I go to church. She came with me once, on palm sunday, and got bored. There are plenty of other things we have in common. There are plenty of couples of the same religion who have absolutely NOTHING in common.

[MissMillie]

19. not to totally jump the gun

but at my age, when I think of seeing someone, I think about the end result, which I would hope would be marriage.

Now, I don't know this guy well enough to know if I want to marry him, but I wonder if I'm the type he could look at and imagine me as a pastor's wife.

When someone shows interest, if I can't think of them (at all) as a possible husband, I'm not putting in the time or effort.

So, I just wondered if people thought I had any of the qualifications that would make for a good "pastor's wife". I don't, for the life of me, know what he's thinking, so I figured I'd ask you all what you think.

And while I'm not really very religious, I do think of myself as quite spiritual.

[IronLionZion]

20. Millie, you are still defining this man by his job. If you don't know someone

well you might want to get to know him and then decide.

I don't know what makes a good "pastor's wife" but I like to think I might know what makes a good wife (or husband): love, respect, chemistry, compatible personalities and interests, cute face slim waist and big...OK so what was I saying? :evilgrin:

Come on Millie, what do YOU look for in a potential husband? Thinking about what YOU might want is not selfish. It's OK to think about what might make you happy.

[MissMillie]

21. Oh, trust me, I'm thinking about it

And yeah, love, respect, chemistry, compatibility, all fit in there.

Warm. Not just to me, but over all.

I'm not too worried about what I want. I'm more worried about whether I can open up enough to give someone a chance to give it to me.

But that's not what this is about.

Somehow when I think of clergy, I don't think of it as just a "job". I guess I've always considered it a kind of "calling".

And while I can see myself being with someone who has that kind of a "calling," I just wondered if anyone thought I was the kind of woman a person with a "calling" might want to be with.

That's all.

[IronLionZion]

23. I think you are a wonderful person Millie,

so any man would be lucky to have you. I'm sure a pastor would think of you the same way. Wish you all the best with whatever you decide! :pals:

[underpants]

14. Question is-what do you say during sex?

Oh ______

:shrug:

[MissMillie]

17. I don't remember

:shrug:

[Beer Snob-50]

16. from what i have read from you here...

you are nice enough and he would thank whatever god he worships for the chance to date you.

[lizziegrace]

18. I couldn't have said it better

:hug: Millie. You are good enough. The question is, is he??

[noel711]

25. BAck away from the pastor...

YOu don't need to be a super religious person to appeal,

but take care of yourself... and look elsewhere..

When You're married to a pastor, you will always be Number 2.

I know, I'm married to a pastor, who is a nice person,
and nice looking but I am Number 2, and will always be Number 2.
Our daughter is Number 3, and that has hurt her all her life.

I'm a pastor too, so I live that life too... Except, to me, my church is Number 2.

But maybe he's the exception....

No, I doubt it.

[noel711]

26. I'm sorry, honey... please don't take offense..

I've been drinking wine, and my issues are coming out.

Please.. follow your heart, and don't pay any attention to the little
man behind the curtain...

enjoy, love comes when it comes....

[MissMillie]

32. I didn't

and I hope you're ok

:hug:

[RetroLounge]

27. Pastors don't WANT to date nice...

:hide:

RL

[Shine]

28. I echo what many others have pointed out: Is he nice enough for YOU?

My further two cents: I don't think you necessarily have to consider every man you go out with as a potential marriage partner. That puts waaaaay too much pressure on both of you, imo. Just go out and have fun, enjoy spending time with a man on a date. It seemed you were implying that it's hard for you to consider "wasting your time" if the guy isn't long-term potential in one of your earlier posts, upthread. I think it's good experience for a woman in your position to consider casual dating as good practice. You don't have to have all that stuff figured out in the first few dates!

Enjoy. Have fun. Lighten up.

That's what I say. :thumbsup: :D

[MissMillie]

29. no, hon, I differentiate

"dating" and "seeing"

having a date is one thing, but seeing someone regularly is quite different.

I don't "see" someone unless I think there's potential there.

I am looking for a life partner. And while a date is perfectly ok with just about anyone, I'm not investing time and energy into "seeing" someone that doesn't fit the bill right out of the gate.

[Redbear]

31. Yes.

You would be the type of any guy who likes kind, intelligent, funny women.

[tigereye]

33. I haven't met you, but you seem like you are!

:)