Ask Newsman Matt Drudge

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

Attention Liberals,

I'm here today to answer any and all questions you might have about me, and my reputation for reporting that is shoddy at best, conservatives in general, Unkie Dick and Big Cousin Karl, or anything else that you'd like to know about me or the American political landscape.

I look forward to this discourse.

Invitingly,
Matt

[RobertSeattle]

1. Have you ever had sex with Ann Coulter?

You seem like such pals...

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

5. Ann likes for me to refer to her as my "good friend"

If I don't, I can count on some bad bad times. She just does it because she loves me though. It's really unfortunate sometimes, that the laws of most states forbid us to express our love in a legal marriage.

Best Wishes,
Matt

[Womblestuffer]

108. well anne coulter is a man..............................................

man hands and a adams apple

[LuLu550]

2. why is

your left eye bigger than your right eye?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

10. From squinting

I squint a lot while I'm lying, and since virtually everything I say is a lie, I end up squinting A LOT!

Sincerely,
Matt

[spooky3]

3. what were your hands doing when this photo was taken?

typing?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

11. No, I was on the toilet

It was a rough visit.

Regards,
Matt

[Ladyhawk]

120. Is there a reason your toilet is in the middle of a room?

[gulfcoastliberal]

4. Did you ever sleep with Bill Bennett??

I hear he likes to get super-freaky...

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

9. I bet he doen't!

Anyone cover it?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

12. Yes, but it's not what you think

See, Bill has bunk beds, and there was this big sleepover a few months back. The whole gang was there and we stayed up ALL NIGHT! We were playing pranks and just having all kinds of good Christian fun.

Funny thing was, Rush peed himself and we didn't even do the hand in the warm water thing to him...

Love always,
Matt

[terrya]

6. So many questions, Newsman Matt.

I don't know where to start..

The only one I can think of is what is up with those conservatives and gay marriage? Why do they think two gay men or women are going to destroy Western Civilization by just getting married?

Thanks,
Terry, a gay and proud liberal.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

15. Let me make a confession to you.

The reason we are all so pent up on this, is because we are all secretly gay. We're obsessed with it, and as a means of repressing it, we feel the need to try to put all the gays down. See, if gay marriage were legal, I'd have to face up to the fact that my self-loathing was meaningless, and then what would I do?

If I can't be obsessed with the sex lives of others, I'd have to look inward and try to see who Newsman Matt Drudge really is. And I fear that the real Newsman Matt Drudge would make Carson Kressley seem like the straightest guy you've ever seen.

Hugs,
Matt

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

7. For a "Newsman" you seem to be wrong a lot, have you

considered becoming a weatherman? Or, maybe you should join the weathermen.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

17. Ha! Yeah I am wrong A LOT!

It's basically because I don't do any work ever. Even if I were a weather man, I'd have to like research stuff. I don't have the time for that. Luckily, as a member of the conservative press, I can just make shit up, say anything, and still sell a bunch of books and ads on my web site!

God Bless America!

Matt

[regularguy]

8. The Hat...um, you're being ironic, right? Right?

.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

19. Ironic?

Oh, like that song! It's like raaaaaain on your wedding day, it's a free ride when you're already there, it's the good advice that you just didn't take!

Wait, where was I?

Sincerely,
Matt

[bubblesby2002]

13. Um - I was just wondering -

if you could EVER get ANYTHING RIGHT?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

21. This one time

This one time I was right about this one thing. It was like true. I don't really remember what it was, and since I'm too lazy to research current stories, I'm WAY too lazy to research that.

Warm Regards,
Matt

[ET Awful]

14. Are you still mad at David Brock for not accepting your sexual advances?

hehehe.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

22. Yes

Can we please not talk about this? It's very hurtful, and I would never ever make someone talk about a difficult time in their past.

Sincerely,
Matt

[peekaloo]

16. Baseball related

Do you like to pitch or catch?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

23. I'm the tight end.

Best wishes,
Matt

[Blue-Jay]

18. Is that an "asshat" you're wearing?

It doesn't look quite like a regular fedora.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

24. Well, being that I'm an assface, I guess so!

XOXOXOX,
Matt

[PVnRT]

20. Would you say you're more of an assclown or just a jackass?

:shrug:

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

26. Hmmm. Now that's a tough one

I mean on one hand I'd fit anyone's definition of a jackass. That's a little bit of an older term though. I'm also very clearly and assclown and that's sort of a newer term.

However, given that I think I'm a modern day investigative report, that harkens back to the good old days of pulp journalism, I'll say that I'm a jackass.

Best Regards,
Matt

[Skittles]

25. You look like a real dork

are you a real dork?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

27. And how!

I'm not only a dork, but a geek, dweeb, putz, loser, nerd, jerk, ugly stupid butt face, bastard, hack and shill, and to top it off, I have no talent or skill at anything!

Thanks for noticing!

Best Wishes,
Matt

[TXlib]

51. Now hold on a minute...

Geeks and nerds would take offense at that...

We tend to be a smart, well-educated, successful lot.

[Skittles]

62. I am pro-nerd and pro-geek

but a dork is a dork is a dork. Just watch Pulp Fiction. :7

[TXlib]

124. I am not pro-dork...

I only mentioned geeks and nerds...

And in Pulp Fiction, wasn't it "The Gimp", if I'm thinking about the same scene you are? "Bring out The Gimp."

[LynneSin]

28. So when will the Post, ABC, Time et al. print their big story on Kerry..

and his illicit affair.

According your news report here, you stated

As first reported in this space, a serious investigation of the woman and the nature of her relationship with Sen. John Kerry has been underway at TIME magazine, ABC NEWS, the WASHINGTON POST, THE HILL and the ASSOCIATED PRESS, where the woman in question once worked

I was wondering when will those articles be printed? I thought I would buy extra copies for my mother that day cause she loves to read about stuff like that. And since they are stories about illicit sex I would figure these papers would sell out quickly and I'd want to make a beeline early to my local WaWa's so I am ensured of a copy.

You have a ballpark figure of when they'll print their big stories??

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

29. I gotta tell you, LynnSin

All that shit was made up. I'm a liar, and a pretty poor one at that. I'm lazy and stupid, and I was just hoping to get my name in the paper, because I've also got a tremendous self esteem problem.

That's why I'm so fixated on other people's sex lives, because mine is so empty.

That said, I'm working on some new stuff that I predict the papers will all carry!

Best Wishes,
Matt

[LynneSin]

30. Can you give us a hint about what goods you got on who?

So we can start lamblasting it in GD2004

And Matt - do the research: It's LYNNESIN!!! (Don't forgot that E)

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

31. See how lazy I am!?!

Ok, I can't really give too much away, but here are some hints:

Peanut Butter
An armadillo
John Kerry
Greenland
A talking car
The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
A flamethrower

Stay tuned!

Kind Regards,
Matt

[underpants]

32. What do you make of this?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

33. A dancing banana.

I think of Clinton's penis. See, I'm rather fixated on Clinton's penis. I love to think about it, and envision it, and talk about it, and write about it, and....well, you know.

I can't say that I care for the Democratic boxers, however. I may have to alert Unkie Dick to them.

Warningly,
Matt

[underpants]

38. Wow that hat sure does make you quite the newsman

Way to go hat.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

42. It's not the hat that makes me a newsman

It's my integrity and high standards for journalistic excellence.


BWHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHH BWHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

Wow, I even made myself laugh with that one! Yeah, it's the hat!

Best,
Matt

[bushisanidiot]

34. In the chain of command, do you report to Rupert Murdoch or does he report

to you?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

37. Oh heavens no.

I don't get to actually talk to Mr. Murdoch. None of us do, he's far too important to deal with rifraff like me.

Most of us report to Unkie Dick and Big Cousin Karl. They are the only ones that report directly to Mr. Murdoch.

Warm Wishes,
Matt

[LynneSin]

35. If Bill Clinton wanted a night of 'lovin' with you would you...

a.) Accept because you've always had a crush on Bill Clinton and
b.) Report a headline the next day on your website about the night of illicit sex you've had with Bill Clinton

:shrug:

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

39. c)

Report a headline the next day on my web site about the night of illicit sex I've had with Bill Clinton AND John Kerry.

Please note, that I'm incapable of telling the truth, so I'd have to make sure that there was a lie in there that smeared at least 2 prominent Democrats.

Sincerely,
Matt

[ronnykmarshall]

36. Is it true that

"little Matt" is VERY little?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

40. I'm not sure what you mean

I'm as sterile as an OR in Bethesda, so I'm not yet, nor will I be a father.

Best Wishes,
Matt

[ronnykmarshall]

41. Did you ever have botox

or any other cosmetic surgery?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

43. Look at me.

Do you really think I've had any work done?

Matt

[ronnykmarshall]

47. You're not so bad

.... oh wait, there's something on my screen. Let me clean it up a bit.

YIKES!!! Holy cow! If you DID have work done, I'd sue the pants off that doctor.

[Goldberg]

44. How come you never kissed my ass yesterday like I asked?

:D

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

45. **SMOOOCH**

I apologize for missing that. Usually I'm right on top of things like that, as it were.

Sincerely,
Matt

[Goldberg]

46. Thank you.

Now, kiss it again. And after that, kiss my feet and bow down to me. :D

[PVnRT]

48. Do you ever get out into the sun?

You're quite pasty, and your skin is very doughy. You might want to consider some exercise.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

54. I'm very sticky too.

It's weird, if you like touch me, I'm kind of a slimy, sticky mix. It's really very disgusting. I sit in my fake PI basement office all day, looking at por....I mean doing my web site, so I don't get out very much.

Regards,
Matt

[Az]

49. What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow? nt

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

55. Water fountain?

Sincerely,
Matt

[Az]

60. Note to self

Newsman Matt Drudge is no fan of Monty Python.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

61. I do not watch anything that wasn't made in the US of A

I'm not a liberal traitor.

God Bless,
Matt

[Az]

64. Then explain

The Windsor Knot in your tie. Sending subtle liberal messages to Ossama are ya?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

66. NO I'M NOT

NO I'M NOT!

It's a...um...Kansas knot! And I speak and write American!

[spooky3]

50. Thank you, Newsman, for this stimulating exchange.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

56. That's really more of a comment than a question

But you're quite welcome. I like to come over and see what you guys are talking about.

As they say on the radio stations that play people like me, it's all about the stimulating talk.

You evil tree hugging hippie liberal scum bags.

Best,
Matt

[TXlib]

52. Since you're lazy, won't do research, and make up stories...

Have you thought about just writing short stories?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

57. One important thing to keep in mind:

I'm a no talent hack. If I don't stick the names of real people (Democrats) in my stories, who would ever pay attention? I can't write, I'm not creative, I'm not smart. You call this fiction, then anyone who likes fiction would laugh it off the screen.

Bottom line is, I need to be relevant, otherwise it's back to Arby's for me.

Thanks very kindly,
Matt

[Goldberg]

58. I like your honesy.

:D:D:D

[skypilot]

53. What, if anything...

...was actually going through your mind when this picture was taken? Were you actually pensive or just trying for that pensive look?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

59. No, I'm not from Pennsylvania

But thanks for asking!

Best wishes,
Matt

[tom_paine]

63. What is the largest animal you've ever had sex with?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

65. Rush Limbaugh

Love,
Matt

[Goldberg]

67. Oh my God...

that's the funniest thing I've read all day!

[reprehensor]

68. You have a strangely shaped head...

To stop people in the future from having your strangely-shaped head, will you be spayed soon?

Also, will you work with Senator 'why the long face' Kerry to fabricate a new Eugenics law to stop any and all people with strange heads from breeding?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

70. Please see post #40

Best wishes,
Matt

[TheMightyFavog]

69. Do you find Slobadon Milosevic sexy?

End of Line.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

71. Yes

In kind of a rugged southern slavic-cowboy way. I also really appreciate the slaughter of people who don't agree with me, so I think he might have been on to something with that.

Warm Regards,
Matt

[Ladyhawk]

72. Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

eom

[Ladyhawk]

73. Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

[Ladyhawk]

75. My mother and brother get all their news from you and Faux.

I know you were right about that one thing that you can't quite remember. Would you be willing to divulge an URL that follows the things you were wrong about? It might have some good talking points I could use with my degenerate neoconservative family members.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

80. The best source for information about my lies

is my own site. Everything I say on it is a lie, so there's no difficulty in recognizing what a liar I am.

That said, there are some wonderful parody sites up that poke some good natured fun at me. That's kind of like shooting fish in a barrel though.

Fox News is the number one purveyor of the truth*

Love and Kindness,
Matt

*Truth is copyrighted by News Corp and Rupert Murdoch. Anyone wishing to use the term Truth or suggest they know the Truth must contact New Corp and pledged their life to News Corp. Truth will henceforth be only what News Corp or any of its subsidiaries say it is, including, but not limited to Newsman Matt Drudge, Fox News, The NY Post, The Bush Administration or any other holding of Rupert Murdoch and News Corp.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

77. Does that include me?

If so, then no.

Regards,
Matt

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

76. Nope!

I don't ever leave my basement. The light of day would show me for what I am. I don't want people looking into me for real.

Longingly,
Matt

[Kamika]

74. Is that picture really you?

You look like the guy from evil dead, Bruce Cambell

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

81. Sadly, yes

The really funny thing about it, is that I think I look cool with my Newsman hat on.

Pathetic isn't it?

Best wishes,
Matt

[progressiverealist]

78. which closeted republican suffers from the most inner conflict?

I'd guess Santorum but you'd know better than I.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

85. How long of a list do you want!

Let me give you just a quick snippet:

Santorum is obviously gay

Ann Coulter is just angry about a guy that dumped her in 9th grade

Trent Lott has no inner conflict, since he really is that dumb

DeLay has a constant need to be "held" by people, be it staffers, supporters, whatever. Someone always has to be hugging him when the cameras aren't on

Hannity is as liberal as most of you people, but thinks that makes God hate him

O'Reilly really takes the cake though. I once saw him beat the living crap out of himself, physically, after a bad show. He really hates himself

Regards,
Matt

[ronnykmarshall]

79. Boxers of briefs?

[GOPisEvil]

82. A tough, grizzled newsman like Matt goes commando.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

86. Exactly!

It's really pretty irrelevant though, as I have no genitalia to speak of.

Freely,
Matt

[Bunny]

83. Confess.

You're really A-Schwarzenegger, right? It's not possible that DU could have TWO people as funny as you are!

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

87. Thank you for the compliment!

I am not A-Schwarzenegger, however. I've read his posts and he's far more creative than I. After all, I'm an incompetent liar, incapable of doing even basic journalism. A-Schwarzenegger is a governor! I mean, wow, man. Wow.

Kind greetings,
Matt

[Kamika]

84. I have another question.

Who's your daddy? And what does he do?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

88. *sniff*

I don't have a daddy. I was actually created using a mix of Mountain Dew and an ostrich egg. It's very painful for me.

Do the Dew,
Matt

[theorist]

89. Do you get angry? If so, what makes you angry?

Also, is Sean Hannity a good kisser? I heard you would know first hand.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

91. The following things make me angry

When people aren't like real, you know?;
Liars (I'm self loathing, remember);
When liberals think they have rights;
When I have to venture outside of my basement;
Ping pong.

I cannot answer as to whether or not Sean is a good kisser. Sean is a good journalist, nearly as good as me, if not gooder. He loves both his wife and mistress and would never engage in the homoeroticism that he and I have both longed for since the late 80s.

Happily,
Matt

[gulfcoastliberal]

93. Have you seen Texas Gov. Rick Perry

Naked?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

95. Geez

A lot of people want to know who I've seen naked.

Bottom line here is, I've never seen anyone naked, including myself. Nudity is evil, and as such it should be avoided at all costs. Unless it is being described on my web site, regarding a sinning liberal.

Love,
Matt

[TheMightyFavog]

90. Have you ever seen Cal Thomas naked?

End of Line.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

92. Hmmm. I think you have me confused....

I think you have me confused with my good friend Chuck Colson.

He's your guy on that question.

You didn't hear it from me.

Regards,
Matt

[geniph]

94. Two questions, "Newsman" Drudge:

a) when are you going to move out of your mom's basement?

and

b) is it true you're comprised mainly of the material excised from Limbaugh's pilonidal ass cyst?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

96. Well, as I described above

I don't have parents as such, having been conceived using Mountain Dew and an ostrich egg, but I do indeed spend the bulk of my time in my adopted mother's basement.

Mother doesn't like when I talk about her though.

Mother thinks they'll try to break my balls.

Sincerely,
Matt

[Shananigans]

97. Will you marry me?

I always thought you were a little sexy, despite your misguided leanings.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

98. glork

Yabby tullnin wooga bleffery.

Sorry *cough* I have trouble, um, talking to *cough* people who like me. But regretfully, I can only have one mistress. I fear that if I'm wed, that I will not be able to continue in my pursuit of News Corp approved Truth. Alas, Unkie Dick would never let me have a bride.

Regretfully,
Matt

[Shananigans]

110. This depresses me so...

I think I must be destined to spend the rest of my days in single, lonely asylum. Is there room in your basement? ;)

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

112. I've broken many a heart...

no wait, no I haven't...

Bottom line here is, if you like me, then I don't want anything to do with you!

Sorrowly,
Matt

[myrna minx]

99. What is your favorite food that you eat straight from the can?

Baked beans? Spaghetti-o's? Or do you just eat what you mom lets you? Do you have kitchen privileges?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

101. Outstanding question

That's a tough call, since I eat most of my food straight from the can. I usually put the can in the microwave, and turn it on, before I gnaw the can open with my teeth.

I'd have to say my all time favorite however is chow-chow. I can eat about 12 cans of that a day!

Appreciatively,
Matt

[myrna minx]

104. Follow up, Mr. Drudge...

When is it appropriate to use your tie as a napkin?

And, do you have any "kissing posters" on your bedroom wall?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

105. You should always use your tie as a napkin

Just please always be very careful that it does not unclip as you are wiping your face. Believe you me, it's really embarassing when you are wiping the Hooters wings residue from your pasty face with your tie, and it just pops right off!

I have one and only one poster on my wall. It is of Eric Dickerson, circa 1987.

Kissingly,
Matt

[LynneSin]

100. You have any dirt on GrovelBot

I know you have some secrets about the guy!!!

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

102. Let's just say

that money ain't the only thing he's grovelin' for!

Vaguely,
Matt

[AVID]

103. have you ever

been in the military?

in Jail?

in a hot tub?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

106. Yes to 2 out of 3 of those

I'm not engage in the specificity required to denote which of the three are affirmative.

Thanks,
Matt

[beanball]

107. Yo Matt

have you spent any time at your local funny farm?(nut house)

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

109. Why no?

Why do you ask?

I'm not a nut (Yes you are) No I am not (Yes you are)

SHUT UP!!!

Best,
Matt

[myrna minx]

111. Have you ever, while casually sitting around with

Santorum, Rush and Hannity, have you ever just broke out into a game of Twister? I mean, after a few mai tai's, who could blame you?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

113. That just brought a smile to my face.

Ah the memories...misty watercolored memories...

Fondly,
Matt

[tom_paine]

114. What is your reply to your critics who say you are a worthless hack?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

126. Guilty as charged!

If being a worthless hack is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Good Morning,
Matt

[terrya]

115. Do you REALLY like eggs, Newsman Matt?

I heard from some sources that you really enjoy eggs. In different, exciting ways.

Terry

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

127. Oh, yes that is certainly true

I especially enjoy brown eggs.

Best Wishes,
Matt

[PVnRT]

116. Is Dick Cheney the cause of all suffering in the universe?

:shrug:

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

128. You leave Unkie Dick alone!

Unkie Dick never done nothin' to no one no how. Unkie Dick is a fine American, and I am proud to call him my boss!

Familially,
Matt

[Ladyhawk]

117. How long did it take you to grow the five o'clock shadow in your pic?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

129. 17 years

I'm not very masculine. Additionally, I have no libido. That's what makes it so easy for me to try to slam everyone else for their sex lives, because I have none.

Best Regards,
Matt

[eileen_d]

118. Were you popular in high school?

Please recount an amusing anecdote from your teenage years.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

131. A golden meadow....

I, wearing my new fedora, she festooned with the corsage I'd just presented to her. We fell in love that day. We frolicked in the grass, basking in one another's glow, our hearts aflutter, our minds confused. Says I to she, "I love you, my sweet. Dost thou return this love?" Says my sweet back to me: BBBBAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Then she ate a fence post and returned to grazing with the other sheep.

Mistily,
Matt

[Ladyhawk]

119. Is this really Will Pitt?

You're too good a writer to be Matt Drudge.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

132. You want to talk about a hack?!??!?!!?!?

Well, then talk about me, cause that Will Pitt is a fine writer!

I'm quite sure that Mr. Pitt has neither the time nor inclanation to continue this thread for as long as I have. Fortunately, I have nothing better to do!

Warm Wishes,
Matt

[Ladyhawk]

121. Describe in great detail the process of pulling a story out of your ass.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

133. First, I remove the gerbal

and then, really, it's just a matter of doing whatever Unkie Dick and Big Cousin Karl tell me to.

They'd hurt me otherwise,

Kind Wishes,
Matt

[onebigbadwulf]

122. Were you molested by liberals as a child?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

134. Well, not as such

If by "molested", you mean "punished with severe erotic masochism", and if by "liberals" you mean "conservatives", and if by "as a child" you mean "in your mid 20s", then yes.

Wistfully,
Matt

[joeybee12]

123. We all know you're a mincing, prancing, flaming homosexual...so...

does the fact that you can't deal with this have anything to do with the fact you lie so much? I mean, is it self-loathing that makes you turn on people who should be your friends, and then sleep (literally and figuartively) with people who despise you?

BTW, I may be old and desperate, but your photo is making me wanna stay celibate just a little longer!!!

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

135. It's really far less complicated than that

You are giving me WAY too much credit for being able to a) exhibit thoughts this profound and then b) have the self-awareness and cognitive ability to recognize it.

The simple truth is that I'm a flamed out dipshit.

Warm Regards,
Matt

[populistmom]

125. Are you really someone else?

Perhaps too afraid to show your "real" identity? Just wondering...?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

136. Aren't we all populistmon,

aren't we all?

Disguisedly,
Matt

[terrya]

130. Hi again, Newsman Matt. Have you read Michealangelo Signorile's column?

this week? He raked you over the coals over the John Kerry intern "story" you announced.

Any comments?

Thanks,
Terry

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

138. Joe Conason wrote a story about Bush I's infidelity

I mean, er, a, alleged infidelity. Since Joe Conason is the best political writer of our generation, I figure that if he can write about it, so can I. Granted his article was more about the intricacies and hypocrisies of Democrats vs. Republicans and their sex lives, but I'm not smart enough to note that dichotomy.

So my response to Signorile is that anything Conason can do, I can do at least 1% as good!

Braggingly,
Matt

[TXlib]

137. Perhaps you could weigh in on my poll...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=773313

You know, get your readers to Freep it!

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

139. I voted "Other" in your poll

And I would advise all my readers to do the same. For I am Newsman Matt Drudge, champion of the truth that I see fit to call the truth and thus expose on my site!

I might have mentioned something to arwalden, but now that I realize my identity is in question, and a topic of conversation, I shall milk this for all the notoriety I can, before Newsman Matt Drudge falls in a blaze of glory and/or this gets old or unfunny!

Kind wishes,
Matt

[Hubert Flottz]

140. Did your Momma ever have any kids that lived?

Just wondering!

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

141. Mother doesn't like when I talk about her

Mother would just as soon she stay out of this fray. She is ever so forceful on this point.

I've said too much already.

Frightenly,
Matt

[Hubert Flottz]

142. RE:"She is ever so forceful on this point"

Kinda like the Widow Bates vs young Master Bates thang, it sounds like! Do you and your mother figure run a rural motel by any chance?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

143. We used to, actually

Then there was some "ugliness" and we moved back to the city.

I can't really get too into it.

Warm Wishes,
Matt

[Hubert Flottz]

144. So that would explain you rabid propensity to back stab people,

at the drop of a hat! Btw, your hat does have a sort of dropped may times look!(nice patina on that hat though Norma..Errr...I mean Matt!)

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

145. I don't ever, ever drop my hat.

Ever.

Best Wishes,
Matt

[Hubert Flottz]

146. Otay!

Try not to get upset and hurt anybody here Matt! I called the dawg catcher, help is on the way my friend!

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

148. Deep breaths. Deep breaths

It's alright. I'm just a little touchy about the hat. The hat is extremely important. It helps define me, Newsman Matt Drudge as an extremely important journalist.

Regards,
Matt

[MrBenchley]

147. Dear Newsman Matt Drudge:

My questions for you:

Since the visit to the Daytona 500 seems to have fallen flat, where else is our fuehr...er, pResident likely to turn up, and what costume will he wear?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

149. Excellent question, MrBenchley

Ok, see Mr. Bush likes to live out his fantasies. So he played a pilot, and a race car driver, and a commander in chief. He's got some wonderful events lined up for the next few months, in the hopes that people will see what a regular guy he is, and also have some more of his fantasies.

In March, he'll be putting on a country and western singin' show in Branson

April will find him chowing down on the new pork chop biscuit sandwich at a Hardees in Greenville, SC

Come May, he'll participate in a new Fox reality show called "The Fresh Prince of America" in which he'll try very hard to convince an upscale Orange County family that he is the President of the United States, with the goal being multi-billion dollar corporate tax cuts

Sometime in June, he'll be a roadie for a couple of weeks with Aerosmith

And finally in July, he'll sky dive above DC on the Independence Day celebration, going past the Washington monument in just the right light and frame, land on the mall, and play tuba with the Marine Corp band during the fireworks.

Cheers,
Matt

[MrBenchley]

150. LOL!!

"The Fresh Prince of America"

[myrna minx]

158. The Fresh Prince of America. LOL! n/t

[Shananigans]

151. What size was the Ostrich egg?

I know this might seem like a silly question, but my father, a scientist, has had a rather large ostrich egg sitting on our shelf for as long as I have been around. I don't want to draw any conclusions, but it does have a slight "Mountain Dewey" smell to it...

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

153. Mother said I had a sister!

Regretfully, after I hatched, the egg was destroyed, so attempts to measure the size would pose a challenge at this point. Also the scientist who incubated me used something called "The Metric System" to record all the relevant information, and I don't have any idea what that means.

Cheers,
Matt

[SOteric]

152. Can you comment a bit for us

on your fellow newsmen?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

154. They are all a bunch of damned liberals

Except for Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Bob Novak, Tucker Carlson, Tony Snow, Tim Russert, George Will, Cal Thomas, Dr. Laura, William Safire, Alan Keyes, Howard Kurtz, Chris Matthews, Pat Buchanan, Neil Boortz, Ann Coulter, Maureen Dowd....

Anyway, the media is dominated by hippie liberals.

Regards,
Matt

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

155. Is Matt Drudge really NJ TV host Uncle Floyd?

There's clearly a resemblance, and it's obvious Oogie writes your stuff.

I wondered how you were spending your time since you went off the air.


Pretending you don't know who he is will just prove it's true, so give it up, Floyd.

[regularguy]

156. "Don't avoid. Watch Uncle Floyd!"

.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

157. Major Major

So if I deny that I know who he is, it proves it's true. But since I don't know who he is, I cannot but deny it. And otherwise I'm lying, which of course I have no problem with, but if I lie and deny that I am he, that again proves that I am.

There should be a name for such a situation.

Literarilly,
Matt

[TheMightyFavog]

159. Two Questions:

Is it is bad as I think it is?

and

Are they really out to get me?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

160. Another good question

First things first, I've noted that you have Brewers avatar. The only conclusion that I can therefore draw is that, yes, it is as bad as you think. I mean, are you really psyched about Junior Spivey?

Secondly, rest assured they are not out to get you. Really, they aren't. No, stop looking behind you, they aren't there. You don't really see them.

Really.

Seligly,
Matt

[non sociopath skin]

161. Matt, how do you feel ...

.. about our good friends in the U of K press having the courage to print DER TRUTH about Kerry and that floozy when whinging pinko liberal scandal sheets like The New York Times showed their commie bias and wouldn't take your word for it?

Spartacus

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

162. Well, I think it shows...

that Mr. Murdoch still doesn't have quite enough power here in America. Clearly has done a good job of consolidating his power in the U.K. Fancy Lad Tony is clearly on the payroll, and behaving properly, but here we still don't quite have as firm a grip as needed.

Rest assured though, that Mr. Murdoch will see to it that America soon falls into line with the News Corp approved world domination.

All hail king Rupert!

Hopefully,
Matt

ps: edit for a typo. I'm very stupid, after all!

[non sociopath skin]

168. Couldn't agree more, Matt..

.. maybe when THE PRESIDENT is re-elected we could maybe give him the New York Times as a kind of thank-you gift? As well as the cabinet post of course. BTW, which cabinet post are you after?

The Skin

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

169. Well, cross your fingers for me...

I'm hoping that Mr. Murdoch will put me in charge of the soon to be formed Ministry of Truth. I've already promised him that I'll do whatever I can for the good of the party.

Pignaciously,
Matt

[MrBenchley]

163. The jobs forecast from the other day

went down the toilet today....

"WASHINGTON Feb. 18 — The White House backed away Wednesday from its own prediction that the economy will add 2.6 million new jobs before the end of this year, saying the forecast was the work of number-crunchers and that President Bush was not a statistician. "

http://abcnews.go.com/wire/Politics/ap20040218_1048.html

So now we know he's not a statistician, not that anyone is on record as suspecting he was. Can you, Newsman Matt Drudge, tell us some other things he is not?

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

164. Happily

Well, I can now confirm that what he meant to say was that the economy would lose 2.6 million jobs. Yes, lose. It's a simple mistake, one that I'm sure all of us make all the time.

Additionally, here are some other forcasted numbers that the White House has not decided to publish yet:

57 Trillion - Per capita share of the federal deficit in 2010
700 Million - Cost for "official" Presidential visits this year to important swing states
6 - Number of states expected to secede following November election should Bush win
100 Billion - Taxpayer costs for "Clearin' Brush" in Crawford, TX
3 - Bathroom breaks Unkie Dick let's Dubya have per day
245 - Steps from E Street Gate to the South Portico, Dubya done figgered that un out all on his own!

P-scorely,
Matt

[Ziggy_0253]

165. Larry Flynt...

Mr. Flynt has a better track record for the truth than you do. What's up with that?


:kick:

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

166. Are there no more questions then?

If not, I shall return to my Eric Dickerson poster, Mountain Dew and re-set my web browser to the Limbaugh Letter.

Kind wishes,
Matt

[Hubert Flottz]

167. The Sludge Report IS a pack of lies the best I could tell!

I think you're on Jeb's payroll, and I'll bet you hang out with Miz Harris and those other dregs in swampland! No wonder your Momma doesn't like you!

The same KIND of wishes back at you!
Hubert