So has anyone ever done a semen analysis before?

[Hawkeye-X]

How does it exactly work?

(Not a sex thread)

[auntAgonist]

1. uh no, not me

sorry, couldn't resist.

:hi:

aA

[DS1]

2. Only distance

what?

[flvegan]

3. !!!

:rofl:

[YDogg]

4. visual?

[seemunkee]

5. Not knowing how the thing works is your first problem

Now that the cheap shot is over
Had to do it after my vasectomy. They give you a baggie/condom crossbreed and you do your thing in it. Hand it over and they take care of it from there.

[pokerfan]

23. HMO?

Sorry, old joke.

[guitar man]

31. can you bring your own magazines?

:shrug:

[zanne]

32. Compared to a PAP smear...

It sounds pretty easy.

[DarkTirade]

6. It's a bit salty.

Leave it at that.

[TK421]

7. Really? I was told it had a citrus-like tang to it

:shrug:

[Elidor]

9. Only if you get a vegetarian

Dang, now Flvegan is gonna be all up in this thread.

[TK421]

25. I'm serious here...I was told it had a citrus-y taste to it !

granted, I've never tasted my own, but this is just going off of what a certain...ummmm, friend told me!

:blush: is this unusual or something? Dude....I don't know!

[unpossibles]

30. I find it has a bit more wang than tang

but that's just my humble opinion.

[lost-in-nj]

14. who the

fuck told you that!!!?????


they were wrong.....


or drunk....


LOL


lost





(sorry) :hug:

[TK421]

15. They were definitely drunk, yes

:D

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. Like baking soda *ick*

[begin_within]

33. More like baking soda

[Fox Mulder]

8. I know of a woman in a back alley that'll give you one.

It'll cost you like $10 though.

:shrug:

[lost-in-nj]

10. I'm a girl

I don't have semen....

sorry


lost

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

11. Are you doing it and asking for instructions

or having it done?

If you are having it done, I can tell you that it is no big deal in all likelihood.

As we went through IVF, had to do that at least twice. Little room, magazines, cup, etc :shrug:

Sharpie to write name on the specimen bottle.

Can't remember the movie, but I'd just seen it where they went and gave samples and went to the nurse and she was like "is that all you got?", I had that going through my head as I handed it to the nice lady at the lab who matter of factly took it from me and made no such comments :)

[Hawkeye-X]

16. Porn?

What kindof magazines?

[SPKrazy]

26. Oh they had

Playboy,Penthouse, really a sad selection of stuff to look at to be honest.

[ironflange]

12. A great scene from "Night Court"

Dan Fielding is considering being a sperm donor.

Interviewer: Have you ever had your sperm analyzed?

Dan: You mean by a professional?

:rofl:

That was a great show.

[Jimbo S]

35. "Your sperm is slow and immature."

Yes, that episode is the first thing that popped into my head as well.

[Inchworm]

13. I caught a disease off my ex if that counts

I don't remember semen, but I do remember popsickle sticks...

:hi:

[supernova]

18. Not professionally

;-)

[musette_sf]

19. ask Pastor Donald Wildmon

he seems to know an awful lot about it.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=3257460&mesg_id=3257460

[HughBeaumont]

20. I had to do it after I got scalpeled, and I have to do it again.

I remember a 1 month (to get any "hangers on" outta the tube) and a 2 month (where I was officially declared sterile). Now I have to go back for a 6 month in June to make sure the separated tubes didn't, by some freak event, get back together again.

[begin_within]

34. Before I put on my glasses, I thought that said, "I had to do it after I got scalped"

[Release The Hounds]

21. It was better than giving blood.

[csziggy]

22. I watched it done - for a horse as part of an AI procedure

After the semen was collected, they put a sample of it on a slide and checked the motility and density of the little swimmers. In that case, lots of very active swimmers so when the mare was inseminated, she got preggers the first try. All very clinical, though collecting the semen is NOT something I'd want to do myself. You wanna see how that is done, here is the Dirty Jobs episode where Mike Rowe did it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJieLiOGj_M

[SarahB]

24. I made my ex-husband get one after his vasectomy.

Several times. I really, really, REALLY did not want his supersperm knocking me up again.

I think it involves a microscope and looking for "swimmers". :shrug:

[Lil Missy]

27. It counts your swimmers.

If you are trying to cause a pregnancy, it determines whether your sperm count is high enough. It takes a million or so of them little buggers to make a baby. You'd want your sperm count to be high.

If you are trying to prevent a pregnancy, or if you've had a vasectomy, you want the sperm count to be low.

[DS1]

28. Or one tough motherfucker

:D

[MilesColtrane]

36. Well, count this guy out.

All the motion probably makes him nauseous.

[Phillycat]

29. Well, good morning to you too.

[kwassa]

37. I've had one done

for fertility analysis purposes.

If you haven't guessed already, the client goes into the bathroom at the doctor's office and masturbates into a cup.

It is strange, but necessary to figuring out fertility issues.

[Parche]

38. I Have Done One On The Sperm Of The Moment

:woohoo:

:hi: