This week's column - I knock bush for fun.

[HEyHEY]

It doesn't make any points...I just feel like making fun of Bush....Does it need anything? If you see any typs don't worry I'll get them by press time.

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When will the U.S. lead invasion of Canada occur? It would seem as though George W. Bush, but for the purposes of this article we’ll call him shrub, has been pushing for it for a while now. The latest iron in the fire was the U.S. accusation that "Liberalism makes Canada a terrorist haven."

Yeah, and fundamentalism makes the U.S. a moron haven. I say this because it is usually unreasonable members of the U.S. religious right that will scream at the top of their lungs when their nation gets the guns out. So much for love thy neighbour. I wouldn’t be surprised if statements like "Canada is a terrorist haven have some Americans up in arms and wanting the U.S. to invade. We all know how much Americans love to get indignant when they discover other people don’t feel the same way they do.

I’d like to know what Canada ever did to Shrub? Why does he hate us so much? The only reasonable answer I can come up with is comedian Rick Mercer’s prank on him during the last republican primaries. Remember when Mercer went up to Shrub during a republican rally and told him, "Prime Minister Poutine offered his support." Shrub accepted the endorsement and offered his thank you to the non-existent Prime Minister. It made Shrub look like such an idiot I think he’s had it out for us Canadians ever since.

And I’m sure our decision not to support his false war against Iraq really got under his skin, there is nothing Shrub hates more than integrity. He loathes it the way a child loathes bedtime. And I’m sure it bothers him even more that Canada was right in our decision seeing as how no Weapons of Mass Distraction, oops did I say that out-loud? I mean Weapons of Mass Destruction were ever found. Combine these two examples with Alberta’s oil and BC’s constant selling of marijuana to the U.S., I bet Shrub feels he would have a legitimate reason to invade.

So I’m thinking I should build a bomb shelter and start buying up all the canned food at the local supermarkets. Then I can rest easy when I hear apache helicopters roaring over the skies above. Maybe, when it’s all over, I can come out waving an U.S. flag and praising Shrub and his band of freedom fighters for liberating my poor oppressed canuck soul.

The other option is to open our borders to the masses of reasonable Americans who would make damn good Canadian citizens. Then maybe we could increase our population enough to overpower the U.S. and be the new big-boys on the block. Imagine a world ruled by Canada. Good environmental policies, healthcare for everyone, and of course, lots of hockey.

But it’s not in our nature to be the big boys on the block. In the scheme of things the U.S. is a used car salesman, and Canada is a bookstore clerk. Quiet, unimposing, and apathetic. So unfortunately my above ideas are fairly useless.

[TheMightyFavog]

1. Great piece!

End of Line.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

2. How is your particular town politically. I have a feeling it might be

slightly less extreme-right than most rural Albertan towns due to it's industrial past (your riding has the highest NDP vote in Alberta outside Edmonton - not much - 6.7%, but something) Do you fear a backlash from locals?

[HEyHEY]

3. Nah, they can kiss my ass

Plus I may have that other job.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

4. Good news, fella.

[HEyHEY]

5. shameless kick