Always think of just the right thing to say - seconds AFTER

[ashling]

You know how you always think of just the right thing to say only seconds after the opportunity is gone. I guess that actually makes it just the right thing you should have said, but anyway ......

Well YOU don't ... no, not You who always comes up with just the right word at just the right time ... but the rest of us schmoes are stuck with thinking about what we should have said ....

Anyway, I was at the Doctor's office today for my poison ivy, which is really going crazy and taking over my whole life. Anyway, during the visit she asked me "Do you eat red meat?" Perfectly legit question, and I gave a perfectly legit (and true) answer.

(DISCLAIMER)
Now, I am not going to tell you what I said, because this is my chance to say what I should have said. Now I am too honest to tell you that this is what I actually said. I only do that after I have said it over and over to myself and realized what a loser I am and think about it night and day until I finally convince myself that I really DID say it, and what a bright, witty conversationalist I am.

I'm not there yet.

So, when the Dr. asked me "Do you eat red meat?" I should have said "No ... chickenfried."

:rofl:

[DarkTirade]

1. That's why I try to prepare a slew of smart-ass things to say in advance.

:P

*edit* That's also one of the nice things about being on DU... we have all the time in the world to answer, and we even have a little while after that to hit the edit button if we think of something else.

[ashling]

2. Next time someone asks me that I'll be ready!

I am proud of a response i came up with back in '04 to a redneck who aske, having viewed the field of bumnper stickers on my truck, if I was really going to vote for Kerry. I said"ye, I think I will"
His response: "You piece of sheeuht!"
My response: " Gee (pause) I sure hope that makes you feel better . . . because it makes you look awefull stupid."

[RushIsRot]

3. I got off one good line once.

Before I retired I had the resident redneck come into my office. In a semi-playful way, he shook his fist in my face and said, "Do you see that?"

I responded with, "Yep."

He came back with, "What do you see?"

I got off my zinger, "Liver spots!"