This is kind of a fucked up post - but how do you know when your cat is ready to die?

[Madrone]

:cry:

Mine has kidney failure and I just spent some time with him in his bathroom hidey-spot ... and he's just not...right. He's breathing rapidly, panted a bit when I stressed him out accidentally ... I just don't know. I hate to go to bed and leave him ... :cry: He's responsive, just ... not right. I've seen a handful of rats pass and with them it was very quick and I was with them all when they went. Cats are different - and I'm at a loss for what to do right now.

[PeaceNikki]

1. My doggie told me with his eyes when it was time. He suffered a while.

I'm so very sorry.

:hug:

[Madrone]

4. I'm really at a loss right now - because if there was some way

to know he's not going to make it through the night I'd stay awake with him all night. I just don't know what to look for I guess. My experience with the rats was that it was quick - there was no doubt that *that* was what was going on. I took them to bed with me wrapped in a blanket and held them until they went. It was peaceful and non-traumatic. I dunno the deal with a cat...

He's my first ever cat, and first pet of my own as an adult. :(

[PeaceNikki]

8. My parents cat crawled up onto his favorite spot by the fireplace while they were at work.

When they left they knew he was pretty sick, but had no idea it would be "the day".

What's his name and how old is he?

[Madrone]

12. His name is Othello

And he's ... 17? 16 maybe? I can't remember if I got him in 1991 or 92.

[PeaceNikki]

15. Awww. He's beautiful.

He looks a LOT like my parents kitty.

I am sure that buddy and my dearly departed Sammy will play and have fun with him at the rainbow bridge.

Give him some scritches for me.

[stuntcat]

34. oh Othello's very handsome!

He is a lucky guy to have such love :hug:

[Flaxbee]

2. I don't know, but I am dreading what the hell I'm going to have to

do or know when my old fella who has kidney issues gets to a *certain point*.

Are there any emergency vets you could call?

I'm so sorry. :hug: I don't know what to tell you, but you have my best thoughts, vibes, etc. Please let me know what you do, or find out, because I have no idea what to expect with my guy, either.

[Madrone]

7. PM me so I remember and can answer the questions when it happens.

I've never seen any animal other than rats die from old age - with them there was no question, and it was quick and relatively peaceful.

There was a scare a couple of months ago where I thought it was *it* - and I was hysterical. But a trip to the vet, antibiotics for a bad mouth infection and an enema fixed him right up.

I will definitely share the information with you though - knowing what to expect as their organs shut down would be a BIG help to me right now, and I'll be "happy" to share whatever information I can with you.

[texanwitch]

3. My cats have always let me know.

A few of my cats have gone off and died, cats sometimes do that.

So sorry to hear about your kitty.:hug:

[truedelphi]

5. Oh gosh, I am so sorry that your baby is in this situation

Cats can go down, and further down and down and they don't go quickly.

My kitty, Sophie, that had cancer, in the end I called around to find a vet who would do a home visit and put her down. It was pricey - like $ 195 and I wouldn't be able to afford it these days. But luckily back then, I could. I called on a Wednesday and he came Thursday afternoon.

The alternative would have been
1) carrying her down the street to the usual vet's and thus traumatizing her by all the hassle of being in her kitty carrier, traffic noise, etc.
2) Letting her go on her own - which might have been another to or three days (OR MORE!) of suffering.

My vet had already explained that when they are crashed out, breathing rapidly, no longer eating or drinking,etc, that their life is over. And it's time to do what you can to end their suffering.

Her last day, I moved her to the center of the kitchen and gave her the big sleeping bag, and I slept on a smaller bag next to her so she knew I was close. She was too weak to jump up on our bed.

If there is a heaven, I am hoping she will be there to greet me. In fact, it won't be heaven without her.

[Madrone]

16. She'll be there.

THere is NO DOUBT in my mind that our animals are with us wherever we go.

Thank you for that information - I didn't know that nature wouldn't take it's course quickly. :(

[Digit]

6. I have never witnessed the passing of an animal....

Has the panting and heart rate come down though?

[Madrone]

11. he seems a little more calm -

but not relaxed, and not RIGHT.

[Digit]

23. Truedelphi in post 5 probably has the right signals.

At least it is for humans. When my mother was passing, the nurse had said that when her heart rate and breathing increased, her time was close.

I am not a vet or medical person, but could it be a stone and not organ failure?

You know, sometimes you have to do what your heart tells you to do. The bond you have, should tell
you what is going on. Then again, the love you have for your furry friend may cause you to second guess.

My heart goes out to both of you just the same.

[Haole Girl]

9. Never have gone through that...

yet... thank goodness.

When I was young, a cat I was very close to was hit by a car...

anyway, sending you a big hug. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. :hug:

[huskerlaw]

10. It sounds like he's about there...

I had a cat with FiV a few years ago and the night before I took him in to euthanize him, he was breathing rapidly and he just LOOKED like he was in pain. It's in the eyes. They get glassy and kind of...empty.

I ended up sleeping on the floor next to him that night because I knew what I had to do the next morning. He may have lasted a few more days beyond that, but it was clear he wasn't going to get better.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If there's any way I can help, please let me know.

:hug:

[Madrone]

13. Your post made me laugh...

Not laugh because it's funny - but that I was just having that thought. Curling up in the bathroom for the night. Maybe tomorrow... first thing, call the vet.

I had a false alarm before ... arghhhhh. It's hard not knowing.

And the timing SUCKS. Next week is my complete and total hell week - this just isn't good. Not that it EVER is, but especially now.

[huskerlaw]

22. It was quite the sight, I'm sure...

I ended up asleep on the living room floor. In Nebraska. In the winter. Without a blanket. One would think I could have at least thought that far ahead, but nooooo. The cat had a blanket, but I didn't. D'uh.

It is really hard to know. It would be so much easier if they could just tell you how they're feeling. Alex actually made it pretty easy for me. He was in pain, he winced when I touched him. If he hadn't been in obvious physical pain, I know I would have questioned myself a lot more.

The thing is that if he's clearly not going to get better and his discomfort is outweighing his happiness, you know what you have to do. Somewhat cold comfort for you, I know, but when it's time, it's the best gift that you can give to him.

I'll be thinking of both of you tomorrow. Good luck with what I'm sure will be a completely shitty week. :( :hug:

[grasswire]

14. I'd stay up with him.

On my beloved Chester's last night he was in his usual spot, right behind my knees on the bed. I wasn't actually awake the moment he passed, and I have regretted that. I recall him crying during the night and me patting him and reassuring him, but I wasn't fully awake. That hurts me.

When my other elder cat, Figgy, passed, it was difficult. She became agitated at the last moment and was actually running backwards, as if to try to escape whatever was happening to her. I had to get her and cradle her and then it was soon over.

Both of them passed from CRF.

It's a hard, hard moment, friend. I've cried buckets. I'm feeling for you right now.

[Madrone]

18. If you don't mind ...

and I know it's morbid and horrible ... but could you describe what happened right before - it happened?

[grasswire]

24. I've been with several cats when they passed.

There's something very mysterious and awesome to me about the power of the life force, and what happens when it's just gone and the thing that was living is not living.

I believe that Chester cried out to me when he went, but I was half asleep.

Figgy, as I said, became agitated just beforehand.

Eventually, they just stop breathing and might shudder a bit or have some involuntary movements. You'll know.

I don't think of it as creepy or morbid -- the illness is over, after all. It's just overwhelmingly sad for the owner. Death is not always an enemy.

If you have the ability to do so, you might pay to have a veterinarian come to your home and put kitty to sleep tomorrow if things haven't improved. It appears the end is near. It's a respectful way to say goodbye.

[Madrone]

26. That's how it was when my rats passed.

But it was within 24 hours - and I was with them. It made it much less traumatic for ME - being there and seeing them go naturally. So I get what you're saying.

The sadness will also be tempered with a huge amount of relief as he's been a very high maintenance cat with the health issues, and I've been barely holding on in all areas of my life for a long time. That of course does not mean that it will be EASY.

[XemaSab]

17. My cat took days of overt odd behavior before I took her to the vet and had her put down

If he's really in bad shape, take him to the vet.

Koshie's temperature was about 7 degrees low. It was her time. :(

[sfdiva]

19. I'm so sorry!

Its hard to think about when an animal is sick .. I dont know what I would do w/o my 2

[truedelphi]

20. Also madrone, be real good to you after it happens

If you can stay home from work, or in any other way treat yourself to a space of time to grieve, I think it is very important. Our pets are our kids and yet society doesn't exactly make it easy to grieve - not even for the people we lose.

[Madrone]

25. That would be GREAT -

Except I have a ton of work to do at the office tomorrow - then have to leave at lunch to drive 1.5 hours to my first rheumatologist appointment, I'll get home late tomorrow evening and have a million things to do because I'm packing up 2 dogs and (maybe) 2 cats to drive 4.5 hours across state where my dog will have major EXPENSIVE surgery and I have to stay there all week AND try to get some work done in our office over there to help offset some of the time off AND to get mileage for the whole trip which will be a huge financial help...and I feel like shit with no energy and am in lots of pain.

And there's my big poor me whinefest laid out for all to see - but I am so seriously at my limit right now and and having a hard time dealing with everything as it is.

THEN there's the whole "Well it's JUST a cat" crap I'm sure I'll have to contend with.... :cry:

Yeah, I know what you mean and I REALLY appreciate the sentiment ... I just don't see how it's going to work. :(

[truedelphi]

27. Oh shit - that sounds nasty.

But whine away here with us, we understand. I can't think of any element tht you are not struggling with - okay KNOCKING ON WOOD - your car seems to be working all right! But you are clearly engaging in a mythological struggle just to do your normal life.

I hope that your dog appreciates what you are doing for him or her.

Beams and keep us all in the loop.

[Madrone]

30. You just made me laugh through the tears....

I DO still have a sense of humor, after all!

But what you didn't know was that I spent the entire day Thursday trapped in a dealership 1.5 hours from home - gone 12 full hours from the time I left the house until the time I returned - to be told that yes indeed, my new car IS leaking oil AGAIN and I have to bring it back not this week but the week after and leave it while they try and figure out what the problem is.

So, I nailed the car problem issue too! :P

[grasswire]

31. how about this?

How about taking kitty with you to the veterinarian who is doing the dog surgery and having him put to sleep there? They could handle the cremation and have the ashes sent to you. In either event, it sounds like bad timing for Othello to be so sick. Couldn't you have him put to sleep before you go? It seems cruel to take him on that long trip when he's at the end.

Perhaps someone else could be with him tomorrow and have a vet come to the house to let him go?

[grasswire]

21. maybe you should prepare now

It's really no fun to handle a pet after the body has gone cold. It's better to have a small box ready to receive it, and a cloth of some kind. I cut up an old flannel nightgown and wrapped Chester in it when he passed, and included a little lock of my hair too. And I trimmed a bit of his tummy hair and keep it in a tiny silver box as a remembrance. I buried him in a planter that I could take with me when I moved. He's still there, literally pushing up daisies. It's very comforting. That was five years ago, and I still miss him every day.

[Madrone]

28. That is a wonderful idea.

Thank you SO much. I wouldn't have thought about that until after the fact.

I plan on having him cremated and finding the perfect urn to place him in. As a renter I can't see burying him in the yard of a house I won't be in forever, and he's my first real pet - there will always be a place for him in my curio cabinet.

[Digit]

29. Our animals sometimes continue to stay with us in spirit

I know of more than one person who has felt their animal jump on the bed or couch, but they were unable to see it.

This is one thing which gives ME comfort as I also have an older cat which was given a death sentence a few years ago with mammary cancer. She ended up beating it, which amazed the vet. She had been given only a few months to live and that was 3 years ago.
I am totally attached to this little kitty and can't imagine life without her.
She has issues now and then, but seems to bounce back.
She loves nothing better than to be in my arms with her paws around my neck, while nuzzling my ear.
I just discovered she has a urinary tract infection, which I can hardly afford to treat, but I will find a way.

Our pets love us unconditionally, and we have to do what we have to do.

I wish you both the best, peace.

[LeftyMom]

32. Last time I went through it, it was very fast.

He was thirteen, and had never been very healthy, always kinda skinny and prone to eye infections and such- he'd started out a runt, then was homeless for a bit, and never really caught up. Anyhow, one morning his breathing was distressed, his tongue out and panting really hard. We called the e-vet to tell them we were on our way, but before we could get him to the car it was clear that he was on his way out, so the kid's dad (he was his cat from kittenhood, he'd found him out in the snow back in Ohio, poor thing) just held onto him until it was over, and then we called the e-vet back to let them know he didn't need to come in after all.

He might want you there, or he might want to go off by himself. Just follow his cues.

[Dangerously Amused]

33. Oh honey.

:cry: :hug:

[terrya]

35. I also think you might want to prepare now.

Your kitty sounds like what happened with mine before she passed away. I took her to the vet the day she passed away...she had fluid in her lungs, a cancerous growth was detected. She was 16 when she started developing breathing problems. The vet told me that I should consider putting her to sleep. They gave me some medicine and I took her home and that night...she passed away. I think she knew she was ready to go.

I am so sorry to hear about your loving kitty. This is a sad week...besides yours and Lavender Brown's kitties, a friend of mine had to have his cat put to sleep this weekend.

My best thoughts and prayers to your sweet kitty.

:hug:

[noel711]

36. Madrone, call the vet now...

I went thru this with my 17 year old NOel a month ago.

Do not allow your dear baby to suffer anymore...

renal failure is devastating. There is no peaceful end to this on its own.

Call the vet now, set up an appointment to help kitty pass,

and wrap kitty up and let peace take him home.

It's not about you...its about taking responsibility.

It's awful to go thru this, but give him the gift of peace.

And then go home and grieve. Love gives us the dignity of peace.

[PermanentRevolution]

39. I agree with this...

I had to go through it with my Jerrie about a year and a half ago, and reading this has made it feel like it was yesterday again.

He had a slowly-debilitating liver condition that I couldn't afford treatment for. At first I wanted to let him pass on naturally because he just hated the vet so much and I didn't want his last memory to be of a place that made him scared.

But I couldn't do it. Weeks went by and he just got weaker and weaker until I finally realized how much I was hurting him by keeping him here.

He couldn't walk, couldn't eat, he lost control of his functions, and he kept snuggling up to me so I could make it better, but I couldn't. It was horrible to go through, such a feeling of helplessness.

In the end, I decided that keeping him here just because I didn't want him to go was far crueler and more selfish of me than taking him to the vet and helping him along.

He was my first real pet, raised from a kitten, and he made it to 17. I'd had him over half my life, through some of the best and some of the worst, and seeing him go was probably the most painful moment of my life, but I know it was right because his suffering was over.

I'm so sorry you're going through this - it's a horrible, helpless feeling, but you have to do what's best for them. Ask yourself if they're still enjoying being here, or if it's become a burden instead of a blessing, and if the answer is the same as mine was, find the strength do the right thing.

We owe them that much.

I'm gonna go cry now.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

37. We have had two dying cats

Fergus died naturally in my arms at age 19. A day or two before he went he started meowing very oddly - his normal meow was raspy, but he started doing a plaintive "mow-wow" and looking at me almost pleadingly. He also got very weak and kept falling over as he tried to walk. I stayed up all night with him when it appeared the end was near - he mostly slept and got agitated when I moved him around, so I just let him be. He just went away - I saw his last breath, and his little head just flopped back and he was gone.

We had our Simba put to sleep last July 1st. He was staring into space and crying out occasionally. I put him in bed with me, wrapped in a towel. We decided to take him in that Sunday morning. I didn't put him in a carrier - I just carried him in my arms, still wrapped in his towel. He was breathing very rapidly and looked very agitated. At the animal hospital they wouldn't even let us be in the room with him - they said it looked like he was getting ready to die and whisked him away to administer the drugs.

This situation is never easy - it's just agonizing, and there's no way around the pain. We grieve so deeply because we love so deeply. I wish you and your kitty peace.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

38. Sad. I feel for you.

Probably best to go to a vet and see if anything could be done. I'm not one to suggest all the options coming from that visit, but the vet might, so be prepared.

The last cat my family had lived to about 15 or so. During her life, she was a very large cat because she used to belong to my grandmother (before she passed away) and my grandmother fed her....amply. I was away at college towards the end of her life, and I remember in the fall my parents telling me she had apparently suffered something of a stroke. When I came back home during winter break, I was shocked at how skinny and weak she was. The worst part was that our family had planned a trip around New Years but it was becoming more and more clear that she was in her last days. And as the trip came closer and closer, we were forced to deliberate whether we could trust someone to care for her in the interim, whether we should postpone our trip, or whether we should make the very difficult decision to put her down.

As it turned out, the night before we had been scheduled to leave, she passed quietly in her sleep in my sister's arms. It was very sad, but I am glad we were spared the difficult choice of having to take her to the vets, and that everything happened naturally.

On the other hand, I once was housesitting for my friend's family and was charged to take care of their cat. Unbeknownst to me, their cat had some major thyroid problems. When I got there, I was shocked how frail and weak this cat looked. It must have not weighed more than 1 or 2 pounds. I was very scared that this cat would not make it through until my friend's family returned from their trip. Amazingly, the cat survived their trip, but even more amazingly, the cat survived for another 1 or 2 years beyond that. So sometimes things are more than meet the eye.

I would probably ask a vet to see if anything can possibly be done for your cat. Anything beyond that point....well that is something that unfortunately is up to you.

[BarenakedLady]

40. Any update?

Thinking of you and kitty today.

:hug:

[Lavender Brown]

41. I'm sorry... I just went through this with mine

We knew it was time because she was lethargic and becoming less and less responsive. Whatever you decide, :hug:

[tigereye]

42. I would call your vet and see what they can do...

:hug:

[Madrone]

43. UPDATE - It's all over.

Othello had his last car ride this morning. At least that made him happy. :cry:

[BarenakedLady]

44. I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[Inchworm]

45. So sorry Madrone

You are in my thoughts :(

:hug:

[Flaxbee]

46. oh, Madrone

I'm so sorry. :hug: :hug:

Remember, you helped him leave with dignity, and in your company.

Had you called the vet, and this was what was recommended? Or did you just know that it was time?

[Madrone]

48. I took him to the vet this morning.

Last night I took him to bed with me - he wanted no part of that and wanted to be left alone in the bathroom. I complied. I checked him this morning and he was still breathing oddly and had still no interest in food. He did drink some water during the night though.

When I went to the vet it was at toss up - but the vet said that how he was now was probably the best he'd ever be again - and that wasn't so good. He was put to sleep - it was very quick.

[Critters2]

68. I'm so sorry! I know how hard this is, but you did the right thing.

:hug:

Oh, and sorry I didn't see this before replying to the OP. I do hope you're doing alright. :hug:

[Haole Girl]

47. How sad

Wish there was something I could say or do to help.

:hug:

[sammythecat]

49. That's really sad.

I'm sorry for both of you, but it's good that it's over now.

I've gone through the same, and will again.

I wish the world was different. There's too much pain and not enough joy. Things like this make me think of that and make me mad, but it's good to hear of people like yourself who have a kind heart. It really is.

[PeaceNikki]

50. :(

I'm so sorry!! :cry: :hug:

[huskerlaw]

51. I'm so sorry

Losing an animal is intensely painful. But you did the right thing for him.

:hug:

[Lautremont]

52. Sorry to hear it.

I've had to do this before, and I'm starting to dread that I'll have to again - I have an aging and ill kitty also.

Sorry.

[noel711]

53. Dear Brave Madrone... You did the merciful thing...

Yes, that last car ride was happy...
So it was for my Noel.. on that last car ride she purred all the way over.
It was like she knew.

You did the right thing, you took care of your baby.
Now he's free.
You'll cry a lot; it'll be a while before you can smile.
But you were brave and merciful and loving.

There will be vast loneliness for a while.
Sometimes you'll think you feel something rubbing your legs..
or someone lying on your bed in the night,
or maybe a phantom 'meow' from nowhere.
He's just letting you know he's okay, and you will be too.

We haven't got a new kitty yet; I'm not ready for a replacement,
but my husband is yearning for a new one to love.

I'll know when it's okay, and so will you.

Oh, one more thing:
when you do get a new kitty, post the photos for us..
we want to rejoice with you.

[Madrone]

55. I won't be getting a new kitty for a long while.

I have 2 remaining - all obtained about a year apart from one another. The dog would LOVE another kitty (mine weren't too thrilled by the dog coming into our lives) that would grow up and snuggle with him, but the 2 cats would likely not be as accepting. :)

[Lorien]

61. I wish that I lived nearby

my kitten Pip ADORES dogs, but I don't have the time for one. He already goes on "play dates" with the neighbors kittens, but I'd love for him to find a cat loving dog friend to play with too.

It sounds like you have a wonderful fur family there.

:hug:

[terrya]

54. I'm so sorry, Madrone.

Othello was able to be happy for one last time. With his loved one.

:hug:

[Lorien]

58. So sorry Madrone. You did the right thing

My father and stepmother had a cat, Pippin, who they were both just crazy for. He also had kidney failure at about age 16. They tried everything they possible to save him, but nothing could be done. They couldn't bring themselves to have him put down, even when he was in really bad shape. One morning they awoke and he was howling in pain. They rushed him to the vet to have him put down at last-he was screaming by the time they had him in the car. They felt awful for having waited for so long and cried for days and days afterwards.

When my kitty Jasper went through the same thing I took him for that last car ride when he was in the same state you described in your OP. I hated doing it, but I would never want any pet of mine to get to the state Pippin had been in. You saved Othello form some horrible suffering, and that was a very kind and brave thing to have done. He was very lucky to have had you as his person. :hug:

[Madrone]

60. Aw, thanks.

He was SO happy to be going to the car. He was even content at the vet. Let them shave his arm without complaint - seemed curious. It didn't cry until they put the needle in...but by then it was almost over. :(

35 years old and I've never had to do anything like that before. Don't want to do it again, but I know it's inevitable. I'm glad he loves riding in the car, it was a treat for him instead of a trauma in his last moments. I'm also glad he wasn't screaming in pain like you mentioned. :( That would be horrible.

I will miss the shit out of that cat.

[driver8]

65. I am so sorry for your loss.

It's not fair that our pets don't live as long as we do...

[mwdem]

69. So sorry, Madrone.

I have three cats right now, have had cats all my life. It's never easy, and this was a tough one, I know. I'm glad it's over for Othello, and I know he will always be a part of your life. He will always love you. You will remember him for tbe rest of your life. What a sweet fellow! And what a great life he had.:hug: :cry:

[lizziegrace]

70. Awww...I'm so sorry

:(

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

72. I'm so sorry.

:(

[myrna minx]

74. I am so sorry.

I know how heartbreaking it is to lose a fur baby. :hug:

[Madrone]

56. Here's a pic of Othello kicking it on top of Mount David....

He was very funny - always wanted to lay on Dave when he was visiting.

[Flaxbee]

57. Great photo!

Othello had a wonderful life with you :hug: From everything I've read, you really go the extra miles for your companion animals. I'm sorry you're hurting right now.

[GOPisEvil]

62. I'm gonna miss that sweet, litte cat.

:cry:

I know it was a tough, tough decision, but I think you made the right call.

It still sucks. :(

[alstephenson]

64. I'm so sorry for your loss of Othello.

He looks just like my Shadow! Shadow is about 14 years old and still hanging in there. I've had him since he was a kitten. I lost two beloved kitties over the last couple of years, but losing Shadow will be horrible - I can't bear to think about it.

[Haole Girl]

71. Aww

That is a sweet pic. :hug:

[ceile]

59. So sorry Madrone

I made the same decision on Friday. It's never easy, but it's for the best. :hug:

[truedelphi]

63. What a rough week for you.

Sorry that it is all piling on at once.

Othello's pix show him to be a beauty. I send my hopes that things smooth out for the rest of the week, and that the dog's surgery goes smoothly.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

66. RIP, Othello.

:hug:

[Critters2]

67. So, so, sorry.

:hug:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

73. Oh, I'm so sorry

He was so beautiful. I know how much you are hurting now. Just know that he's not suffering anymore - but now you'll be suffering. RIP to your beautiful beastie.

[applegrove]

75. ((((Madrone)))) Sending your cat vibes.