I need help. How do you tell someone....

GirlinContempt

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Tue Jun-03-08 12:23 PM
Original message

I need help. How do you tell someone....

their boyfriend stinks and they need to do something about it?

I have a new room mate, whom I in general adore, and have known for many years. She, however, has a new boyfriend. There have been a few incidents. But right now, my big issue is that he smells. Really, really bad.

I like things to smell nice. Weird, coming from a smoker, but there you go. Bad food smells, mildew smells, etc I just can't deal with, I must eradicate them. And, #1 on my list of smells I can't cope with is overpowering B.O.

This guy. Is the second. Smelliest. Guy. Ever. (in my experience).

He comes over frequently, and I generally just retreat in to the other end of the apartment with an oil burner or some incense (my favorite smells like a mix of a bamboo forest and freshly cut grass... neither here nor there, really). But, last night, it was... intolerable. If I was able to walk, I would have left. Seriously.

The smell filled the entire apartment. I tried to go in to the kitchen just to get a drink, and I gagged. I discreetly asked my room mate to burn some incense and/or open the window. She said sure, and asked "Why, does it smell in here?" I looked at her, dumbfounded, and just said yes. I didn't go in to details.

I don't know *how* to go in to details. I can't believe she doesn't smell it. It's SO OVERPOWERING. Other people have smelled it, and said something. When I had people over on the weekend, I had to basically air out the whole apartment and use three different scented things before I wouldn't be horrified to bring them in. Her room.... I can't go in there. Even if he hasn't been over for three + days, I just can't go in to her room, it lingers so much. I had to buy leather cleaner for my couch because he permiates the leather with his stank.

So, I think pretty clearly, it's getting to a point where something has to be said. Or done. I can't keep spending all this money to de-stink-afy my apartment 2 or 3 times a week, I can't keep hiding in my room with a fan blowing out the door. I can't keep asking hours in advance if he's coming over so I can get everything I need from the other end of the place before he's there.

Honestly, I'm not over-dramatizing. I know that I'm more sensitive than normal to smells like that, but my friend who came to our party a couple of weeks back said something. This friend can't smell anything. He's like, nose blind. He used to DOUSE himself in cologne cause he couldn't smell that it was too much. He couldn't smell the hog plant when we drove past a couple of times. He is not a really smell-sensitive person, but it's the first thing he said to me the next day.

This is a very long story. But, I don't know how to handle it. I'm not sure if there really is a polite way to say "Your boyfriend stinks and I can't cope with his stench anymore". And, even if I *DO* say something, what can I reasonably expect her to do about it?

I don't want to end up pissing her off. Him.... not as concerned about, but I don't relish the idea of doing it either. I'm a pretty straightforward person, I don't usually have that much trouble spitting things out, but this is... hard.

Help? Please?

(I wont post any more details but if you think you need them, you can PM me)