I'm having girl problems. Any advice?

[Cant trust em]

So here's the story. I got asked out by this girl last week. We went out to a museum on Sunday. We were there for about three hours and then went out for a drink afterwards. All in all, it was about a five hour date. Things went really well. She told me how glad she was that she asked me out and that even though I'm going to be gone for the next two months, to call her when I get back. The kiss was good and she asked me if I wanted to go out again. I called her on Tuesday to confirm our date Wednesday and she didn't call me back.

What is going on?

She is a doctor, so maybe she got called into something and didn't get a chance to call me back. But either way I think that the ball is in her court so I don't think I'll be calling her until she calls me.

What should I do?

[Richardo]

1. I'm thinking that if you called a physician a 'girl' to her face she may be reconsidering....

...but yeah, ball's in her court.

[Cant trust em]

4. I'm 28 and she's 26.

She started med school at 19. I doubt that I crossed that line with her.

[mainegreen]

2. Call her every five minutes and leave heaving breathing on her voicemail.

Also: ignore my advice.

[Lyric]

3. Doctors get a bit more leeway in the "returning calls" department, I think.

Since they basically give up their Real Lives for the sake of their calling. Give her a call again--she might just be exhausted, over-worked, and brain-dead from it all.

:hug:

[bigwillq]

5. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

She could've gotten busy with work. No need to burden her with calls or e-mails asking her why she hasn't called. I would wait for her to call. If she doesn't, then you know it wasn't meant to be. If she does, I wouldn't bring up her not calling you back. See what she has to say and then go with the flow.

[Runcible Spoon]

6. well, either she's: busy or suddenly not interested

If you have her email, email her something brief and casual.

I wouldn't call her until a week has gone by. At that point, you're basically calling her to get closure on why you got blown off.

But who knows, doctors are hella busy. On the other hand, I personally can't wait to call people I like for dates.

This one could go either way, be patient/cautiosly optimistic but don't put too muhc emotional stock in one date.

[redqueen]

7. It's only been a couple days and you've only been out once...

I suggest trying to relax, and just waiting to see what happens. :)

[Cant trust em]

21. Here's what the new Arsenal home kit looks like.

I don't like it.



- CTE

[redqueen]

22. Yeah... I don't either.

Bah. x(

[ghostsofgiants]

8. I feel bad for you, son.

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

[Cant trust em]

9. At this point in my life, this is the biggest problem I have.

I'm quitting my job to travel for the next two months. How bad could my life be?

:party:

[ghostsofgiants]

10. I just couldn't resist the Jay-Z reference based on the subject line.

[Cant trust em]

11. I've only got one problem, and she is it.

Other than that, I'm peachy keen.

But I am going to have to find a new job/apartment when I get back. That's going to be a pain in the ass.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

12. Holy shit, that's awesome.

:rofl:

[ghostsofgiants]

16. Haha, great, is it not?

Checkit: http://www.jamphat.com/rap/

[bicentennial_baby]

26. zOMG....my favorite:

:rofl:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

57. Oh shit, you just made my day.

I can't stop laughing at this one:



:rofl:

Oh, BTW, have you seen that documentary "Scratch"?

[ghostsofgiants]

58. I haven't. I've been meaning to for ages but completely forgot.

I DID, however, see Rock The Bells last weekend. So good.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

59. You should check it out.

Good stuff.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

14. That is so fucking funny

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
Thank you for that - I needed it!

[ghostsofgiants]

18. I posted a link to a bunch more above.

Enjoy!

[AlCzervik]

17. Win!

[MissMillie]

13. give her another call (if you're still interested in her)

Leave another message if you don't get to speak w/ her. Let her know that you're aware that she could be very busy, but that you're still interested. Tell her that if she'd like to see you again, she just needs to call.

You could also add that if she's not interested anymore, it'd be helpful for you to know you shouldn't be waiting for her call.

[Cant trust em]

19. You people are no help at all.

Mixed advice is killing me. Isn't there a handbook for this crap?

I guess I'll e-mail her in a few days. I know that she's out of town next week and I won't see her for two months before that. I guess I can wish her a good time back with her family and I'll get in touch with her when I get back into town.

[RadiationTherapy]

24. Travel is a great way to meet new people.

Put her on the back burner and go have some adventures. Your adventures, ironically, will make you even more interesting and attractive. Wait for her to call you; she's got your message already.

[petronius]

15. I almost didn't ask my wife out for a third time, after she broke 2 dates

The ball was in her court, after all. However, I changed my mind, and the third time was the charm.

If you want to spend time with her, I suggest you go ahead and call - she'll make it clear if she doesn't want to hear from you...

[pitohui]

20. i would make one more call because i myself don't always get my voicemails

i wonder how many messages and voicemails your friend, a doctor, gets, real easy to miss one i should think!

i would call back one more time or at least email one more time before dumping her

on occasion i have not gotten a voicemail until a week after it was sent, gee, thanks verizon!

[redqueen]

23. Oh good point...

I forgot about that... missed messages.

[RadiationTherapy]

25. Even if she did miss it. Another message that says "in case you didn't get my last message for some

reason" already sounds pathetic.

Pathetic = teh not attractives.

[Cant trust em]

27. That's pretty much where I am.

I've put extra effort into dating thinking that all they want is for me to "pursue". I hate having to give so much power to someone else. I don't want to feel like a chump.

[RadiationTherapy]

29. Yeah; don't. All you can do is express your interest. She knows and she's thinking.

You had a 5 hour date; she knows who you are and how to get in touch.

When you are gone: Postcards only, with your number. No calls. You will not call because you are "having the time of your life".

I know it is a bit manipulative, but I find the "I can take it or leave it" method works with a high success rate. "Works" and "success" being relative terms, of course.

[Cant trust em]

31. My plan is an e-mail.

I'll just wish her fun on her trip and tell her that I'll talk with her when I get back in town...in two months.

[RadiationTherapy]

34. Try to get an addie for postcards. Postcards are cheap and fun to receive. nt

[Cant trust em]

38. In order to get an address, wouldn't I have to make a phone call?

Therein lies the rub.

[RadiationTherapy]

40. Well, if you are sending an email you can ask that way.

You can also send it c/o her place of work, but that has risks as well. I think it is cool to get personal mail c/o my work.

[Cant trust em]

42. I think that sending it to her work would be even trickier.

It's a hospital, so I'm sure I'd need a building code or a department or something like that.

A postcard from Zanzibar or Dar-es-Salaam would be pretty cool though.

[RadiationTherapy]

46. Bah! Send it there with her name on it and they will feel obligated to get it to her.

Address it to : Name Name, miracle doctor of ______. Or something clever as such.

Creativity is a major aphrodisiac.

[Cant trust em]

49. You know, for someone whose initial advice was essentially "let it be"

you're pretty creative all of the sudden. I think that an e-mail from my exotic locale with pictures should suffice.

[RadiationTherapy]

51. Oh, yeah, I kind of got into it...I am married now, so my skills go less appreciated.

I just meant to express that I think postcards are cooler than emails. No mas. g.

[Cant trust em]

52. Well if you're married then you must have some wooing skills.

A postcard would be pretty cute. Everyone likes getting one of those.

[RadiationTherapy]

54. I think: One is either trying to stand out from the crowd, or not...nt

[Mutley]

35. That's the problem with any of this advice.

Some women will want you to pursue and seem eager. Others will want distance. Then everyone else falls somewhere in between.

Just do what seems natural to you. If this girl doesn't appreciate that, then someone else will one day.

[pitohui]

28. so it's up to her to be psychic and know by magic the guy wants HER to call?

no wonder in a world where females out number males, there are still single men out there!

if she thinks he's pathetic because of ONE or TWO calls, then she's too high maintenance anyway, information well worth the learning in my humble view

i think a man has to show some minimal amount of courage, if it's all about his fear of rejection, then yeah he's going to have girl problems, no doubt about it, fortune favors the bold

[RadiationTherapy]

30. Meh. They had a date. He called and left a message.

This whole "maybe she didn't get my message" just reeks of insecurity. Even if she didn't get the message, she's grown enough to call him if she enjoyed herself on her date.

Being single is not always an undesirable state.

[Cant trust em]

32. I don't think having her return my call is too much to ask.

I took the initiative and I didn't hear back. So I'm supposed to call her back again just to make sure she got my call? Maybe next week.

[rockymountaindem]

45. I agree

I think too many people just hide behind voice mail. It's easy to ignore messages, and I think it's very rude. If she doesn't want to go out with you again, she can do one of two things. She can keep ignoring you (if that's what she's doing) and be immature and rude, or she could say "sorry, you're not my type" and get it overwith. What's so hard about that? I hope she calls you with good news though.

[Cant trust em]

48. The whole thing is weird because she wasn't just giving me signs

She was flat out telling me that she was glad she asked me out. That she wanted to see me again and the goodbye hug was a serious pull in and squeeze, which prompted me to smooch her. She even asked me to come inside, which I politely declined. She had a pretty stiff martini and mentioned that she was pretty tipsy, so I didn't want to go down that path.

[rockymountaindem]

50. I'm no expert

but considering that I don't think she'd be put off if you called again.

[Cant trust em]

53. That probably makes sense.

I got all of the green lights from her, so a second phone call shouldn't kill me. If it does, then that's her problem.

[LeftyMom]

33. For starters, she's a doctor, so she's too old to be called a girl.

I don't know if that sort of thinking causes your "girl problems" or not, but it's a bad sign.

[Cant trust em]

36. 26 is too old?

I don't know, that seems iffy.

[RadiationTherapy]

39. Well, "girl" can sound diminutive, but I lack any other word that captures the casual essence of it.

[Cant trust em]

41. I've dated "women", but the female I'm talking about feels more like "girl"

We're in that weird late twenties stage between youth and real adulthood. Strange.

[RadiationTherapy]

43. I understand; it is really a individual thing and not a line we cross in time or anything.

I mean, technically, a 13 year old is not really a girl/boy anymore (in my book). I would take care to discover how she feels about it, though.

[Cant trust em]

44. Fortunately, I don't imagine this coming up in regular conversation.

I can't imagine a reason that I'd have to call her "girl" to her face.

[RadiationTherapy]

47. Oh, yeah. No problems then! nt

[LeftyMom]

55. If she's old enough to draw a paycheck and live on her own, she's a woman.

A girl is a child.

[Cant trust em]

56. I guess that makes me a man then.

I've always seen myself more as a guy.

That seems to be the phrase used in dating, so if there's an opposite that I can use for women, then I'll use it.

[RadiationTherapy]

37. At least he didn't ask for help "getting a girl". I really dislike the "getting" word. nt