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Edited on Tue Jun-10-08 02:31 PM by eyepaddle
This goes back to a thread I posted a couple of weeks ago. And I have to admit, it is a much bigger source of mental trauma than one would expect. I think I have a new appreciation for the internal struggles of those where the body and the nature don't quite match. Granted my situation isn't as socially loaded as say, the transgendered, but if this weighs this heavily on me, well my mind recoils at what some others have had to deal with.
It has always been something I've kind of suspected, I use my left hand for almost all unthinking activities (shaving, tooth brushing, eating, etc.) and am only right handed for activities which required a lot of practice, like writing and throwing a ball.
Here is a bit more back ground: nobody forced me to switch, I just did that on my own when I was very young. It seems that the best research I can find (from a lady named Sattler if you want to google it) suggests that natural ambidexterity is always the result of perinatal oxygen deprivation, and can often result in children being confused about which hand is the dominant one. I don't want to go into any personal medical history, but let it suffice to say that perinatal complications were almost a likelihood in my case. And up to about the second or maybe even third grade, I would use both hands to write and draw (left hand for the left side of the paper, right hand for the right). I can only say for sure that I learned to tell the difference between my right and left by third grade.
After thinking a lot about this topic for the last two or three weeks the best conclusion I can come to is that I am sort of naturally adaptable and a moderate left hander (there are degrees of handedness). I wanted to be like my big brother, (and pretty much everybody else) and be right handed, and since I couldn't tell the difference my natural left handedness didn't really assert itself strong enough to overwhelm the social pressure.
After three weeks of rather obsessive practice my writing is almost indistinguishable from my right hand, and throwing isn't as hard as I might have thought.
But here is where the crisis started: the realization that I fucked up 33 years ago and am only uncovering it know is not a pleasant one, and then the crisis of what do I do now that I know, chalk it up as spilled milk and move on, or make the switch back?
It is really easy to doubt yourself and worry about trying and failing to re-convert, as it is to think that just maybe I am nuts, and I am a natural righty (albeit a confused one). It doesn't help me that my SO is a lefty and I am worried that she might not believe this has nothing to do with her (but I would welcome her support and maybe a few tips on how to live as a lefty)
Also for the record, lest we incur the wrath of the mods, I am not looking for medical advice or any thing like that, I just wonder what other people might do if they found themselves in this situation.
Thanks to all who have made it this far into my post!
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