I need interesting job titles

[graywarrior]

I have to do Table Topics tonight. Purpose is to have participants choose a job title that I write on an index card, explain what they are and why it's the perfect job for them. I want to use some creative ones instead of the standard "Commercial Pilot, Cab Driver" stuff.

[Chan790]

1. Capacity Builder. n/m

[graywarrior]

3. What the fuck is it?

LOL

[Chan790]

11. A catch-all job title of the NPO sector...

it means anybody engaged in a vital task requiring two or more competencies not related to the purpose of the organization thus freeing up resources and staff to perform the central work of the organization.

I was a "capacity builder" when I worked for a local literacy organization doing all the: PR/development/writing/event-planning/editing/paper shuffling/computer-geekery...

that is...my work allowed the literacy people to do the literacy work while I kept the ship upright. I don't actually know anything specific about literacy efforts or education.

[Pierre.Suave]

12. I think I had that job once

when I was the Intern on a political campaign.

[graywarrior]

17. Wow....

I think I may have been the same thing when I worked for a non-profit a few years ago

[madinmaryland]

34. In other words, it's a position that no one has a clue what the person

is doing, but the person is getting paid a lot of money to do it!!1!!

[Chan790]

37. No...usually the person doing all the work...

in his/her first post-college job and making $21K/year. I made $9,900 plus $5K education award to pay my student loans.

[DS1]

2. Instruction Complicator

[redqueen]

4. The Job of Journalism

[lost-in-nj]

5. Enviromental Engineer

aka
maids etc.


lost

[Callalily]

6. Useless Project Facilitator! n/t

[graywarrior]

8. That's my title!

[Callalily]

13. And I bet you're damned

good at it too - LOL! :)

[graywarrior]

15. I am....

ask anyone!
*snort*

[Callalily]

16. I would, but they are

probably overwhelmed with all the projects you give them, and don't have time to chat! :rofl:

[graywarrior]

18. BAH!

So true, which brings to my attention the gardeners who are now lollygagging because we are having severe thunderstorms....they need a project, you know....busy work.

[mainegreen]

7. Federal Liquidity Distributions Agent.

[jobycom]

9. My dad was a worm farmer, so we shoveled, you know, for a living.

He also worked offshore for a while, and one of my favorite job titles (he never held it) was roustabout.

Aside from that, any title you can work the word "liaison" in is interesting. Foreign affairs liaison, corporate government relations liaison, hospitality liaison.

[graywarrior]

14. Very interesting

Thank you!

[hobbit709]

10. Went to a computer trade show once

I listed my title as "Bozo-In-Charge"

[graywarrior]

19. I think I worked for you a few times

[TZ]

20. Director of functional excellence!

But no, I don't really know what the job entails except for going around bugging the lab techs about why cells couldn't grow faster and more efficiently...:banghead:

[Chan790]

21. What are the qualifications?

I could so do that for a living.

"Is it done yet?"
"How about now?"
"Now?"
"Okay...I'll be back later."
"Is it done yet?"
"How about now?"
"Now?"
"Okay...I'll be back later."
"Is it done yet?"
"How about now?"
"Now?"
"Okay...I'll be back later."
"Is it done yet?"
"How about now?"
"Now?"
"Okay...I'll be back later."

:freak:

[TZ]

22. lol

put in the ability to speak corporatese with out an ounce of scientific knowledge and you got the job.....:rofl:

[Chan790]

25. Well we know my science knowledge is unsound...

I confuse dead physicists with living biologists who moonlight as philosophers.

I can do one better than corporate-speak. I can speak gibberish and make it convincing...or at least sound like intelligent discourse. I mean that's what I get for think-storming new paradigms of opportunital-excellence existing outside the box. Everybody knows that science results derived outside of focus-groups and biblical-study are less-valid logic-bombs. I can't grok all your theories anyways, so we'll have to sunshine-up the results. Just remember...positive-think your way to effectiveness in result and it'll be all good. I'm not just a task-guru cheerleader, I'm the opportunity park ranger.

[graywarrior]

26. You should be a comedian instead.

[billyskank]

23. Testicular hygienist.

[graywarrior]

29. Ha!

Using a toothbrush or water pik?

[billyskank]

24. Bean counter.

I actually caught my mum counting green beans on sunday.

[rug]

27. Fluffer.

Preparation of props for theatrical presentations.

[1gobluedem]

28. Assistant Vice President for Academic Success

After much questioning I learned it means student retention.

[datasuspect]

30. Vice President of Multimedia Synergies

[datasuspect]

31. Unicorn Wrangler

[graywarrior]

35. I'm using that!

:rofl:

[old mark]

32. Look in the DOT-there are some very odd real jobs there.

I worked a temp job as an Acid Handler once.

Made me nervous.


mark

[jakefrep]

33. Malt Beverage Flavor Assessor

Guru of Oenology

[graywarrior]

36. Love it!

[KamaAina]

38. Lei maker

you don't think the flowers grow on strings, do you?

From New Orleans: House leveler. Years before You-Know-What, the ground subsidence had become so severe that houses would sink slightly towards the center of the "bowl". Thus, the need to have people come and jack up the low side, so bowling balls don't roll across your living room floor. These are "house levelers". There's a heading for them in the NOLA Yellow Pages!

[KG]

39. Heartless Grave-Pisser.

Russert Hatah

[graywarrior]

40. Bwahahahahahahaha! OMG, that is the funniest one yet.