Comprehensive final exam

[pokerfan]

Final exam essay questions from Hell
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time Limit: 4 hours.

HISTORY
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

MEDICINE
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

PUBLIC SPEAKING
Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

BIOLOGY
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

MUSIC
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

PSYCHOLOGY
Based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

MANAGEMENT SCIENCE
Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

ENGINEERING
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

ECONOMICS
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

POLITICAL SCIENCE
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

EPISTEMOLOGY
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

PHYSICS
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

PHILOSOPHY
Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

*** EXTRA CREDIT ***

Define the universe; give three examples.

[Dr. Strange]

1. No Mathematics portion?

Screw this exam, I'm going home.

[pokerfan]

11. Math section

Your truck has different-sized tires than those it rolled on when it left the factory in 1965, and that, of course, throws off the speedometer and odometer. You want to see what kind of fuel mileage you're actually getting (and, while you're at it, an approximation of the number of miles actually on the chassis), but you need a conversion factor. You know that when the speedometer indicates 65 mph, you are actually doing about 61. What is the conversion factor?

[Dr. Strange]

12. I didn't have paper to write on, so here you go.

[Kutjara]

2. When I was in college...

...I'd regularly have dreams in which I had to sit exams like that.

My favorite nightmare, however, was one in which the examiner first gave a long speech about how, due to cheating in previous years, any talking at all during the exam, for any purpose, would mean an instant fail. He then instructed us to turn the exam paper over and begin. Of course, my copy was completely blank. It was then that I'd usually wake up screaming.

[Dr. Strange]

3. Submitted for your approval...

Kutjara is about to take his final exam. He's studied his ass off. But what he wasn't aware of, is that this course can only receive credit in...The Twilight Zone.

[Kutjara]

4. Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

I tell you, I had some of the worst nightmares of my life during exam time. Wandering the halls not being able to find the right room. Discovering that all the exams were unaccountably written in a foreign language I couldn't speak. Finishing an exam, only to see the ink slowly vanish from every page I'd written. The list goes on. And on.

Did I mention I really hate exams?

[Adsos Letter]

6. The ones that wake me up in a cold sweat...

involve suddenly realizing that the make-or-break assignment of my academic career is due tomorrow...and I forgot all about it...

:scared:


.

[pokerfan]

5. My nightmare

was that I'd forgotten that I'd registered for a class, had never attended a lecture or even opened the textbook. And the final is tomorrow.

In high school it was forgetting the combination to my locker.

[Kutjara]

8. Oh hell yes! I had that one, too!

And it was always some complicated math or science class that I didn't have a prayer of bluffing my way through.

I just had an involuntary shiver at the memory of that.

[Adsos Letter]

9. oh man...I've had those!

usually involving some form of algebra course...it shakes out that I realize that I stopped attending class or doing the homework...and the final is tomorrow...

:scared:

.

[UrbScotty]

7. Bush has already passed the Poli Sci one (nt)

[galledgoblin]

10. I have horrid exam nightmares with a mish-mash

of all that sucked of both elementary and high school.

I'm almost 23, will Mrs. M. and math on the board in front of the rest of the class ever stop haunting me?