Dialogue aboard the Number Nine with bonus limerick

[swag]

Man and woman board the Number 9 in Old Town, exhibiting all signs of a classic pimp-whore relationship. They sit in the sideways seat immediately in front of me (I am sitting in the very back seat on the right). He is talking reassuringly to her, saying something about how they're going to go see some movie, trying to get her to hold that bag of chips and a plastic to-go box of some sort of wide noodles.

Bus stops across Broadway Bridge where bus driver announces she's going to take a little 7-Eleven break and we're all welcome to join her.

Pimp suddenly turns around to me and says, "Can I borrow some change for my girlfriend? She's on heroin!"

"No," I say.

This reminds me of the best limerick that I've ever written, which is usually performed on my front porch with a drunken chorus chiming in on the "hoy hoy!" parts:

The money I made s**king c**ks (hoy hoy!)
Is mainly invested in stocks (hoy hoy!)
I s**ked on some c**ts
and bought some bonds once
But now I just mainly s**k rocks (hoy hoy!)

[Parche]

1. Hey Swager

I am glad I take the Westside MAX into downtown!!!!! :woohoo:

:hi:

[swag]

3. I like the bus for its gaminess. A friend reminds me of previous adventures posted elsewhere:

I apologize for use of the term "retarded."  If I
were to post this today, I would replace it with
"intellectually disabled."  Things were different
back in 1999, when everybody talked like a pre-Y2K
knuckle-dragging country fuck:



Date: Tue Jun 22 20:19:39 1999
From: pure corn will cure porn <swag>
Subject: Today

on the afternoon bus home, the usual crowd of high school
smart-asses and
the older working stiffs like me, plus the elderly, plus the
usual
retarded guy and his retarded girlfriend, 
except today they were both masturbating one another after
quite a crude fashion 
and the working stiff woman beside me was also beside herself
to her friend at the sight of the
cum on the retarded girlfriend's hand after the guy's
sweatshirt had been
taken away ex post handjob.  And then the retarded guy starts
rubbing his
big old butt into his retarded girlfriend's crotch in a most
rhythmic and
crude manner and the woman beside me is saying in the most
amusing manner
to her friend, "I must be mistaken.  I did not go to the
theater and pay
seven dollars and yet I am still withnessing these
things."

I should have upbraided the retarded man, or at least advised
him that the
bus is not the proper venue in which to spill one's sweet
jissom all over
the hand of one's girlfriend, what with the inevitable
collateral spillage
on seat and floor.  In spite of the fact of the poignance of
the couple's
interracialness.  Sweet jissom not for public bus.

------------

Date: Sat Feb 10 15:15:20 2001
From:   rm: remove ideals (yes/no)? y   <swag>
Subject: busjack

the retarded couple were sitting in the back of the bus again
today.
Again the guy was sitting on the girl's lap.  At one point,
she squirted
some lotion from a bottle onto her fingers and then slid her
hand down the
back of his pants.  It looked as though she was lubricating
his asscrack
and possibly his holy-O with her cooling ointment.  Then he
started
rhythmically jiggling his ass back against her crotch again. 
The woman in
the back seat with the little girl said something to them,
scooted away a
bit from them, made eye contact with me, and we bothed laughed
sort of
nervously.  When the bus reached the Lloyd center, the usual
array of high
school girls headed up north got on.  One who sat across from
me started
laughing hysterically at the show-couple, declaring repeatedly
to her
friends, "That's the ones I was telling you about!  She
puts her fingers
up his ass!  She puts her fingers up his ass, oh my god, oh my
god,"
falling off her seat from her laughter.

[Pierre.Suave]

2. Another good reason I do not ride the bus...

IN my car, the only person asking me for money is my Fiancee...

:rofl: