Scorpios will lie in a torpor until roused.

[DarkTirade]

Then it's a tossup as to whether they will make love to you all night long, or tear you limb from limb.

90% of the time we're all laid back, but the other 10% it's sheer passionate emotion.

[DarkTirade]

1. What, no fellow Scorpios on today?

Or are you too laid back to bother responding? :P

[qb]

2. egads... so true.

And watch out when you put two Scorpios together.
:evilgrin:

[DarkTirade]

3. I don't know if I could ever date another Scorpio.

Nothing would get done.

Well, except for sex.

But what good is one sex session a week?

Granted, it'll last the ENTIRE WEEK, but still... :P

[mikeytherat]

4. I'm a French-Sicilian Scorpio. Don't mess with me. Ever.

That is all.

mikey_the_rat

[DarkTirade]

7. And never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

:P

[mikeytherat]

17. Oh, and land wars in Asia? Fuhgeddaboutit.

mikey_the_rat

[MountainLaurel]

10. French Canadian-Italian Scorpio here

What he said.

:hi:

[nuxvomica]

32. French-Sicilian Scorpio here as well

Now I've said too much...

[Missy Vixen]

5. I'm a Leo with Scorpio rising

The world is mine. Everyone else just lives here.

:rofl:
Julie

[DarkTirade]

8. The important question now is...

are you single? :P

[Missy Vixen]

14. DarkTirade

If I wasn't married, you'd be number one on my list! ;-) :loveya:

Julie

[hobbit709]

6. All these astrological postings made me think of this song

The Man Who Got No Sign by Shel Silverstein

o-we-ha Gemini Jim taw Scorpio Salo
Taw sejno-nej-o-to-kono o-ha-na-shi-te-saw
There was Gemini Jim and Scorpio Sal they was livin' by the Golden Gate
Freezin' their nose and wearin' leather clothes and dealin' every way but straight
They had a Leo dog and a Capricorn cat and everything was goin' fine
Until into their life on a moonless night come the man who got no sign
He roared right in like some evil wind and he rolled himself a righteous smoke
As the thunder scrashed and the lightenin' flashed he took a toke and a spoke
Said he was born in an astrological warp when the stars refused to shine
On the cusp of Nowhere and Nevermore he's the man that got no sign
Then he told a story of an endless search to find his missin' part
And Scorpio Sal she smiles at him tries to do his chart
But the Pisces Ben who was Jim's best friend aaid man you must be blind
You better grab your knife and take the life of the man who'd got no sign
And so it happened and his blood run soaked the ground
The arrest was made by Sheriff Slade and Aquarius thru and thru
But the jailer was a Sagittarius so he beat Jim black and blue
And then they dragged him up to the courthouse stairs they said Jim how do you plea
He said man the moon's in Virgo so the blame don't fall on me
Well the jury all was the Libras so you know they was more than fair
But the lawyer was an Aries and an Aries just don't care
The judge he was a Cancer and Cancers have no friends
But the hungman was a Taurus and that's where the circle ends

[DarkTirade]

9. Weird Al did a pretty good horoscope song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIVeyTG9KB0
(might not want to watch because of lots of annoying flashing colors. Nothin' like bad fan-made videos done in Flash)

Aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a
speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a
day

Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound
watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go
back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's your horoscope for today

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a javelin through
your chest

Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in
the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's
test

Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's
face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of
strawberry Quik

Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stake

That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the
relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep
significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give
you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid,
scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not
to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

Where was I?

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than
you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts

next week

Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in
your den

Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know
they're lying
If I were you, I’d lock my doors and windows and never never never never never
leave my house again

That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's your horoscope for today

[GreenPartyVoter]

20. Yeah, it's a good one LOL

[flvegan]

11. Heh heh, yessss!

Scorpio, checking in.

[DarkTirade]

26. Somehow that totally doesn't surprise me.

At all. :)

[Phillycat]

12. We may tear your limb from limb WHILE f-ing you all night.

You never know. :D

[driver8]

13. How true, how true...

Fellow Scorpio, here! B-)

[DarkTirade]

21. True, I should have had an and/or, rather than just or.

:)

[RadiationTherapy]

15. Scorpios are very private. A lot of them read and don't post.

we are exceptional lovemakers though, aren't we? The exes just keep coming back for more.

We are also subtle and don't call out our own puns.

[DarkTirade]

22. I'll sometimes make a show of overexplaining a pun

making the explanation end up being the thing people laugh at rather than the pun itself. :P

[RadiationTherapy]

27. That is so deep and intense...

kidding, I just know how to compliment a scorpio.

[DarkTirade]

37. Aww shucks.

:blush:

:P

[WinkyDink]

16. November 5 here, baybay. And I'm Celtic-Sicilian!

[DarkTirade]

23. Me too!

Happy Guy Fawkes day on your next birthday!

And also happy day that Doc Brown invents time travel. :P

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

18. Scorpios never die a natural death, they are always murdered

... usually for a good reason.

I just hope mine is for a VERY good reason!
:rofl:

[DarkTirade]

24. Oh, I'm sure just one reason won't be enough for me...

:P

[Lyric]

19. I'm a Scorpio

...living in a Cancer's body. :P

[DarkTirade]

25. Yeah, most of the personality trait tests I take

end up having one question that could go either way and that one's the one that changes my score from Scorpio to Cancer. :P

[RadiationTherapy]

28. Scorpio is the only astro-archetype with 3 animal symbols.

the snake, the scorpion and the eagle.

[DarkTirade]

36. I think the scorpion is most appropriate though.

We've got thick skins. Takes a lot to get under them.

But when you manage that... well, then we've got claws and a nasty tail. :P

[Bear down under]

29. Double Scorpio here

Scorpio with Scorpio rising.

[DarkTirade]

33. Mental note: never get you pissed off or aroused.

Because you'll either *$&% me up, or *$&% me to death. :P

[MrScorpio]

30. Just try me

I dare you

[DarkTirade]

34. Dude, aren't you ex military?

I DEFINITELY don't wanna start a fight with you. Even though I'm another Scorpio, all I got is an orange belt in shoto-kan. :P

[Dangerously Amused]

31. What's a torpor? Isn't that a pig-like animal in South America?

Eeeew.

[DarkTirade]

35. No, that's a stupor.

A torpor is what you shoot out of a submarine.

[Dangerously Amused]

38. No, that's a speedo.

A stupor is the fake hair thing that men wear.

[DarkTirade]

39. I think you're thinking of the giant south american rodent known in legend as...

Tu Madre.

Tu Madre is known for sucking the marrow from the bones of small animals. In addition, the ground shakes when Tu Madre walks by. It is said that Tu Madre is an unholy beast, and to look into its eyes is to feel true fear for the first time.

[Dangerously Amused]

43. .

:cry:

[DarkTirade]

44. My spanish is a little rusty, I may have gotten it wrong.

Maybe Tu Madre was the name of that wrestler... damn. I just can't remember.

[reyd reid reed]

40. Meh...

I'll get back to you on that.

[DarkTirade]

45. I'll think of some witty response at some point.

[Generic Brad]

41. I'm in a prolonged torpor

Will no one poke me with a stick?

[DarkTirade]

42. Only someone brave enough to get close to that spikey tail.