Gather around boys & girls for today's valuable lesson: Elevator Etiquette

[LynneSin]

WAIT FOR THE DAMN PEOPLE TO GET OFF THE DAMN ELEVATOR BEFORE YOU COME RAMBARRELLING YOUR ASS ON TO THE ELEVATOR YOU SHITHEAD!!!

That is all for today's valuable lesson!

*** goes back to cleaning food off her shirt ***

[Phillycat]

1. I could not agree more.

And I work in a hospital! There are usually patients, with some degree of disability, trying to limp off the elevator, and the assholes are barreling on in. :grr:

[Fredda Weinberg]

2. In the subway, I won't hesitate: announce "Let them off first"

It works.

[Chan790]

3. You forgot:

*Don't fart on the express elevator to the top floors. That 3 minute ride in a 150 cu. ft. box with 4 other people and some asshole's gas is painful.

*Figure out which floor you're going to, then hit the button. I don't want to stop on 5,6,7, and 8 because you didn't realize you actually wanted 4.

*Just because you have a captive audience doesn't mean you should inquire about people's relationship with Jesus.

*Shouting "We're all going to die!" every time the doors close is just bad form.

*Don't hold the door while your co-worker runs back to print another copy of the entire 60-page report.

[LynneSin]

4. Can we have an elevator just for smokers who think they can cover their smoke smell w/ perfume

Try doing 20 floors with THAT odor!!

[Bake]

18. I had no idea you were a Smoke Nazi!!

Get on my elevator and I'm lighting one up just for you!!

:rofl:

Bake

[LynneSin]

22. I don't care if you light one up you shit-for-brains

Just down smoke it while pouring a liter of perfume all of you while you do it!

[Bake]

23. How about Old Spice?

Or maybe Hai Karate?

:rofl:

Bake

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

30. The smoke smell is a little annoying

But the overpowering perfume makes me feel sick, headachy for hours.

Sometimes I just get off the elevator at the next floor, wherever it is, and wait for another elevator.

The smell of smoke isn't as bad.

To me.

:hi:

[LynneSin]

32. You combine the 2 together and I'm a sneezy wreck the rest of the day

:scared:

[Darth_Kitten]

39. Don't, when you live on the 2nd floor, hit the next 20 floors buttons for fun....

get off on your floor only to have a little old lady get on. :evilgrin: :hide:

Not that I've ever done this of course. ;)

[In_The_Wind]

5. another good point

Don't fart when others are present.

that is all

[Bake]

34. I'm offended by farting in my general direction!

Plus, it's too damn hard not to bust out laughing.

:rofl:

Bake

[Starbucks Anarchist]

6. Same goes for the douchebags on the subway.

Hey, fuckers, the train's not gonna leave without you. It's not a goddamn spaceship.

[redqueen]

7. THANK YOU!

WTF how is that not common knowledge. I can't help going "ugh!" as I walk past the people who somehow don't get this seemingly *very* obvious bit of etiquette.

I hope it wasn't anything stainy they made you spill.

[Pierre.Suave]

8. "RAMBARRELLING"

HAHAHAHAH

:rofl:

[LeftinOH]

9. Also- if one is fortunate enough to work on the 2nd floor..and able-bodied,

consider using the stairs!

[LynneSin]

11. Even on other floors. If you're going from 18th floor to the 19th floor

and there are no disabilities that keep you from using the stairs - USE THE DAMN STAIRS.

Right now 2 flights are my limit, trying to do 3 flights

[RadiationTherapy]

10. It's never a fart post when I think it is going to be a fart post. nt.

[LynneSin]

13. Farts can be bad but not as bad as the BO or the Smokers who douse themselves in perfume

Seriously any smoker who reads this - we can smell the smoke so don't bother covering it with an entire bottle of some nasty smelling heavy perfume. It's just damn nasty!

[RadiationTherapy]

15. If you do want another odor, please consider a mild essential oil

like tangerine or mint...not musk, patchouli or sandlewood, please. Essential oil bottles are small and fit in your pocket.

[Bake]

24. Smokey Old Spice!

:rofl:

Did you have a bad experience in an elevator today?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Bake

[Bake]

36. for the record, I don't douse myself in perfume/cologne

Nor do I fart in the elevator. Unless nobody else is on it. But see, that gets dicey too, because somebody MIGHT get on at the next floor (before I get off) and if that happens they'd know it was me that farted. And that's embarassing!!

Bake

[Phillycat]

12. Also, when you get out of the elevator - KEEP MOVING. Don't just stand there!

Looking around, like a dumbass, while we're all trying to get off the elevator too. Same goes for escalators!

[Gormy Cuss]

21. Double for escalators!

The same applies to moving walkways at airports.

Hint: the people behind you are in motion. Unless you want to be at the bottom of a pig pile, move away before navel gazing.

[arcadian]

28. The etiquette for escalators

Is if you want to stand, stand on the right. People who walk on escalators are on the left.

[Gormy Cuss]

29. That's informal etiquette among public transit users and few others.

Escalators are designed to carry people from one level to another, not to decrease the amount of time it takes to walk or run between floors. All of us regular commuters know the expectation is that the left is kept open for walking but it's not a posted rule for good reasons -- safety and liability.
It used to be common to see signs prohibiting walking on escalators.

[tjwmason]

38. It's stated on the London Underground

Or rather there are signs which tell one to stand on the right, without adding that this is so that those of us who are impatient b*****ds can walk up/down on the left.

[Gormy Cuss]

41. There's the rub.

"Stand right" is intended to allow someone to pass on the left if needed, not to allow room for an express lane. As I noted earlier, we commuters do assume that the left is there for walking and there is no signage to actively discouraged it these days.

I was involved in a minor accident on the longest escalator in Boston's subway system and that was when I became educated on this issue. A Canadian system (Toronto, perhaps) removed suggestion signs a few years back out of concern for liability.

[Parche]

14. AND

GET OFF YOUR FUKIN CELL PHONE!!!!!!

:woohoo: :hi:

[madinmaryland]

17. Heh Heh

:hi:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

16. THANK YOU !

Someone did that to me the other day.Couldn't wait for me to get off the elevator,almost knocked me over.

[CreekDog]

19. This also applies to the: subway, bus, pet food dish

:hi:

[LynneSin]

20. unfortunately as much as I try to teach my pets to wait patiently til the dish is filled....

...they seem to just ignore my lessons. Most of the time I'm spilling food on their head trying to fill the dish.

[CreekDog]

27. just like when the dog parks him/herself in front of the door

waiting for you to open it.

they just aren't planners! :rofl:

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

25. I was just thinking the same thing this morning!

Fortunately there was only one of them and one of me, so it was no big deal. But this 'I gotta get on before anyone gets off concept' does seem to be rampant nowadays.

[Fleshdancer]

26. I HATE that!

I especially hated it when Abby was a baby and I was attempting to push her stroller out of the elevator and people wouldn't get out of my way.

It takes no more than a few seconds to take others into consideration.

[TrogL]

31. IF IT'S YOUR FLOOR GET OFF THE FREAKING EVEVATOR

Don't stand there blocking the door.

[flvegan]

33. How do we feel about cell phone talkers on the elevator?

:popcorn:

[LynneSin]

35. They don't bother me as long as I'm not hearing all their dirty laundry

Personally I could care less if someone got laid last night, don't talk about it in the elevator using your outdoor voice.

[Bake]

37. Question: Who died and appointed YOU Goddess of Elevator Etiquette?

Anyway?

Bake

[LynneSin]

42. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!

:loveya:

[Bake]

43. If I wanted abuse like this, I'd just go talk to my boss ...

But I'd have to get on the elevator to do that ...

:rofl:

Bake

[wickerwoman]

40. Also, if twenty people are getting off and twenty people are getting on

and you're standing next to the damn "door open" button push it, you bastard!

I live in the rude elevator capital of the world and every other week I have bruises up and down my arms because somebody was too damn lazy to hold the door (or was furiously pressing the "door close" button even though they saw me running to catch them.

Last week I was coming out of a door and a woman was coming in with an open umbrella (hey, why close it when you're outside and there's tons of space? use it to spike people out of your way as you push through the door they're coming out of.) I let the door slam shut on her umbrella and damn but it felt good.