pretend you're in school... "Please use 'Santorum' in a sentence."

[progressiverealist]

for those who need a definition go here: http://www.spreadingsantorum.com/


I'll go first: "Try as she might, the maid simply couldn't get the stain from the santorum out of Governor Perry's sheets."

[theorist]

1. My attempt, teacher.

"Rick Perry couldn't understand how so much santorum could be trapped in his colon, as he had been leaking into his drawers for the past 36 hours."

[Blue-Jay]

2. I just took a Rick and wiped my Santorum.

:shrug:

[4morewars]

3. "I'm gonna squeeze your lemon baby...

'till the santorum runs down my leg"

Apologies to Led Zeppelin in advance

[nini]

4. sorry, no can do..

I went to Catholic school and Sister Monica would whack me with the pointer for the words I would use :evilgrin:

[Papa]

5. "The Honorable Rick Santorum is an asshole."

That's my sentence.

[Whitacre D_WI]

6. My sig. line is full of Santorum.

[NightTrain]

7. "In my day, when you had TB, they put you in a santorum."

n/t

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

8. Ok

Most of the DUers laughed hard at the considerable amount of santorum that George W. Bush was spewing out at the State of The Union.

[GregW]

9. Unsure whether to scrape it off with his finger ...

... or wipe it on the sheets, Governor Perry did neither ... letting the santorum dry to a hard, chocolate-colored crust on his swiftly deflating member.

:puke:

[GOPisEvil]

11. Oh...ick...some of us just ate.

:puke:

[afraid_of_the_dark]

10. I caught my pants on a nail santorum.

A little play on words...

[Bertha Venation]

12. One night while we were entertaining, the toilet in the guest bath

backed up. It was a big party, so there's no telling who had caused the problem. But it was my house, and my problem. I put on my rubber gloves and a brave smile and went in and shut the door.

When I lifted the lid, I was greeted by the most foul stench in existence. The santorum was at the very edge of the bowl and had begun to dribble down the sides. Then I noticed the little puddles of santorum surrounding the commode on the floor.

I left the bathroom vomiting, told everyone "party's over," and called Plumber-911.

They had to bring three trucks and five guys. The only plumber who could get through the santorum and even begin to address the problem was a 420-lb teamster from Pennsylvania named Stevie. He said, "Aw, shit, ma'am, this is nothing. We're used to santorum where I come from."

[progressiverealist]

13. OK, that one's my winner.

A whole paragraph! Excellent!

[Bertha Venation]

15. did I do good, teacher?

What's my prize? :bounce:

[progressiverealist]

16. you get to pick a prize from the prize jar

Plus, you get an A and we'll publish your paragraph in the "local girl makes good" section of the hometown paper.

[Blue-Jay]

18. Call me crazy, but I don't think she *wants* a prick from the jar.

What?

Oh.

[ronnykmarshall]

20. THAT was brilliant!

[kodi]

14. a famous 3rd baseman for the cubs retired to run a distillery, he makes

ron santorum

[gator_in_Ontario]

17. "The reek of the santorum from the dump was so strong,

folks for mile around donned haz-mat suits. If it hadn't been for the occassional breeze blowing towards DC, their skin would never have known sunlight."

[ronnykmarshall]

19. Florence walked into the room and yelled:

"If you think for one damn minute I'm gonna touch them santorum covered sheets, you're out of your ever loving mind! You tell Gov. Perry to get his santorum covered ass in here and do it himself. I quit!"

[Butterflies]

21. I hadn't been in a public rest room in years . . .

so while at the mall I was surprised and disgusted when I saw so much santorum splattered on all four walls.

[KamaAina]

22. These hemorrhoids are making my santorum hurt like...

hell! :evilgrin:

[geniph]

23. My poor cat has a terrible case of santorum;

every time he goes to the litterbox, he splatters the liquid santorum all over the inside of the litterbox hood.

I had a bad case of santorum myself last month, probably caused by eating spoiled turkey. It took days of Imodium to clear it up.

[geniph]

24. From a medical dictionary:

Santorum: a thick, white, foul-smelling, cheese-like secretion that collects under the foreskin. It is important to thoroughly cleanse the foreskin to remove all traces of santorum for proper hygiene and to prevent penile cancer or the formation of santorum calcifications.

[camero]

25. Put Rick in a Santorum please.

:)

[AlienGirl]

26. "The santorum stains on the motel sheets made the place extra-sleazy."

[Jade Fox]

27. When I hung clothes out to dry in the desert wind the santorum to shreds