Rasheed Wallace / Happy Fun Ball

[Paragon]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=neel/040220 (snipped)
http://www.happyfunball.com/hfb.html

Warning: Coaches, referees, pregnant women, the elderly, and kids from one to 92 should avoid prolonged exposure to Rasheed Wallace.

Rasheed Wallace contains a molten core, which, if exposed to minor irritations, disagreements of any kind, or slights, perceived or real, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Discontinue use of Rasheed Wallace if any of the following occurs:

Itching
Vertigo
Disappointment
Frustration
Embarrassment
Bewilderment
Temporary blindness
Heart palpitations
Buyer's remorse

If Rasheed Wallace begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

When not in use, Rasheed Wallace should be left alone in his quiet place. You may slip cute notes under the door, but please, under no circumnstances, should you knock.

Failure to adhere to these guidelines relieves the traders of Rasheed Wallace (heretofore known as Relieved To Be Moving On, Incorporated), and its parent company, Can't We All Just Get Along Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Rasheed Wallace include an unknown viscous substance which flows through the cerebral cortex spreading paranoid visions.

Do not taunt Rasheed Wallace.

Any similarities between Rasheed Wallace and Happy Fun Ball are absolutely intentional.

[catzies]

1. Absolutey damn hilarious.

Don't forget too that Happy Fun Ball has that odd little white spot on it that nobody knows why it's there. And don't get me started on the tattoos.