Dear Chicago Cubs,

[KitchenWitch]

I am writing this on behalf of all Twins fans everywhere. Please do your best to beat the White Sox this weekend. A sweep would be most preferable.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

KitchenWitch - a diehard Twins fan.

[Oeditpus Rex]

1. Dear Los Angeles Dodgers:

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Orange County, Southern Kollyforniya, U S of A, Earth, System of Sol, Milky Way Galaxy, Universe, have your asses dialed. Please leave town for the weekend to spare your fans further humiliation.



Anonymous — a realistic Dodgers fan.

[KitchenWitch]

4. I wish we were not busy all weekend

I would love to catch one of the games up there.

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. Bet you wanted to be at Little Big Horn, Pearl Harbor and Dunkirk, too

x(

[KitchenWitch]

6. Oh dear.

I would wear my Dodgers shirt!

Seriously I need to get back to Dodger Stadium since it is only 45 miles away.

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. Honestly, I don't think I'd go to this series

The Angels fucking pwn us, man. In particular, I think Vlad the Impaler has more hits against us than at-bats. x(

[KitchenWitch]

8. Vlad the junk ball hitter?

There is not a pitch known to human kind that works as an "out" pitch for him. Jeebus.

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. That goes for pretty much the entire Republican League

which is why the Republicans beat the NL. Real American baseball has nuanced strategies, but the Official Mottos of the Republican League are:

• "Swing, goddammit! If it ain't a homer, there's always your next at-bat!"

and

• "We support the ERA — as long as it's over 6.00."

[Initech]

10. Heh, I am going to that game tonight.

:evilgrin:

[Parche]

2. I Dont Watch Hockey

So I will have to believe what you say....:hi: :hug:

[Sir Jeffrey]

3. Dempster is pitching tonight, so we're doing our best to help nt

[terrya]

11. The Cubs lost today.

[Brigid]

12. I know.

:cry:

Sorry Twins fans. We'll get 'em tomorrow.

[KitchenWitch]

13. I know you will!

:hi:

At least the Twins did not lose any ground to the White Sox today.

[sasquatch]

Dear Cincinnati Reds,

Maybe when you guys have Spring Training next year you can focus more on fundamentals and less on whatever in the hell it was that you were doing because it sure as hell wasn't practicing baseball.

Sasquatch - lifelong Reds fan

[sasquatch]

14. Dear Cincinnati Reds,

Maybe when you guys have Spring Training next year you can focus more on fundamentals and less on whatever in the hell it was that you were doing because it sure as hell wasn't practicing baseball.

Sasquatch - lifelong Reds fan

[liberaltrucker]

15. I'd LOVE to be at the ballpark

Like back in the 60's as a child. My grandparents lived 12 blocks
from Wrigley. Whether the game is there or the new Sox field: GO CUBBIES!!!

:hi:

[KitchenWitch]

16. It is being played at Comisk...er US Cellular Field this weekend.

[liberaltrucker]

18. I don't mention ballparks named after.........corporations

:puke:

Wrigley excepted, of course.

[KitchenWitch]

19. I hear ya!

:puke:

[liberaltrucker]

20. Can you explain that infernal infield fly rule?

That's perplexed me since Little League.

:)

[KitchenWitch]

21. Sure...

if you have runners at first and second, and the batter pops up to the infield, the umpire can call the infield fly rule so the batter is out. The base runners can run at their own risk. The rationale behind the infield fly rule is so that the team in the field can't get a cheap double play by accidentally on purpose dropping the ball, getting a force out on one of the existing base runners and then throwing to first to get the batter out.

[liberaltrucker]

23. Copied to MS Word for sober review

Thanks!

:toast:

[KitchenWitch]

24. You betcha!

I was confuzzled about infield fly until about 3 years ago.

[rockymountaindem]

17. Dear Boston Red Sox

Please continue to win a lot of World Series, since I'll be living right in Fenway in the foreseeable future and because it will piss off a certain Blue Jays fan I used to be friends with. Also, because I really, really like you.

Sincerely,
-Rocky (who became a fan in 2001 and is not, *not* a bandwagon rider)

[liberaltrucker]

22. Dear Atlanta Braves,

Back to the basics:

This is a baseball, this is a bat. Hit the damn ball with the bat.

:(

[TZ]

25. Dear Washington Nationals

While you are having a dreadful year, please to win ONE more agaisnt the Orioles so PeterU has to EAT CROW!
Turtlensue--who has a bet on with PeterU on the battle of the beltways.

[madinmaryland]

29. PeterU may eat crow, but Peter A will not be. He wins either way and he's laughing all the way

to teh bank!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

26. Dear Boston Red Sox,

Please don't drop any games this weekend against the Astros. For God's sake, they are 37-43. You are 50-32. There is no reason to lose. Also, in case you've forgotten, you're only half a game up over the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. To be in second place to the Devil Rays beyond early May is humiliating.

That said, Pittsburgh Pirates: PLEASE try even just once to take a game from the Devil Rays, preferably on a day that the Red Sox win, although I am not too picky at this point.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

[UrbScotty]

27. Dear Colorado Rockies,

You're going down big-time today.

Love,
Tigers fans everywhere

[KitchenWitch]

28. Dear Minnesota Twins -

You are playing the Brewers at home for crying out loud. Try not to make Sheets look like the second coming of Cy Young today. I know you didn't intend to make Parra look like Cy Young yesterday, but you did.

Helpfully,

KitchenWitch