Police Say Man Had Stolen Beef In His Pants

[flvegan]

When Stephen Bruce Tinker wanted to find a good place to hide the two family packages of beef steaks he was stealing from the Sweetbay Supermarket yesterday in Seffner, deputies say he didn't have to look far.

Tinker, 50, stuffed the two packages, valued at $69, into his jeans, according to Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office spokesman J.D. Callaway.

He did this while a security guard was watching him, Callaway said.

When Tinker walked out of the store without paying for the beef, he was stopped by the guard.

Then he pushed the guard, but was eventually apprehended, according to a criminal report affidavit.

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2008/jun/28/police-say-man-tried-steal-beef-supermarket/

[GOPisEvil]

1. I would say it's a bit hard to run from security with $69 of beef in your pants.

Big thinker, that Steve Tinker.

[Wcross]

2. Hard to run with 15-20 pounds of steak in your trousers. n/t

[madinmaryland]

3. It's not for me!!

:hide:

[Wcross]

6. I should have clarified- 15-20lbs of "loose meat".

:)

[JVS]

8. Arby's roast beef is delicious, but chipped ham is better.

[JVS]

4. $69 with of hot (i.e. stolen) beef in his pants?

wow

[Deja Q]

5. If only his name was 'Tinkler'...

Still, plenty of double entendres for an entire day...

[LeftyMom]

7. When did you change your name to Stephen?

:rofl:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

9. That'll leave ya with some tenderloins won't it.

:smoke:

[Ikonoklast]

10. I can top that story, easy

In a previous life I worked in retail food, we caught a woman wearing a skirt with a whole semi-boneless Sugardale ham between her thighs, trying to waddle out of the supermarket.

It weighed 24 lbs.

She couldn't exert enough pressure on it to keep from slipping out and falling to the ground.

Actually told the police she wasn't trying to steal it.....!

The cashiers told tales for years afterward about the woman that gave birth to a baby ham right in the middle of the store.