A thread to gloat and brag about yourself...

[Endangered Specie]

Shed your humblness and brag like you are the center of the universe...

[camero]

1. I am a manmen

Boy, that didn't come out right. :D

[LastKnight]

2. ...'like im the center of the universe'?

you mean im not? well thats odd, i thought for sure i was.

anyways... here goes the bragging...



ahem...

i rock


that is all

-LK

[Shananigans]

3. hmmmm....

I kick ass. I don't know why. I just do.

[POed_Ex_Repub]

4. I think therefore you are..

A figment of MY divine imagination. Is that conceited enough? :P

[Westegg]

5. Now you ladies lissen up good, now! I'm six feet tall....

...and blond and blue-eyed. Got me a hundred-sixty I.Q., a $90,000 BMW, a three-picture deal with a major Hollywood studio, a smart , stylish 2,500 square-foot co-op in Manhattan, a vacation spread in Malibu, 500 K in my checking account and, at the age of 32, I got almost NO body fat. I'm single---and I loves to mingle!

Okay. Maybe not. (Sigh.) So I'm 40, don't own a 90K Beemer, and am laboring to finish my first novel. I'm 25 pounds heavier than I've ever been. And I'm only 5' 10". The rest of the above is true---except for the parts that ain't. Plus, I'm marrried. My wife is sleeping ten feet away from me. She just woke up to ask me what I was wasting my time on.

As Hendrix said, "Reality is such a ... drag."

[JVS]

14. I was just thinking that you sounded like an egotistical asshole!

Good thing it was a lie. "Love your life, poor as it is" as Thoreau said :-)

[populistmom]

6. I'm too sexy for my shirt

I'm too smart for my cerebral cortex.
I'm too nice...period.

Oh, and I spawn geniuses, cute geniuses. :)

[mykpart]

7. I'm a legend

in my own mind.

[NoPasaran]

8. When I walk into a room

String men weep and bad guys piss their pants

[Semi_subversive]

9. My penis is too large

for any of my pants.

[slinkerwink]

10. I have the best dimple ever in the entire world! and the cutest dog ever!

Look at my avatar! :-)

[fudge stripe cookays]

19. Nope sorry! I have the cutest dog in the world...see?

[slinkerwink]

20. nooo.....my dog is the cutest! see?

:evilgrin:

[SammyWinstonJack]

21. Very cute, indeed!

Wish I could post a pic of my yorkie! Pretty sure she is the cutest dog in the World! Aren't we all just SO sure, that our dogs are the cutest in the World? :evilgrin:

[slinkerwink]

22. lol! that's the thing with dog owners, is that their dog is the cutest in

the entire world! :hi:

[fudge stripe cookays]

48. Sure he is...

If you LIKE that fluffy, sorta terrier, half Lhasa, half you're-not-sure-what. SURE he he is.

</sarcasm>

To each his own. :D

[slinkerwink]

52. lol! he's a miniature toy poodle

;-)

[Tank in Texas]

11. ok... Fly By Nite Lighthouse...

... my would-be poetry page is up and running. If you'd like to take a look, here is a link:

http://www.geocities.com/the_tankman

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

12. I just got a job!!!

Nailed the interview today and start monday as a QA/writer for an interactive multitmedia design company. I'm temp for right now...full time temp, but if my work is of good quality, they're going to make me a permanent employee.
The only thing that sucks is I have to commute nearly two hours to downtown St. Paul, MN. Hopefully, that will be only for a week.
Cripes, I can't even type straight, I'm so psyched.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

18. Way to go!

[SammyWinstonJack]

23. Congrats!

Hope it works out for ya!

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

41. Thank you...

I'm so psyched I couldn't sleep last night...and I don't start work until Monday!!!
The commute's gonna kill me for the first week, though.

[Bertha Venation]

49. Congratulations!

:toast:

[Feanorcurufinwe]

13. I'm too modest to participate in this thread

;)

[SmileyBoy]

15. I have such DENSE, RADIANT MANHOOD...

My manhood radiates out of me to the point that if you touched me, you would become 10 times more of a man than you previously were.

[Awsi Dooger]

16. 875 Flop has been on a colossal roll, thank you

I don't watch the college basketball games at all and can't name a single player besides the Connecticut center, Obakafor or something like that.

So it irritates the hell out of some all-knowing college basketball gurus in Las Vegas that my simplistic, homemade, math-based wagering systems are kicking the shit out of their subjective judgements.

* One example, my treasured "875 Flop": check Jeff Sagarin's college basketball power ratings, updated nightly on USA Today's website. Bet against any home favorite of 8 points or more, with a power rating BELOW 75.00. Hence the title, 875 Flop.

Two critical exceptions: do not wager on road teams with a Sagarin rating below 63.00, or against a home team that allows 63 points per game or less. The system takes advantage of flawed teams as sizeable home favorites, but the pathetic teams below 63.00 cave in regardless. And a mediocre team with terrific defense can cover spreads vs. lesser teams at home.

Of course, this angle will likely tank for a short period, identical to when I blab them as guest on a sports radio talk show. With one week remaining in the regular season I'll take the risk. Since last Saturday it's gone 12-3.

[VOX]

17. Me Me Me Me Me...Myself Myself Myself Myself...I I I I I...

The unholy trinity!

:evilgrin:

[northzax]

24. I once got busy

in a burger king bathroom.

[carols]

25. I've got a really good anti-* website

Carol

[Burma Jones]

51. Yes, it is quite good, thanks.

[pagerbear]

26. I have a high C. D-flat on good days.

Well, I did when I singing all the time.

[Ellen Forradalom]

27. I wrote a 30-line Perl script that saved my colleagues hours of work

Wrote a little script to convert our Korean language web pages from Korean EUC encoding to UTF-8. Unleashed it recursively on the whole directory. Voila! Our pages are all in UTF-8.

[Bonhomme Richard]

28. I designed and now manufacture a device that saves........

the Navy ( and you and me ) millions of dollars a year.

[Bonhomme Richard]

35. How is it I'm still poor?

[NightTrain]

29. I have beautiful green eyes.

One of my old girlfriends called them "angelic." O8)

[Melsky]

30. I'm a famous artist

well, not that famous but getting there. :hi:

[BadGimp]

31. just testing my new sig

.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

32. I was a damn cute little kid...

Try not to grin at this picture. lol (I'm not really this full of myself...but it did say to brag!)
Duckie

[Bonhomme Richard]

33. I raised...........

(my wife probably had more to do with it than me) two great boys.

Now there is something to gloat about.

[DS1]

34. I can do anything you can do, better

:7

[Rabrrrrrr]

42. No, you can't

[DS1]

44. Yes, I can!

[Rabrrrrrr]

45. No, you can't!

[DS1]

46. Yes, I can!!!

*does a Tarantino new-age thang and slices off your left nipple, while reciting the Cliff Notes to King Lear*

[Rabrrrrrr]

47. No, you can't!!!!

I do my own thing:

http://www.fanta.dk/showmovie.asp?mid=39B0D3D1-58FF-42B7-AA2A-084833EB1B7C

http://www.fanta.dk/showmovie.asp?mid=2A41013B-28D7-415B-AFFA-C51FBD96CBA3

[brainwashed_youth]

36. listen here bitches

I am probably the smartest person I know, I'm one of the only people I know who give a fuck about this country, and I'm pretty much better than everybody else. I should be president because I am that damn good.




ok...that was really gay

[mykpart]

37. Other women hate me

because I'm so beautiful!

[EstimatedProphet]

38. Why believe what I have to say?

Here's how great I am, in the words of my SO:

"You're just too cute and I love you with all of my heart."

Good enough for me...

[Ramsey]

39. I have really good shoes

[bobthedrummer]

40. I simply am a world class drummer

certainly the best in N.E. Wisconsin and would make a lot of bucks for any studio that hires me for my talent.
:hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. I have a CD that I produced myself,

It's a requiem I composed, and its' available for sale from me, Rabrrrrrr. It's about 32 minutes long, scored for choir, five soloists, organ, piano, and chimes, and uses the standard Latin requiem text (with some stuff taken out), some German poetry, and some sections about the futility of life from the Ruba'iyat.

If I say so myself, it's quite beautiful, and emotionally stirring.

I wrote it in honor of my father after he died.

[Burma Jones]

50. I am your Superior - (one of the following is false)

I have helped create incredibly beautiful and intelligent children
I am an understanding and compassionate man
My wife is eleven years younger than I, is an experienced Yoga Teacher and understands the overwhelming power of her kindness
I have appeared on CDs actually for sale in stores as both a Jazz/Rock Trumpeter and a Tenor (vocal) soloist
I earn a lot of money
When I get an erection, I pass out from the lack of blood to my brain
I have a Monette Ajna trumpet
I have a Steinway Piano
I make the finest barbecued ribs this side of Carolina
I have a PhD in Computer Science
I was one of the pioneers of the Web Services Platform
I got over 1500 on my SATs while almost flunking out of High School
I have directed plays professionally (barely)


On Edit:

My Wife says I make really good coffee and that I am very funny. She sure as hell didn't marry me for my looks....

[slackdude]

53. I wrote, directed and editied a feature film

That's right, I made an underground political comedy for under $1000 which played to full houses in Washington, DC and picked up a nomination for Best Narrative Feature at the Barebones International Film Festival. It was written in one month, preproduced and cast in one month, the bulk of principle photography took one month of nights and weekends since two main cast members were moving away. The rest of the shoot was much more spread out over the course of 2 months. We didn't have any permits to shoot anywhere, and when we shot near the Capitol and the monuments, we just pretended to be tourists. We even staged a wedding at a World Bank protest with Reverend Billy from the Church of Stop Shopping conducting the ceremony and cops and protestors as extras. All the music we used was from DC area artists. It's currently being self released on DVD with freshly remastered sound and a bunch of cool extras. If anyone here is interested in picking one up, PM me for a DU discount.