Strict and unbending rules for stray cats

[SoCalDem]

http://members.tripod.com/~bo63/catpage3.html




Written by
StarryNyte


1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.

3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.



8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y."



11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.



13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17. Stray cats will sleep outside.

18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.



21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lamb's wool pillow.

22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.



26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.



28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is sdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hbdm9l o9jmdskdm,.

[4morewars]

1. I laughed ...

numerous times while reading that !!!! Especially at this:13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

I'm guessing you have a cat ???

[Wonk]

2. Stray cats will not play rockabilly.

[izzie]

3. My 2 stray cats have been with me since '95 and' 96

Do I still need rules for them, or can they just keep ruling as they have done since then?

[NJCher]

4. 4more

Let's just say she has a "few."

Oh, SoCalDem, I laughed so hard at that. I can't wait to sent it to my mother, whose stray cat is now on number 23.

Reminds me of something that happened last spring. A friend at a garden forum had some red rock she wanted to get rid of and so I picked it up to build paths in my garden. She was a sweetheart who helped me put the red rock in bags in my car.

While we were loading the car up, I saw a black cat head up her neighbor's steps and enjoy himself on the back porch in the sun.

My garden forum friend remarked it was a stray and that her neighbor had said she wasn't going to feed it anymore to try to get it to go away. This made me so incredibly sad. I wanted to capture the cat and get it to a shelter.

A few moments after she told me that, the neighbor returned home from the grocery store in a little Suburu 4WD station wagon. Out came a big bag of catfood. A short time later, the "waitress" appeared with milk and two bowls of food for the cat, who was still hanging out on the porch.

So much for not feeding stray cats :)


Cher

[dmr]

5. Oh boy, am I in trouble

[corporatewhore]

6. You will not get emotionally attached

my mom said that of our first cat now she is more like "and hows my precious babydoll"

[VOX]

7. Glad that you haven't lost perspective and can draw the line!

I'm a total *sucker* for a cat. I presently work for two of them!

[brokensymmetry]

8. I think I'm in trouble....

because you've clearly been watching me! :-)