What is it with men ?

[MissHoneychurch]

I was supposed to have a date Saturday evening. I know the guy some years already. So far it is a friendship. Saturday he wanted to come visit me. He never showed up, he never called.

I don't understand that. Why is it so hard to call or send a message saying "Sorry MissHoneychurch, I can't make it." Not asking for more than being treated fairly and polite.

At least my apt is clean again :)


On another page a friend of mine got cheated on. They guy she fell in love with is married and has 2 children. His wife found out. My friend didn't know anything about that. He told her bullshit lies from the beginning.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

1. Happens with both sexes unfortunately

Just a sad fact of life

[MissHoneychurch]

4. I am not like that

and I know not all guys are like that. I still seem to meet this type on a regular basis :eyes:

[conscious evolution]

18. So true

A young lady I was dating blew me off last weekend with out bothering to call.Not the first time she has done so either.
Now she is mad because I told her I don't want to see her anymore. WTF!

[Skittles]

2. OK first, kick the ass of the guy who stood you up next time you see him

second, how the FUCK does a gal FALL IN LOVE with a guy and NOT KNOW HE IS MARRIED. I mean, unless he is keeping a TOTALLY SEPARATE RESIDENCE how does this happen? Did she never visit where the guy lived?

[MissHoneychurch]

3. I will do that

believe me.

He is in the Army, wife lives in the U.S., he was in Germany. Told her he has to go to Afghanistan, but actually left for the U.S.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

5. Did he know it was a date?

Or was it more casual, more subtle, more of a "maybe I'll drop by"? We guys can be pretty dense and socially oblivious.

But if he didn't want to "rock the church"? No, that makes no sense at all. Doesn't compute. Impossible. Both my brains are in agreement on this.
:rofl:
:hi:

[MissHoneychurch]

6. We had a date

he said, it would be late but that he wants to see me and would come. He said, he would message me when he leaves where he lives. Never heard a word.

I am not really mad, just a bit pissed, that he didn't have the courtesy to let me know he couldn't make it or to call me yesterday to say "Sorry".

[Callalily]

7. Sorry to hear about your date.

Very inconsiderate of your friend. Try not to waste any more of your time on him, thoughts or otherwise.

Also sorry to hear about your friend and the married guy. Some guys are exceptionally good liars. I feel bad for the wife too.

:hug: :hi: :loveya:

[MissHoneychurch]

8. Thanks Simply

I am not really upset or sad about that not-happened date Saturday. I am just a bit annoyed about being so inconsiderate. Oh well, as said, at least I had a good reason to get my ass in gear and clean up my apt.

About my friend .... she will survive, she didn't know him that long yet. I've been in the same situation some years ago. Except that I was together with "my" guy for a year back then. I feel bad for the wife too. Her marriage is a lie. Not something I want to live through.

How was your weekend? :hi: :hug: :loveya:

[Callalily]

10. Yes, that was truly inconsiderate

of your friend. He could of at least called. Takes a few seconds.

Weekend was great! Had a fabulous time with my friends on Saturday. Meal was good, conversation was stimulating. I didn't do too much yesterday! ;) Got today off too, so I think I'd best do something productive - maybe! :rofl:

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

12. I am really proud of myself

how I had the energy to do my household. I even washed all my clothes and linnens yesterday. Emptied the dishwasher, let it run again with new dirty dishes ... I was all housewife this weekend :rofl:

[wain]

9. If he's a friend of some years, call him up and ask what happened.

Maybe there is a misunderstanding. Maybe he got the wrong Saturday. Be nice. If he just stood you up, then you can tell him what you think.

Good luck.

And very nice apartment. Lovely furniture.

[MissHoneychurch]

11. I might do that

or send him a message on Yahoo. I won't get upset over it. I just think it to be inconsiderate.

Thanks. I love old furniture. :)

[Crazy Dave]

13. 15 years ago I could understand

Things happen and hardly anybody had cell phones back then. Now anybody can be reached anywhere at any time. I was over 22 miles camping out in the middle of nowhere last week and still had a good cell phone signal.

As for myself, I'm very considerate about being on time and to me that's being at least 10 minutes early. If I'm supposed to be somewhere at 7pm and I arrive right at 7pm, to me I feel like I'm already late.

[MissHoneychurch]

15. Hey Dave

:hi:

was thinking about you the other day.

I am like you. I am rather 30 minutes early than 1 minute late.

[Chan790]

17. I always get restaurant reservations for 15 minutes earlier...

than I've asked my date to meet me on a first date. It allows me to get comfortable, do anything I need to do, and order a drink. As for timeliness, I'm a non-driver so it's largely out of my hands. I tend to be very early to everything.

I remember once I was standing in this field in NY and then all of a sudden there were masses of people around me and stages and bands; I turned to this long-haired fellow standing next to me and I was all "What is this? Where did all these people come from?" and he was all "It's Woodstock, man." (Okay, that's my one lame joke/apocryphal story for the day.)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

26. god, i love punctual people.

:loveya:

[rug]

14. Your friend's boyfriend cheated on her with his wife?

Men are pigs.

[MissHoneychurch]

16. OK

he cheated on his wife with my friend. Sorry that I wrote it wrongly. The point is that she didn't know he was married.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

27. he did cheat on her. its a perfectly appropriate usage

[Starbucks Anarchist]

19. I would have called.

:hi:

[MissHoneychurch]

20. You would have come

:hi:

:loveya:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

21. That's true.

;)

[alarimer]

22. That is a deal-breaker for me.

I have been a victim of this sort of behavior too often to put up with excuses. There is no excuse for it. Unless you are dead in a ditch somewhere, a phone call is mandatory if you cannot make it.

[MrsBrady]

24. i agree 100% n/t

[MrsBrady]

23. my husband says...

my husband says...that the guys at work constantly trash talk about women, and he can't stand it.
He also said that when he is on the road with a team from another city, that there is this one group of guys that always wants to go to the titty bars.

I knew this kind of stuff went on, but I didn't know that is was as common as he says it is.
I was more surprised to hear about that than I probably should have been.
And these guys are all married with kids. :puke:
We've been married for just 18 months now, and he was the lone bachelor at work for all those years. He said he always got out of going by claiming to be tired, but he says that he felt like they always treat him a little differently because he never wanted to "go along with their crap" (his words).

There ARE men out there like my husband that respect women, but it took me 35 years of kissing frogs (some of them really BIG frogs) to find my prince. One by one all of my friends got married, but I refused to settle. I would have rather been an old maid.

I know there are women on the flip side that are just as bad, but I never made them my friends.

Just do me a favor and don't go out with him since he did this, ok? I'm not saying cut him out completely, but he clearly is more concerned about himself. IMO
Unless he's dead or in the hospital, he as NO excuse for treating you that way. If he's doing this NOW, it will only be more of the same later.

[MissHoneychurch]

25. Thank you for your words

I am 33 years old and sometimes I start to wonder where all the good men are. Glad you found one :)

[Blue_Tires]

28. yeah, that no-show who didn't call was rude

you know him better than we do, so if you think he deserves the benefit of the doubt, then give him that...

i'm sorry about your girlfriend...how long was she dating the married guy? usually, some cracks start showing in a married person's story if you are with them long enough...

[Deja Q]

29. Not all men are like that.

It's possible he had last minute plans and didn't find your number, but at some point he should at least try to contact you.

As for cheaters, I have little sympathy for the lives they ruin - either by heartache or, worse, by disease. There are venues for disagreements, which include divorce if things are really that bad. To hop into bed behind someone else's back is wrong, and I know of no justifications for that sort of thing.