Many people nowadays think that being rude and obnoxious is

[raccoon]

being assertive and cute, or "feisty" if the person is female.

I have a niece who is like this, who thinks it's "cute" to be mean, snotty, and hateful. I have no contact with her any more.

I think the mass media encourages this kind of thinking.

[TZ]

1. "nice guys finish last"

Indeed is a cliche that many seem to believe.
Similarly, I have encountered the attitude that its alright to be a professional backstabber, lie and be generally dishonest as long as it advances your career.x(

[guitar man]

11. but nice guys do finish last

I mean, if a guy is a real asshole, he doesn't care of she finishes at all :P

[mainegreen]

2. Media I think plays a role.

Either way, being nice and polite, but firm, usually gets one what one wants.
I've 'niced' my way through many situations.
It's especially handy at airports. If you smile and are friendly, maybe say hi, it's like your the damned invisible man to those TSA people.

[Richardo]

4. This is the correct response.

I often get what I want by being polite, professional yet firm when needed. I try to imagine what would persuade me if I were on the other end of the transaction. It works more often than not.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Not just mass media, but mass media as it is led by Republican examples

Certainly from the time of Reagan, being mean has become more acceptable.

But also look at today - Obama says he is willing to talk with people, and the rightwing spin machine immediately equates that with appeasement.

So of course the only acceptable social interaction becomes meanness and incivility.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. quite frankly i think when women are being mean and passing it on as assertive, is when we notice it

men are equally rewarded for being rude and obnoxious ( i can think of several popular male du'ers, rush limbaugh and a host of other people)

[raccoon]

6. I notice it a lot more in both sexes nowadays. nt

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i think that is a fair statement.

[XemaSab]

28. This may open a can of worms that is better left shut

but when Hillary acts a certain way, she's a bitch, but when W acts that same way, he's being forceful and taking a tough stand.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

32. yeah, like kerry had to vote for iwr because of the political climate, hillary was just a bitch

edwards had every right to suspend his campaign, but when hrc did it, it was because of some back stabbing plan

[Kerrytravelers]

8. I certainly agree- especially with the obnixious part.

There is this prankster mentality that I just don't know how to respond to.

[1gobluedem]

9. I blame it all on reality TV

They glorify such behavior.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. lol. not if you watch the reality TV shows that i watch

animal planet reality TV just rocks.

King of the Jungle, GRoomer Has It etc

[PRETZEL]

12. I don't know if mass media encourages it or not,

I know my kids went through a phase when rude and obnoxious (basically self centered and selfish) was more apparent. They grew out of it with my ex's and I's not allowing for that type of behavior to continue. It's when they don't grow out of it or are taught that that's not how they should behave is when the problem occurs. That's the parents fault entirely.

[Orsino]

13. And they take pride in being "politically incorrect"...

...mistaking mere asshattery for some sort of rebellion against The Powers That Be.

[leftofthedial]

14. kiss my ass

[Skittles]

30. ditto n/t

[Writer]

15. I think more people feel powerless over their lives nowadays.

And in doing so, those people victimize others in order to compensate for whatever inadequacies they feel. Whatever dark, empty hole exists in their lives.

It's easy to blame the media; however, it's less easy but more truthful to focus on how we all enable that behavior in each other. Assholes should be social pariahs.

[Brigid]

17. Instead, jerks get fat contracts for radio shows.

:(

[Writer]

19. Yes, but consider this: who keeps the jerk on the air?

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

26. His fellow assholes

They relate to the big fat pedo asshole.

[Writer]

29. Yarp!

[Brigid]

16. I think the media encourages this sort of thing.

All you have to do is pick up your remote and do a little channel surfing. This is what you'll find: A bride-to-be being nasty to her family and friends just because she's in a bad mood, two bimbos sniveling over which one of them some slack-jawed moron of a rock star is going to choose to be his kept woman, people in some remote area sniping at each other over who stole some food or some such nonsense, or some experienced but snarky hairdresser telling someone to "impress her." And that's just from flipping around the channels, and without even mentioning what you see on political news shows! Kids pick up on all this and think that is the way the world works -- the being rude and obnoxious pays. Be civil, and you get rolled over. :(

[Sugar Smack]

18. I blame "talk to the hand"

for the worse that followed.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

27. Damn you, Ricki Lake

...and your sassy guests and audience members.

[Redbear]

20. I agree.

So ... what should we do about it?

[Writer]

21. I think we need to speak up more.

[Blue_Tires]

22. if a woman wearing glasses does it, it becomes 'snark' for some reason

[NewJeffCT]

23. In some ways yes, in other ways no

I think the workplace is far more tolerant of things like women in the workplace, people of color at work, gays/lesbians at work etc than it was 20 years ago, and I would imagine it's better than 40 or 60 years ago as well. Things like sexual harrassment, off-color jokes, etc are generally not tolerated anymore and could land the harrasser/joker out of a job... in the past, people were just expected to suck-it-up and endure the jokes or harrassment, or else quietly quit or find a new job.

That's not to say there are still not plenty of problems, but most places of work actually have policies dealing with these things now.

I think women being assertive and career-oriented is more acceptable now, but it has also made it acceptable for a woman to be cut-throat and backstabbing at work, just like men...

[Crazy Dave]

24. It catches up with any and all

Someone who's been an asshole to everyone finds that they cannot asshole themselves into being a friend, keeping friends or even meeting new ones after a while. I knew one individual who actually committed suicide following years of using men and treating other women like shit because she was very attractive and used to getting her way all the time. But unless you eventually change your ways or move to a different side of town, go to different bars, etc. it all catches up to you and after a while nobody, and I mean nobody wanted anything to do with her and new people she met were quickly advised by others of what to expect from her.

Needless to say, she died all alone, no friends to call, everybody had pretty much blocked her number, died all alone at the age of 34 for "Being a bitch and proud of it".

[Fleshdancer]

25. I think we have the same niece

Mine laughs and describes her self as "ornery" as if she means feisty without realizing that it's just another word that means asshole.

[stuntcat]

31. many people are turning to shit, imho

sorry to anyone that offends, most DUers really do seem nice!, but I've seen enough of what people are capable of in my life :hi: