If you and your spouse own a home, and a garden is being planted... should you fight? Read on:

[Radio_Lady]

Last night, my husband went to Lowe's and purchased a tree called a Weeping Larch. I did not accompany him because my car was under repair and I was at home cleaning out the garage on such a beautiful day! Actually, I usually love the things he plants.

Well, you horticulturalists and arborists, I am nominating this tree as the Ugliest Tree I've ever seen. But, of course, the ever-thrifty Audio Al found the sad tree was reduced from $99.98 to $50.00 in an "end of the season" sale (the end of the summer season???). Hey, that was a STEAL!

I hated the thing when it was in his car. I hated it when he put it on the two-wheeler. I hated it when he put it on a mound of barkdust as a test.

But, after I expressed my misgivings and opinions, he yelled, "Don't do this to me!" which he usually yells after I'm exploring other options.

Well, it was 6 PM and I called out to him -- "Do we have to return it tonight in the rush hour traffic? Can we wait until tomorrow?"

"No," he said as he opened a beer. "I'm planting this and you're just going to have to accept it."
Next thing I knew, it was planted.

I told him I wanted to dress it as "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" because it is the worst green tree with weeping, downpointing branches and it makes me feel badly. Ours looks like an old lady with osteoarthritis of the back.

Oh, did I mention I have to look at it out my kitchen window?

Does anybody know how to poison a tree without anybody knowing the difference?

This is not the actual tree. Just one I found on the Internet.

[Whoa_Nelly]

1. Dear Radio_Lady: Get over it. It's just a tree

It'll do the job environmentally.

Seems this runs deeper than any of the future roots of the Weeping Larch.

Love your husband?
Does he love you?
Do you have each other's backs, no matter what?

Is this a battle really worth choosing? :shrug:

PS
Please don't kill the tree.
That would be mean.

xo
Your friend,
Nelly




PPS
It's a beautiful tree.
Looks very English garden.

[Radio_Lady]

2. Thanks, Nelly. Well, THAT one is kind of nice. It reminds me of a green wig

with rastafarian curls. Thanks for your insights. Just kidding about killing the tree. I'll try to learn to love it.

[femmocrat]

3. Is Audio Al around? If so, scroll down....

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Water it with salt water.... and then when it croaks, you can take it back to Lowe's for a refund. Their trees are guaranteed for a year. (But you didn't hear it from me!)

:evilgrin:

[Radio_Lady]

4. You're evil... and I don't even know your name.

:evilgrin:

I'll keep all the paperwork then... maybe by next year, the tree AND Audio Al will be, um... six feet under? I know arsenic works for people. I've seen it on my television. :sarcasm:

Thanks... good point.

[femmocrat]

5. Oh no!

Whoa_Nelly gave you much better advice.... Ignore mine! Please!

(Throwing salt over my shoulder, hanging garlic around my neck, and spitting three times to ward off evil!!!)

And a big :hug: to Audio Al!!!

[Radio_Lady]

17. Hi again femmocrat. . So, you are fighting off evil? What about the wart on my finger?

Well, the tree has been trimmed a bit tonight and it's not so terrible.

We lost the incredible eucalyptus tree last winter. That was the one that got carved up, both on the Democratic Underground, and for real! (If you don't understand this, don't ask.)

Thanks for your post Hug you back :hug:

SeeU@theDU

[undeterred]

6. Its ugly.

But you'll get used to it if you lavish it with love.

[Maddy McCall]

7. I am quite certain that that is the most hideous tree I've ever seen in my life.

Good god...he PAID FOR THAT?

And it doesn't get much better looking as it grows...it looks like a bog monster.

[Robb]

11. You say that like it's a bad thing

Couple 'a googly eyes and a pair of work gloves tacked on, you've got yerself the neighborhood watch's conversation piece for the year. :D

[Fran Kubelik]

16. ....

[Radio_Lady]

19. See? Now, that's what I call CREATIVE...

PICKLE CUCUMBER GRINCH TREE...

Why not just a beautiful spruce or a majestic Douglas fir? Or a couple of rose bushes in the Rose City?

Naw, he lurched and we got a Weeping Larch some fancy French Larice Lloron 'pendula' -- do you know that Latin base? (Ever hear the expression "Pendulous BREASTS" and other things that hang?

Oh, oh. The tag says it's "Extremely Hardy" -- not a good sign.

[Radio_Lady]

18. Maddy, OMG! My eyes are bleeding and I can't stop pointing... WTF? Is that pretty?

THAT TREE TAKES THE CAKE... ??)

See what I mean???

:rofl:

[NV Whino]

8. i wouldn't worry too much

If it looks like that, it's not long for this world anyway.

[Radio_Lady]

20. That one is not OURS, just a larch in the fall. They turn yellow.

The grinch tree is not like the REAL Grinch in that respect.

He NEVER turns yellow, unless he's a coward.

[XemaSab]

9. I think larches are really cool trees

They're deciduous.

:shrug:

[Radio_Lady]

22. Wonderful. I thought they were an evergreen until just a few minutes ago.

We move from Boston to get a tree that loses its foliage?

I'm going to have to tell Audio Al about that.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

10. And now.... the Larch.

It looks like a plant version of Cousin Itt.

But still, how can you hate a tree?

I think that I shall never see
A sight like Radio Lady's tree

A tree whose leafy dreadlocks drape
Around its gnarly, snarly shape;

A tree that lifts its arms to prey,
And scares the neighbor kids away;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of vultures in her hair;

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only husbands buy weird trees.

[latebloomer]

13. Good one!

:rofl:

[Radio_Lady]

23. Ocelot, you're brilliant! "I think that I shall never see... a poem as lovely as a tree."

You're a poet
And don't know it
Your feet show it
They're Longfellows.

Thanks so much..

I'll post it in my kitchen so I can look at it in the morning glow right outside my window.

RL in OR

[madeline_con]

12. Go here...

To see weeping larches that are healthy.

Maybe given time, yours will perk up. :)


http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Weeping+Larch&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2

[Radio_Lady]

24. Oops! I just told my husband it's deciduous... he didn't believe me.

I've got proof now -- this is one in Spokane, Washington.



OK... they called me a bandwidth thief. Could the type face be any larger???

Dave's Forbidden Garden is closed for prison repair.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. Radio_Lady !!

:rofl:

:hi:

:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

25. You think you've got problems? I've been called a thief and I have the ugliest tree in the world.

Anybody have an axe?

[Lars39]

15. Forget about getting the money back for the tree...salt it when he's not looking.

Saw thru the tap root, or something. That is one ugly tree.

[bonito]

21. Just better to let him have it

It doesn't spin my wheels but whats the harm? I mean if it doesn't take over :shrug:

[Radio_Lady]

26. It's planted and it's staying there. He feels undone because he didn't ask anybody about the tree.

He thought it was an evergreen and it really looks like one.

I told him to forget about it. It's a conversation piece. If we don't like it, we'll dig it up and take it back.

He has a good green thumb and he likes to design gardens and work in them. We're trying to make our yard "easy care" so we can cut back on the $145 a month we are paying to a landscape firm.

Thanks everybody. I've had a few laughs, learned a lot, seen some groovy photos, turned into a bandwidth thief -- all in just a couple of hours.

I'll be here if Dave wants to subpeona me about the bandwidth theft.

RL in OR

[Radio_Lady]

27. UPDATE: Our son-in-law, the Jewish doctor, said this:

"He should have researched it on the Internet before he went and bought it. I always check out our plants BEFORE I buy!"

Oy, vey, my daughter married such a SMART GUY!

Such a DOLLINK!

Have a good weekend!

Radio Lady with the Weeping Larch Tree

[Radio_Lady]

28. I forgot one thing -- my daughter and her husband bought a house with a Sweet Gum Tree...

This big, beautiful tree dominates their smallish front yard. BUT... that tree casts off one of the weirdest and most vicious seed pods in the arboreal world. They drop off the tree by the hundreds. Let's see if I can bring it in here:



Once I called an arborist to find out what it would cost to cut that sucker down. $650.00 was what I was quoted.

Wear shoes! Don't go out in bare feet!