Which family member of yours can just kiss your ass?

[Crazy Dave]

I vote for my two sons who have grown up to be real assholes to me and my wife. I don't hate them though as I know where they got it from ;)
They can always call me if they need a kidney, just don't call me for money.

[Lyric]

1. My sister.

She takes advantage of everyone, she thinks we should all pity her because she's had a hard life (as if we haven't) and she refuses to be a responsible parent to her kids.

She can kiss my fucking ass.

[Crazy Dave]

4. The next on my list is my brother

Who has been living off most of my mother's pension ($1500 a month) who I take care of for over eight years. Mom is the perfect enabler though. He's a year younger than me (46) and she still says, "you're the older one and you know better than him" :crazy:

[susanna]

23. My sister AND brother

who are robbing my parents of any peace or serenity in their later years by sheer stupidity.

[LeftyMom]

2. My mother's sister.

She's stolen from pretty much every friend, family member and neighbor in a 100 mile radius. If she shows up around here, she'll have people lined up around the block to kick her ass, half of them blood relatives.

[Crazy Dave]

5. Sounds like my step-daughter

But her and mom say she's just being set-up by everyone

[begin_within]

3. Everyone except the little kids.

[Chan790]

6. Virtually all of them

They never miss an opportunity to tell me that I'm the black sheep of the family because their values (conservative, religious, high importance of money, anti-intellectual) aren't mine and i refuse to live the life they want me to.

All I've got to say is "Baaaaaaaaaaaa!"

[EFerrari]

7. Yes,

:evilgrin:

[last_texas_dem]

8. One of my third cousins

Mean little (well, not literally) right-wing blowhard who never apologized for some nastiness she sent me in an e-mail. In this extended family e-mail group, my grandmother sent out what I thought was a pretty reasonable forward back after September 11th, in which she suggested that we exhaust every available diplomatic option before resorting to military options. Well, my cousin's mom sent out this shrill, nasty attack e-mail to the group, directed at my grandma calling her a "PACIFIST!!!!1!!!1!!" I sent what I felt was a pretty reasonable response defending my grandma, and this cousin of mine privately e-mails me this self-righteous little screed questioning my patriotism. I sent her a very cautious, polite response discussing why I feel the way that I do, and never received any sort of response from her. The justification for the nastiness from her and her mom was apparently based on the fact that their father/husband was potentially going to be called up to go to Afghanistan, and somehow it was an insult to have people suggesting he shouldn't go unless all diplomatic options had been exhausted. It's been years, but I continue to hold this grudge. I mean, she was a very insignificant character in my life to begin with so I don't exactly care about mending fences, she attacked me and never apologized even after I was entirely reasonable, and I have every reason to believe that she's still just as much of a redneck blowhard now as she was then. (If you actually got to the end of this rant, thanks for reading. haha)

[u4ic]

9. The few I'm thinking of

I don't want to be in the same country with them, let alone in physical proximity.

So, no, they can't kiss my ass. :P

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. The Favres, related

by marriage and they can kiss my ass ;)

[sniffa]

11. Uncle Boo

Ignorant OCD/germophobe who pretty much demands that everyone adopt his obsessions while he's around. If not, there's hell to pay. :eyes:

[Robb]

12. I'm totally stealing that line

"Call me if you need a kidney. Otherwise, scram." :D

[Crazy Dave]

13. That and...

...when I get older I'm going to pretend (or maybe not pretend) I have alzheimers and when they call or come by I'll say, "who the hell are you?"

[IronLionZion]

14. most of them, I'm the unwanted step-child so fuck them. nt

[fudge stripe cookays]

15. My mother.

Anyone who has seen any of my posts here about her knows why.

[latebloomer]

16. My brother-in-law, and also my mother-in-law

He's an ineffectual jerk whose prescription drug addict wife left him. So his mommy HAD to move in with him and pay his mortgage so he wouldn't lose his house. Poor baby was 50 years old at the time.

Dear wifey decides to move back in, but refuses to pay any bills, so Enabler Mommy continues to be the rescuer. Can't let him lose his house- oh noes!

Mommy gives him a credit card for emergency use only- he racks up $7K on it and stops paying the minimum. Someone (his jailbird stepson? his wife?) opens up 10 credit cards in Mommy's name and racks up another $35K.

Mommy gets fed up and moves in with US! Mommy's on several waiting lists for senior housing (at my insistence), but her credit is fucked so who knows if she can ever move. Mommy throws up her hands passively and her only concern is not getting Baby in trouble.
Sits on her large behind all day and watches TV or goes out to the porch to smoke constantly.

I used to like my MIL.

[Zuiderelle]

17. I'm sorry to hear that about your sons.

That must be very difficult.

[Crazy Dave]

31. Thanks but...

...the more rude they get the easier it is to distance ourselves from them. It's like you're relieved when they don't call for a month.

[leftyclimber]

18. Depends on which way the wind is blowing

When she sends me racist emails slagging my aunt (her SON'S WIFE, and one of the nicest people in the world, for God's sake) for being Mexican, my grandmother.

When he leeches off my parents and causes constant drama (this is about every 9 months or so and has been for about, oh, most of his adult life), my brother.

When he gets extra-special freepy, my dad.

Some days, all of them.

[rainbow4321]

19. My mother..I can predict her "illnesses" 6 months in advance

She has ruined every family event that I have memory of...you know it is bad when I was able to PREDICT and tell my sister (who was 3 months pregnant at the time) that our mother would come down "sick" and cause some sort of drama right when sis was due to give birth six months LATER.
The day after the birth when sis came home, mom was calling her going "I have a 102 fever, YOU have to come over and take me to the hospital". When sis said it was UNwise for a new mom to be exposed to someone with a 102 fever, the story changed to "well, I have no fever but my feet are swollen, I must be in congested heart failure". What followed was a week long hospital stay. Never mind that there were 6 other adult family members in town who she could have called, she calls the one who just gave birth in the last 24 hours.

ANY family event that threatens to take attention away from her (births, weddings, tball games, knowing her adult kids are getting together to have a fun weekend together, etc..) are always overshadowed by her having a "crisis" of some sort.

[Bennyboy]

20. My father...Biggest prick I ever met.......

Fuck him.

[Robeson]

21. Most of the bad seeds have died out. I'm pretty cool with the rest.

[mia]

22. None of them.

I have a very large and emotionally supportive family. It's curious to me that most of them are Republicans.

[mnhtnbb]

24. My sister in law. Die hard Republican. Drives me nuts.

I can only take being around her for about a day and a half.

[XemaSab]

25. My fuckin' uncle

Who moved to Colorado without telling anyone.

My mom has three siblings, and yeah, one of them fucking left the state without telling ANYONE ANYTHING.

Fuck you, Uncle Scott.

[mitchum]

26. None of them

We maintain distances, but we all love and support one another. I know that I'm lucky

[BulletproofLandshark]

27. My soon-to-be-ex-BIL.

He walked out on my sister and their two young girls last October, and he started shacking up with some skank from work a month later. On top of that, I work at the same place as the two of them (on a different shift, fortunately). He wants to sell the house he moved out of, with complete disregard for my sister and my nieces. He refused to share his $1200 incentive check, and used the money to see a lawyer while my sister (who has stayed home for the last six years to take care of the kids) had to borrow money to do the same. If there weren't children in the equation, I would wish very bad things upon him. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.

[Fox Mulder]

28. My grandma and my sister.

[sakabatou]

29. My mom

I hate to say it, but she's a pain in the ass.

[liberaltrucker]

30. Everyone but Mom and my kid brother

Rest are assholes.

Damn, that felt good!

:)

[Shakespeare]

32. My fundie white trash republican cousons.

Yes, I said white trash. There's no other way to describe them as accurately.