Have you got any names for a rock band that haven't been thought of yet?

[robertpaulsen]

I just came across Jello Biafra's list of 95 names:

From: The 1987 spoken word album No More Cocoons. For people who need them.

Current Tally: Several of the band names listed below already existed prior to the recording of this list, a couple were used for illustrative examples (Night Ranger & Sonic Youth), while still others (whether coincidentally or purposely) have been adopted since. Of the 95 bands listed by Biafra:
¤ 5 Existed (or were used for examples) prior to the release of his 1987 list and
¤ 6 Have been adopted (one taken by Jello himself)
¤ 12 Now exist in partial or condensed form

Prediction: Putting a slant on David Byrne's truism, "There are a finite number of jokes in the universe" and applying the rule to band names, by the year 2019, every one of Biafra's suggestions will have been used. It's a lot more likely than the passage of a law requiring downtown San Francisco businessmen to wear clown suits - no?



1. The Lone Cowboys
2. Leatherwolf
3. Night Ranger
4. Psychefunkapus
5. Youth of Today
6. Angry Youth
7. Bored Youth
8. Bored Suburban Youth
9. White Suburban Youth
10. Youth Army
11. Wasted Youth
12. Young Youth
13. Old Youth
14. Dead Youth
15. Generic Youth
16. Senile Youth
17. Redundant Youth
18. Mondale
19. Magnum Jihad
20. Earth Fart
21. Pork Barrel
22. The Dentists
23. Electric Meat
24. Pink Meat
25. Anchovy Smegma
26. Terrorists For Peace
27. Black Lung
28. Zion Popsicle
29. My Sweet Slaughterhouse
30. Pets Eat Their Master
31. Hunk
32. Tits, Ass & Money
33. The Absentee Thought Lords
34. Criminal Spa
35. War Cookies
36. Republican Buttocks
37. ShutUp And Buy
38. Frankenchrist
39. Peeping Tom Collins
40. Chocolate Fetus
41. Great Wall Of Goat Urine
42. Tumor Circus
43. Mosquito Cleavage
44. Criss Masturbation
45. Uranium Playpen
46. King Pork
47. Madonna Death Cult
48. Peppermint Leprosy
49. Angel Pus
50. The Magic Truncheons
51. The Lone Derangers
52. Three-Mile Colostomy
53. The Gingerbread Werewolves
54. Satan's Buttermilk
55. Air Guitar
56. The Janitors Of Anarchy
57. Lost Orgasm
58. Root Canal
59. Be My Urinal
60. Bark On Cue
61. The Crotch Puppets
62. Magnum Dada
63. God
64. Can Four More Die?
65. Fun With Treason
66. You're Fired
67. Video Sex Pope
68. Al Sharpton's Hair
69. Cancer Cures Everything
70. South Africa
71. John Wayne On Acid
72. Rogue Boner
73. Radio-Free Pig Vomit
74. The Ku-Klux Flintstones
75. Elvis Rehnquist
76. Crushed Velvet Vivisection
77. Dracula Was Gay
78. Witch Penis
79. The Manson Surfers
80. Bank Of Sodom
81. Keystone Stormtroopers
82. Sausage Gone Wrong
83. Aryan Embarrassment
84. Frankie Goes To The Bathroom
85. The Doomsday Pop-Tarts
86. Autistic Chainsaw
87. Bono's Charred Remains
88. Sell Your Mom
89. Pneumonia Wranglers
90. Helter Syringe
91. The Imperial Turdsicles
92. Primer Gray Erection
93. Failure
94. Fraud
95. 6 Million Jews


http://rateyourmusic.com/list/JohnBuckWLD/jello_biafras_new_and_improved_names_for_bands__he_writes_them_down__why_dont_you_


Here's some I thought of:

Salt of the Pluto
The Ethanol Satellites
Heckuva Turd Brownie
Radioactive Bitch
John Lennon and the Brian Epstein Experience
Manchurian Chlamydia
Soul Honkies
The Enlightened Stereotypes
What the Fuck was THAT?!
I am a Fugitive from a Cheney Gang-Rape

[flvegan]

1. Paco Rabinowitz and The Pips

[robertpaulsen]

13. Dennis Kucinich and the Impeachmints could open for them.

[ghostsofgiants]

2. "Tits, Ass & Money" and "God" are the best band names I've heard in a while.

[PVnRT]

3. Leon Trotsky and the Ice Picks

[robertpaulsen]

7. I like it!

They could go on tour with Anastasia's Amnesia. Or perhaps Cyborg Rasputin.

[SacredCow]

4. One of the bands I was in during college...

repeatedly changed names, and they were invariably bizzare names. It was kind of an homage to the Python sketch from which "Toad the Wet Sprocket" gleaned its name.

I want to start a drag band now- "Jane Russell and the Full Figured Gals"

[robertpaulsen]

18. Wow! I didn't see that Python sketch.

And I love your drag band name. Will it have a Big Band sound?

[SacredCow]

20. The sketch was called "Rock News" or something like that...

This is the script:

Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with Toad the Wet Sprocket has had to have an elbow removed following their recent successful worldwide tour of Finland. Flamboyant ambidextrous Rex apparently fell off the back of a motorcycle. "Fell off the back of a motorcyclist, most likely," quipped ace drummer Jumbo McCluney upon hearing of the accident. Plans are already afoot for a major tour of Iceland.

Divorced after only eight minutes, popular television singing star, Charisma, changed her mind on the way out of the registry office, when she realized she had married one of the Donkeys by mistake. The evening before in LA's glittering nightspot, the Abitoir, she had proposed to drummer Reg Abbot of Blind Drunk, after a whirlwind romance and a knee-trembler. But when the hangover lifted, it was Keith Sly of the Donkeys who was on her arm in the registry office. Keith, who was too ill to notice, remained unsteady during the short ceremony and when asked to exchange vows, began to recite names and addresses of people who also used the stuff. Charisma spotted the error as Keith was being carried into the wedding ambulance and became emotionally upset. However, the mistake was soon cleared up, and she stayed long enough to consummate their divorce.

Dead Monkeys are to split up again, according to their manager, Lefty Goldblatt. They've been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became for a while, Trout. Then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, the re-formed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from death. It turned out to be only a rumor and they became Dead Together, then Dead Gear, which lead to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable split up. After nearly ten days, they reformed again as Sole Manier, then Dead Sole, Rock Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Baith, the Places, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon, Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon In A White Wine Sauce, Salmon-monia, and Helen Shapiro. This last name, their favorite, had to be dropped following an injunction and they split up again. When they reformed after a recordbreaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkeys, a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight later, they've finally split up.

As for JR&TFFG.... I don't know what genre they would be. I personally don't know any other musicians that would be willing to perform in drag, so I guess it's a dead issue!

[XemaSab]

5. The Dick Nixon Revival

:D

[robertpaulsen]

34. I've got a title for the debut album.

"Pardon Me!"

[LeftyMom]

6. I want to call mine It Came from Suburbia

and then do covers with images of tract houses, etc done in the style of 50's B movie posters.

My first album will be Stucco Monolith, named after the mysterious and totally-not-up-to-code object in my Dad's neighbor's back yard.

This assumes, of course, that at the ripe old age of 27, I acquire some as-yet-hidden musical talent.

[robertpaulsen]

9. I've got a single for your band.

"Hey You, Get Off of My Lawn".

[LeftyMom]

11. A epic fifteen minute ode to my dad's War On Crabgrass w/ heavy sampling from Wagner's Ring Cycle.

:thumbsup:

[XemaSab]

30. Or "It Came from Bermuda"

in sort of a 50's, big-band, "Babalu" style.

[PVnRT]

22. Just set it to "Get Off of My Cloud" by the Stones

It should work pretty well.

[Kutjara]

8. "The ShamWows" n/t

[robertpaulsen]

10. German band, right?

You know they make good music there.

[Kutjara]

14. Exactly!

My alternative was "Sham Wow & the Imitations" but it didn't sound as catchy.

[robertpaulsen]

16. Just gave me the idea for another band name.

As Seen on TV.

[Kutjara]

21. I like that one. Or maybe:

Billy Mays and the Kabooms.

[robertpaulsen]

23. That man's voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

How about this:

Solitary Confinement with Billy Mays

[Kutjara]

24. Perfect!

It would have to be a speed metal band, with him out front bellowing his head off, majestic with his boot polish hair and beard.

[underpants]

12. Fudge Puppet

[robertpaulsen]

15. Nice. That could fit a number of different genres.

Acid rock, funk, punk, grunge.

[robertpaulsen]

17. Contribution from a co-worker: Skewered Dead Presidents.

I work for a theatre company and that's exactly what we've been doing to dead Presidents.

[NJmaverick]

19. Fever of Unknown Orgin

[KamaAina]

25. Punk/thrash/hardcore band based in Chicago (or Peoria or wherever):

IlliNOISE.

[graywarrior]

26. Mr Gray's band was Screaming Louie and the Ugly Hand

None of them played instruments. They just drank.

[robertpaulsen]

27. Sounds like great performance art.

Charlie Chuggit and the Enablers.

[XemaSab]

28. Al Kaholic and the Enablers

:P

[robertpaulsen]

32. He should form a band. Can you believe this?

Al Kaholic

Southeast High School, YODER, WY, Class of 1996

http://www.classmates.com/directory/public/memberprofile/list.htm?regId=7492317449

[graywarrior]

49. Ha!

I love that.

[azmouse]

29. Cheesegum

[mikeytherat]

31. Freddie Mac and the Mental Recession

The Mental Recession is the horn section.

mikey_the_rat

[robertpaulsen]

33. Reminds me of a blues artist.

Whining Phil Gramm.

He's got the blues, though his artistry is debatable.

[mikeytherat]

38. "Blind Phillie G" is what they used to call him back in the day.

Totally blind. Could not see the world around him. They say he got his eyesight back and became Whining Phil Gramm, but I'm convinced he's still blind.

mikey_the_rat

[robertpaulsen]

43. I heard back in the day he teamed up with Kennyboy "I'm a terrible" Lay.

Lay is rumored to be hiding out with Elvis now.

[mikeytherat]

35. Fetal Jerky

No flames! I did not come up with this one myself.

mikey_the_rat

[robertpaulsen]

39. Someone else on DU came up with this one - Aborted Fetus Caesar Salad

Personally, I like Fetus Christ. Will be a screaming loud band in the future.

http://www.fetus-christ.de/

[crimsonblue]

36. 1. Fuck it, We'll Do it Live

2. Screwalicious Lovetrain

3. Little George and the Cheneys

4. We're Not That Drunk

5. The John Bolton Moustache Troupe

[robertpaulsen]

41. Great list. I love number 5.

Reminds me of a progressive rock group The Sean Hannity/Cro-Magnon Project. They put a great album Walking Erect.

[mikeytherat]

37. C'mon, fucking guy!

mikey_the_rat

[robertpaulsen]

51. Guantanamo Olive Garden

[kat_kringle]

40. mccain rapes grape apes

if you want to know where i got that from, ask!

:hi:

[robertpaulsen]

44. I'll bite. Where the hell did you get that from?

:)

[kat_kringle]

45. check this out:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/15/sources-recall-mccains-jo_n_112955.html">mcCain ape rape joke recalled...

then i just added grape. cause who couldn't love the grape ape?

[robertpaulsen]

46. I heard his wife is in a band.

Pill Poppin' Pilsner Princess.

[kat_kringle]

48. really?

i thought it was vicious vicodin vixen w/a vengeance

[robertpaulsen]

50. Yes, but the name changed when she hooked up with John.

Vicious Vicoden Vixen with a Vengeful Vietnam Vet

[grace0418]

42. Hunka Sumthin

That's always been my hypothetical band name.

[begin_within]

47. Lease Breakers

[two gun sid]

52. 'Pee On A Public Toilet Seat'