Living with opposite-sex roommates

[friedgreentomatoes]

Has anybody here lived with roommates of the opposite-sex? I am a girl and looking at a housing option where the other occupant is a guy. I really donno what to do, cause the offer is really good otherwise.
My primary concern is not cleaning up and stuff. It is more about safety, if u know what i mean..
Let me know all your horror stories and fairy tales..

[ThomCat]

1. I am a guy who has had women housemates for years.

I lived with my friend Tracey for 10 years. Back in college I shared a house with 4 women. It was never much of an issue. :shrug:

[friedgreentomatoes]

11. hmmm

was she your friend for a considerable amount of time before u became roomies? my problem is this guy is a total stranger, but known personally to the landlord.

[ThomCat]

14. Tracey was my friend for years.

The four women in college were strangers when they moved in with me.

[VenusRising]

2. I've only ever lived with guys that I was friends with already.

They all worked out pretty well. Normal roommate stuff like trash, dishes, clean up after yourself. If you have good communication skills it shouldn't be too difficult to work out. I just don't think that I would be comfortable living with a guy that I didn't know, though. That's just me.

I hope your situation works out for the best.

:hi:

[PaddyBlueEyes]

3. I was meaning to ask you

can I have my argyle socks and leather chaps back now...I mean its been years.

[VenusRising]

5. No way!

You lost those fair and square. I told you not to play that game with circus people, but did you listen? NoooOOOOoooo!

:P

[PaddyBlueEyes]

8. yeah but the yak women

got me drunk.....

[VenusRising]

12. Whatever.

That's your excuse for everything.

:eyes:

[PaddyBlueEyes]

15. which

the drunk part or the yak women part??

[VenusRising]

24. Yes.

:P

[friedgreentomatoes]

13. that..

..is exactly what i feel, the stranger thing.
Thanks for the wishes.

[Runcible Spoon]

4. get drunk with them before they move in and if you sleep with them, nix the roommate deal.

Of course, I'm assuming you're straight. For ANY situations, you don't wanna live with someone where there is unrequited sexual tension, especially if it's just the two of you. I skirted the issue when I lived with 5 other people.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

6. Hoo boy

Ive been there too. It sucks....(most of the time :evilgrin: )

[friedgreentomatoes]

18. yes...

it is just the two of us.
I am not straight, but i dont know what he is.

[Connonym]

7. marriage is a good way to get rid of any sexual tension

does that sound too cynical?

[PaddyBlueEyes]

10. hahahahaha

sorry. You know the old joke right?

[friedgreentomatoes]

20. not cynical...

...but sadly i dont have the time
:P

[Zavulon]

9. If you haven't known the guy for years, don't even think about it.

I've only heard stories second-hand, but those I've heard all involve what you're afraid of.

[friedgreentomatoes]

23. Hmmm... n/t

[Zavulon]

30. I got these stories from friends

who knew the people involved. Two of those stories in particular would deprive you of sleep for weeks.

Again, if you haven't known the guy for years, don't even think about it. You'd need to trust him like you would trust a sibling that you actually like. If you don't, a convenient housing option just isn't worth the risk unless you're twice his size.

[friedgreentomatoes]

32. he is..

...twice my size :(

[Zavulon]

34. Then you have my advice.

I'm sure if you were to talk to the victims in the stories I heard, they'd say something like "If I knew that was coming, even homelessness would have been preferable."

You're better off not hearing them, trust me. Worst thing is that there was never a prosecution involved because both cases were "he said, she said."

[XemaSab]

31. I had a female roommate be sexually aggressive towards a male roommate

Used to show up in his bed nekkid all the time.

She was nuts. :P

[Zavulon]

33. And how did he handle it?

That sort of situation is a big bag of trouble. If she decides he really likes him and his affection is limited to the sex only, that guy gets a free preview of hell.

[XemaSab]

40. He was totally oblivious and nothing happened

He only wised up to what a skank she was when his hometown girlfriend came to visit and Leona tried to seduce her. :eyes:

[Zavulon]

44. This thread is useless without pictures

;)

[PaddyBlueEyes]

35. You say that

like its a bad thing.....

[XemaSab]

41. Did I mention she was 6 feet tall, willowy, blonde, blue-eyed, and totally beautiful?

She was also a psycho freak, and she has probably gone on to make some man's life hell. :o

[PaddyBlueEyes]

43. Well

sometimes hell is worth it..LOL

[crimsonblue]

45. hey don't call my girl a freak!

[Pierre.Suave]

48. I think I know this girl

seriously.

is her name Lisa by any chance? :rofl:

[XemaSab]

51. Leona

:P

[Lethe]

16. i lived with two girls for a long time

one was a brunette and the other was a bouncy blonde.

The landlord thought I was gay so he didn't bother us much about it.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

19. Hey Jack

meet ya at the beagle....

[Lethe]

38. .

.

[Lethe]

39. Let's cut this thing loose!

Woah!

[DarkTirade]

17. Yes, and I've encountered both good and bad situations.

It really just depends on the people.

[Withywindle]

21. Yes, plenty of times.

(I'm a woman). Really no reason it should matter.


Or, actually, full disclosure--if worst came to worst most of the time I'd prefer to live with men, because I've found them to be generally far more compatibly laid-back and tolerant in matters of loud music and lax housekeeping. But OTOH, the #1 person in my life who taught me the most useful tricks and tips about cleaning wasn't my mom or any woman, it was a male friend/roommate who had some OCD issues and had worked for a cleaning service in Seattle.

[Lethe]

27. i lived with a person with slight OCD tendencies once.....

they absolutely refused to throw anything out. Like if they ate all the potato chips, they wouldn't throw the bag away, they just put it back in the cabinet....if they drank all the milk, they would put the empty milk carton back in the fridge. It was absolutely maddening. (they refused to touch the trash or take it out)

Also, they would alphabetize the contents of the fridge and cabinet and make sure everything is lined up in 90 degree angles and straight lines. I would make it a point to muss the whole thing up.

[Withywindle]

37. That sounds like hoarding.

I've known some people with that issue too. I think there's a bit of it in me, in that I have way too much stuff, way too many things I won't part with because of the sentimental value, and I can never do the "spare, minimalist" interior design style because I need to have all my books and music and knicknacks out in view to tell my life story to myself. (Does not extend to empty food packaging and other trash items, though).


I guess I have more experience with it in the form of germ-freaks and neat-freaks - neither of which I can relate to AT ALL.

[Tektonik]

22. I lived with a girl last year

It wasn't a problem at all. She was just another person at the house.

[NNadir]

25. I did it 4 times.

Once when I was 18, but the woman and I ended up sleeping together even though she moved in with her boyfriend. Then she started sleeping with my other roomate.

You can only do that sort of thing when you're 18.

I lived with another woman when I was in my 20's, but I kept my own apartment though I rarely visited it.

She had to move to another city, so we just kissed and said goodbye.

Then I moved in with an old friend and his wife. They turned out to be a pretty violent pair - I didn't know that when I moved in - they got a divorce. I stayed in the house and then had to deal with all of these weird scary boyfriends.

It sucked.

I invited a woman I loved very much to move in with me even though she told me she wasn't interested in a relationship. I was up front about loving her though. We lived together for a year before we married and are now in our 23rd year of marriage.

[bluesbassman]

26. Had a female roomie for a year. Worked out fine.

But my advice is to check out his friends. Assuming you're comfortable around him, the real test is how comfortable are you with his friends. If they give you pause, nix the deal.

[XemaSab]

29. That's good advice

It'll give you an indication of what he's like. Is he a frat boy type, a D&D nerd, a stoner, a wierd freak...?

[Lethe]

36. D&D nerds make great roommates

excepting the fact that you're not gonna be able to keep Cheetos and Mountain Dew in the house for more than a day or so.

[XemaSab]

28. I have had opposite-sex roommates and some of them have been terrific

and some of them have been horrible.

The simple lesson that will get you through: be friends with them, but don't date them. If you date them your life will turn to shit.

Good luck! :hi:

[HEyHEY]

42. I have lived with four different women now

It's great. The gender differences help you balance things out. As for safety, unless you don't know the guy at all, why would you worry?

[Callalily]

46. I have a friend who

always had male room mates. Of course she'd ask for references. Every room mate was just fine.

As far as the "cleaning up stuff"? That's not gender specific.

Good luck!

[RetroLounge]

47. Yes, but we got divorced.

RL

[tigereye]

49. yeah, I ended up married to one!

but I lived with plenty of other guys (I am female) and it was never a problem, except for one housemate who seemed to think he could come down and entice me into his bed in the middle of the night when I was studying. I said no, and that was the end of it.


so no major problems.

[leeroysphitz]

50. NEWSFLASH: Not all men are rapists, if u know what i mean.. n/t

[davsand]

52. I found it preferable to living with other women.

In spite of an unfortunate incident with a guy that was a "FOF" I usually preferred life with male housemates. There was a lot less overall stress and a whole ot less "bitchiness" to deal with out of men. I lived a group house with three men at one point and I had a very positive experience with that. Household "chores" were rotated around and nobody got real uptight. It did evolve into a situation, however, where I did most of the cooking and minimal cleaning because they liked my cooking and I saved them money by cooking from scratch. (I even baked bread...) It got to a point where we had buddies coming by for dinner more often than not. I kinda enjoyed being exempt from running a Hoover or scrubbing a toilet and they ate cheap and well.


The one bad experience I had sharing space with a male was a guy that was known to a friend of mine but not to me. We both needed to share expenses and on the surface it sounded like a good deal because he worked as staff in a group home for autistic kids and stayed overnight there five days a week. Things were ok, at first, but I noticed he tended to drink an awful lot when he was there at home. I had my life he had his--no big thing.

The first major issue came when I woke up and found him standing in my bedroom. The next night, I had been at work all day and came home to find him drunk. I told him I was gonna take a bath and soak before heading out for the evening and I locked myself in the bathroom. He was pounding on the bathroom door screaming at me that I "belonged" at home with him. After a few minutes of that I finally told him I'd stay home with him, but that I wanted a bottle of wine to drink--would he please go and get one. When he left I got out of that apartment and stayed gone.

I moved out that following week while he was at work.



Laura

[Xithras]

53. Had several in college. Slept with all of them.

From a womans perspective, I think the difference between a good male roomate and a bad one would be simple. A good male roomate will sleep with you in a heartbeat if you're interested and give him an opportunity. A bad male roomate will try to sleep with you even if you're NOT. Luckily for my 18/19 year old younger self, mine all were :) Hey, we were teenagers, whaddaya expect?

Personally, I wouldn't suggest going into a 2 person roomate situation with a person you don't know, because you don't know what kind of person he is and you're looking at spending a LOT of time alone with him. I wouldn't worry about it as much if there are more people involved (we had FIVE people in our rented home) because even if one IS creepy, you usually have witnesses to keep the person in check.