Gibson starting preproduction of "Passion" sequel.

[DrWeird]

Melbourne- Although it has not actually been released yet, Hollywood buzz indictates that "Mel Gibson's: The Passion" will be a smash success. Work has already begun on a sequel, tentatively entitled, "Passion II: The Second Coming."

Producers of the first film have tried to keep the plot of the first film underwraps. They even shot three alternative endings. Yet leaks have apeared on the internet and it looks like the lead character gets killed off.

"Yeah, I've just signed off on the options for the contract extension," says Robert Englund (Jesus). "I'm afraid I've become a bit typecast," he added, "always get killed off by enraged villagers, magical powers and all that, but they always seem to get me to come back for more sequels."

"I'm really excited about the production values," says actor Rip Torn (Satan), "the first was real low budget, no special effects, or nothing. But they've pulled out all the stops for the sequel. Jerry (Bruckheimer)'s co-producing, John (Woo)'s directing. We've got ILM (Industrial Light and Magic) doing the special effects, and Frank Oz has signed on as our lead puppeteer. It's going to be a blockbuster."

Mum's the word on whether or not there will be a third or fourth coming. But Madonna, who has been opted to replace the original Mary, says "the way this script is written, it would be a sin not to have another sequel."

[name not needed]

1. this better be a joke

[mouse7]

2. My buzz source says...

... the name for the sequel is Lethal Passion II.

[darkstar]

3. No joke, I don't think

I hear that a major hang-up is they are having difficulty with backing via product placement. So far Mogan-David is the only company to buck up, but of course, with labels out of place in Jesus's time, they are only relying on their product's distinctive dark burgundy red color as a brand identifier.

Other product makers simply don't have the juice to get H-wood style funding together, i.e. mostly companies that have limited distribution into "head shops" and "alternative lifestyle" stores. One maker of hemp sandles, however, is rumoured to be willing to play ball if their distinctive, leaf shaped inter-toe weave is allowed a total of 7 seconds in medium tight close up.

[JaySherman]

5. Oh, brother.

:puke:

[NightTrain]

4. This is from The Onion, right?

I mean, there's no way that can be for real! Right? please tell me I'm right, or satire as we know it will eventually cease to exist!