Pap Smears had to have been invented by men grrrrrrr

[greenbriar]

had my annual check up today


did not think I was going to have to do "that" as I have had a hysterectomy 15 years ago and had a smear last year

ugggggggggg

just about the most degrading thing EVER



and next week...yea me...I get to have a mamogram even tho I had one of those last year as well


Bla

being 41 is not it's all cracked up to be.


"rant off"

[greenbriar]

1. Oh and waiting on blood work results to see if I have abnormal counts

but doc seems to think my getting sick and feeling sick all the time has to do with my gastro tract??????????

[greenbriar]

2. My Dr called, the blood results look good except for High TRIGLYCERIDES

so that is good because if it were cancer, it would show up in the blood work right?

[Midlodemocrat]

3. No. It wouldn't. Unless he did a CA-125 which is for

reproductive cancer or if you have high calcium levels which are sometimes indicative.

[femmocrat]

4. Mammograms had to be invented by the Marquis de Sade.

I dread going for it. I actually get black and blue from being squished and mauled.

[libnnc]

6. I had mine a couple of weeks ago

thought I would die

x( x( x( x( x(

it's the side picture that hurts me the most

the image they get from the front doesn't hurt as bad for some reason

[pokerfan]

9. I have a friend who trains for her mammograms

She has three exercises:

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.

EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again. You are now properly prepared!

[Skittles]

11. hey have you had the new DIGITAL FILM YET?

they took TWELVE PICS of me instead of the usual FOUR

[Lautremont]

5. I know a band (all 17-18 year old young ladies) called The Pap Smears.

Good name? Bad name? What do you think?

[Manifestor_of_Light]

7. invented by Doctor Pap. Look it up.

A Greek doctor whose name is a longer form of Pap.

[WCGreen]

13. well, if you got a Papadapolopolis Smear...

You might be getting somthing on a Pita...

The smear part always made me think of something on a bagel.

[mcctatas]

8. You just need to learn how to keep control of the reins...

when your feet are in the stirrups;)

[Skittles]

10. OMG WHEN GUYS COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FINGER IN THE ASS

I tell them when it's a nail file and your ANAL WALL GETS SCRAPED, get back to me :o

[greenbriar]

12. no kidding

I had to have a colposcopy last year and I thought I was going to DIE


and everything was normal

[mcctatas]

14. Complain????

I know guys who pay good money for that;)

[Skittles]

15. DOESN'T COUNT WHEN IT'S THEIR DOCTOR, MCCTATAS

no INDEED!!! :7

[datasuspect]

22. i would never complain about a finger in my ass.

[FloridaJudy]

16. Why on earth did you need a pap smear?

Unless your hysterectomy was for cancer, it's not indicated. And a yearly mammogram strikes me as a bit much for someone 41, unless - like me - you have a strong family history of breast cancer. I've done that sort of thing (annual exams) for a living, and I'm pretty familiar with the guidelines. Of course, if you have Medicaid/Medicare all bets are off: they won't reimburse for an annual without a pap smear, but I always point out to the client that she has the right to refuse. In that case I can write "offered and declined" on the chart, and still bill for all the other stuff.

I got smart decades ago, and now have a woman doctor and radiologist. My family doc warms the speculums, and my radiologist not only warms the equipment she pads it strategically. It's still not a thrill a minute, but it's infinitely more comfortable than it used to be. Not all male doctors are callous, but the female ones - having been there - work hard to minimize the ick/ouch factor.

[greenbriar]

17. I had an abnormal smear over a year ago and now have to have them

annually


My doctor is pretty adament about regular check ups and things. I wonder if it is because we have great insurance and the doctor knows it will pay?

[sir_captain]

19. Or perhaps

your doctor wants you to stay healthy....just a thought. :shrug:

[FloridaJudy]

21. Good reason.

The guidelines only apply to women who've had hysterectomies and never had an abnormal smear.

[ET Awful]

18. Ya know, there's a local band in Los Angeles (or was 10 years ago) called . . .

Mister Ectomy

I thought it was funny :P

[one mean sheath]

20. word.

also unpleasant: colposcopies and double cervical biopsies.
that was in april and i get to do it all over again in october.

stupid lady parts doctors.