Hell is other people. A loner post-

[callous taoboy]

Accidentally bumped into this Sartre quote after spending two lonely weeks on vacation at the beach. After researching the quote it resonated with me in a big fucking way. I've been distancing myself from old friends lately and it is because they have made too many comments about me that have ultimately left me, over time, feeling much maligned. I'm tired of that and feel like I've done nothing to warrant it. But then my loneliness is a drag, too.

Here's a Salon article on this quote that I found interesting:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2006/08/16/fewer_friends/

Article stems from a sociology study that found that Americans are trending toward having fewer friends. Interesting study.

[Fran Kubelik]

1. ...

:hug:

[ForrestGump]

2. I know that feeling

So did Lee:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dEKDCwf9XU

Actually, from the same production, Harve Presnell also had a thing or two to say about it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCgLNuXSaSc

It's an old and time-honored theme and it can sometimes suck most immensely that (among many other aspects related to what you say) one of the flipsides of untrammeled personal freedom, withing societal constraints, can be loneliness...solitude can be bliss or hell, and sometimes both at the same time.

[callous taoboy]

4. I appreciate those, Mr. Gump. You might enjoy this Berliner's

version of wandering star:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=802PPBTqqJQ&feature=related

[Lilith Velkor]

9. Cowboys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL8lY5372Ec

(Wandering Star reminded me of Portishead, which reminded me of this tune.)

[DarkTirade]

3. Odd that I was just thinking about posting this...

http://waiterrant.net/?p=235

[last_texas_dem]

5. Callous Taoboys, I know the feeling

of being lonely and I'm sorry to hear about what you're dealing with right now. I don't consider myself a true loner, so much as a shy, strongly introverted person with a few, good close friendships, little use for casual friendships, and not much in common with the "average" person out there (never enjoyed "mixing" at all- not 'cause I really dislike people, so much as I just rarely feel like they "get" me)- so I definitely feel loneliness and feel like an oddball from time to time. I know what you mean about letting some old friendships go. For me, it mostly just had to deal with realizing that I had little in common with someone (anymore) even if I didn't really have anything against them, and hanging out had just gotten to be too awkward. (And I think both sides of the friendship were kind of guilty of letting this happen.) There are definitely people that I wish I did a better job of staying in touch with regularly, and vice versa, though... I have managed to keep the friends that matter to me close, though; they're the ones that really matter to me... Interestingly, the article points out that most Americans are losing touch with close friends but keeping more casual friendships. I guess it's been mostly opposite for me. Lately, I care much less about holding on to the casual ones, while the close ones have become more important to me.

[callous taoboy]

7. People not getting you... Big source of frustration right now-

It seems as though a lot of folks I am around (colleagues, potential friends, neighbors) don't even put much effort in trying to get to know me, and believe me I am not some stand-offish ogre. I am really very personable. I just don't like shallowness.

Last summer I visited my old soul brother-in-arms, and though we enjoyed the comfort of familiarity and common world-view, the old spark was just an occasional flicker. I was prepared to have the old all night, wrist-pulling intense back and forth like the old days, but we sat around watching T.V. I opted out of a visit again this summer and I think this may have soured our friendship a bit. Plus, his wife is one who has much maligned me as a person with a few catty comments, and I have a few other things I could be doing than sitting around getting torn down. My old friend even reacted in a bizarre way to something I said one evening, and his reaction clammed me up for the rest of the night as I mulled over in my head what he might have meant. In other words, that was an evening when the "Hell is other people" quote would have helped contextualize the situation for me.

[BarenakedLady]

10. You sound a lot like me.

[Guava Jelly]

6. Great article.

"Forming new friendships requires a certain chemistry, much as romantic relationships do, and the older we get, the more we have to approach friendships the same way."

[callous taoboy]

8. Yeah, that line struck me too...

Romance? Eh, what's that? I have not had chemistry with the opposite sex in years: No lingering looks, no blush and look away response. Nada. Romance, intellectual curiosity I compare to all of the other great natural resources out there that are simply drying up.

[Guava Jelly]

11. Kick for a great article

:D