Okay. Not looking for pity but just a vent. DUMPED AGAIN!

[crim son]

Yes, I REALIZE I must exude a certain "air de desperation" but WHY do I attract people who need more mental health repair than I do? Why does everybody want to "learn from me" and "grow"? Why can't IIIII be the one who gets to learn and grow? (stamps feet) It's simply ridiculous that somebody as fucked up as I am should be the "adult" in the relationship.

...whimpering...daddy...

*snort*

[Pierre.Suave]

1. Oh my dear Crim son...

I dont have any advice, only hugs...

:hug:

[crim son]

5. I'll take 'em.

I need to walk away but as you know, haven't been able to do it. The extremes between "love" and "fuck you" are so vast that I cannot believe the one or t'other. A hug back, just because you don't understand how deep are my feelings for datasuspect. :hug: :hug:

[Pierre.Suave]

7. I hope he returns them

kindly.

:hug:

[ThomCat]

2. If he is in need of a psychiatric nanny then you don't want to be dating him.

Being dumped sucks, but it may be for the best.

:hug:
I really, truly, hope for good things for you.

[crim son]

6. It's not for the best. He'll be back within the week; sooner if I write him.

The problem is he is my mirror. We are both in need of something and find the similarities irresistable and the similarities devastating. Plus, the fringe benefits. God has never before served up such fringe benefits... :eyes: No, I'm not kidding! I was married for seventeen frigid years!

[ThomCat]

14. If the sex is really good

then I hope you can enjoy that without getting saddled with too much of his baggage. Whatever happens, I hope this makes your life better, not worse.

:loveya:

[crim son]

27. Thank you but I'm female.

I cannot enjoy great sex without feeling great responsibility. It sucks.

[Maddy McCall]

107. That's not "female."

That's part of your problem that you need to work on.

Having sex with people who "need more mental care than <you> do" is reckless.

[MilesColtrane]

118. You're like the female, sexual Spiderman.

"With great orgasms comes great responsibility."

I guess I can relate. I've never been a "casual" kind of guy.

Sorry for your pain.

[Inchworm]

3. I love you!

not enough prolly, but I would grab yer butt in a hug.

:hug:

[crim son]

8. D'ya mean my "bloated ass"?

(per the last breakup letter) I would consider you to be very daring indeed, to venture to hug such a monstrosity, and therefore I appreciate your comment all the more. :hug:

[Inchworm]

10. shall we dwindle by the fire?

or perchance dilly by the daily air conditioning?

neither.. mebbe..

WoW.. WTH is my beer? ...hic!

:P

[crim son]

13. Where can I buy that fire?

I mean, if it has dwindling capabilities...Sigh. Can I have a sip?

[Inchworm]

16. I kiss ever so innocently

and DO NOT share my beer :D

:rofl:

[crim son]

21. How about your vodka?

Don't want to pressure you or anything... :D

[Inchworm]

23. I know one person that loves vodka

ya'll can fight.

:P

PS: it will be a fight I think :D

[crim son]

32. Name her.

It may happen that we are the best of friends.

[Inchworm]

34. I'll be expecting a check

I only relinquish facts based on cash ;)

:yoiks:

[crim son]

40. My seven bucks wings its way.

How about a teaser?

[Inchworm]

46. do I get a beer?!?

*sigh*

so many details!!

:hug:

[crim son]

63. Can't help but laugh, having just sent you something POIGNANT

and MEANINGFUL.

I don't drink beer. Would you like a bit of rum with guava nectar an a dash of orange? That, or take me to Mexico.

[Inchworm]

66. poignent means within 6 inches?

All this math!!

*shakes head*

:hi:

[Name removed]

69. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[rebel with a cause]

19. It sounds like you may be involved in an

relationship where both of you enable the other. There are many problems with these relationships one being that they are so co-dependent that one or the other of the couple will usually resent the other one because of that dependency. The sex may be good because of the special connection you have and the problems that arise in the relationship. In the end, if this is an enabling situation, you are better to let it go, work on your own problems by yourself and then let yourself be open to a relationship with someone who is not both overly needy and resentful toward you. He insults you to make himself feel better about himself.

Been in a bad relationship (marriage) and I would never let myself be in a situation where I would have to trust a man, because I could never trust another man to have any power over me.

[Inchworm]

24. there is lust yanno/

gawd.

:P

[rebel with a cause]

26. There is lust,

but then there is something that passes for lust. When you are in a relationship where the man makes you feel like shit when he wants to, lust just does not explain it usually. There is a difference between healthy lust and the needs that come from an unhealthy relationship. Accepting abusive treatment is usually a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Oh, and yes I realize that make up sex is sometimes the best. Still not a good reason to accept abuse.

[Inchworm]

30. Dude u are a trip

Why would one say so many things by typing so many words uninhibited by breaks on a given evening while wearing perfectly cornered shirts in a bar located quietly in the corner of a solemn hamlet? Wouldn't it be much easier to state your remarks in explosive statements where people turn their heads to read? Love is a trip. Enabling situations are just the same. Cucumbers make pickles.

Sex

:hi:

[crim son]

33. fuck you asshole

this is mine. :hi:

[Inchworm]

37. Tighten up chicky

:rofl:

[crim son]

41. Apparently you are fucked.

Enjoyable, no?

[Inchworm]

50. not unusual

:)

[crim son]

59. You remind me of me earlier this evening.

You want me to take the blame? I take it. I am very used to taking the blame and will suffer no ill effects.

Hurt me with something else, like your volatile scent, I say. Blame I not only accept but embrace because it makes everybody else feel so chipper.

[Inchworm]

64. I'm sorry

I meant nothing of the sort. I was just bouncing back and forth with you.

Blame for what, even?

:(

[crim son]

73. Inchworm, EVERYTHING has deep meaning!

Laughing. At how foolish it all is. Then sweet, thinking how you try to accommodate.

[Inchworm]

75. but.. but..

butt!

Woohoo!

:woohoo:

[crim son]

80. Make your point.

You remind me of the twenty-something, bearded mainer with no degree who yet hopes for somebody busty and liberal. God. Perhaps you are him, and who can blame you, either?

[Inchworm]

82. I think you'd dig me, meany

are you busty or liberal? I'm bein curious. You like RC Cola?

*kiss kiss*

:*

[crim son]

89. Fuck You, you made me laugh.

All carbonation is poison, and I wonder if McCain really meant harm when he revealed Obamas prospecteive visit to the ME. KILL ME!

How fucked up are you?

[Inchworm]

92. ok wait.. dude.. really.. hold...

is seltzer ok?

:rofl:

[crim son]

98. Call and display your brilliance!

Or send your number and dull me into complacence.]]\\\\

Quick, I can barely type. -l

[Inchworm]

103. Shit! I was jammin to music... I assume I'm late

I know your number.

#1

:*

[crim son]

81. Ah.

The Male. How... how...

How to be polite... I could not say, being old and discriminating.

[Inchworm]

83. h.

The Female.

Interesting creature.

Sweet, lovely, hearty and enduring.

Weee!

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

48. However uninvited the criticism is Crimmie

there is some truth to what he/she is saying for relationships in general.

I know that I can't fill my "hole" in my soul with a relationship

a guy in a big red truck won't do it either.

it may seem like much more or something different, but ultimately we are all the same... we all seek to fill that hole one way or the other.

Realizing that the hole can't be filled with people, places, things, substances, etc. is an awareness that leads to an enlightenment from which I know you have been to.

don't take this wrong sweetie

:hug: :hug: :hug:

you know I love you! :D :loveya:

[crim son]

53. Red Truck guy didn't answer.

I'll call him again but that is not because I disregard you. l IT's because THREE MEN called and yelled at me and I need to disregard somebody. I'll post this after my next call to J. He hates me so it should be amusing. Phone dead.

You could berate me but I would not hear! Sleep PP.

[SPKrazy]

57. Here's that song I told you I'd send you

I'll pm it to you as well


http://youtube.com/watch?v=7Y26KpgZknY

:hug:

nite crimmie :hi:

[rebel with a cause]

39. whatever

Nothing explosive to say. In fact time to say adieu. Bye bye. :hi:

[Inchworm]

42. night nite

I'm prolly mean, but I love youuuu!

:loveya:

[crim son]

44. What are you on, man?

And can I have a toke?

[Inchworm]

47. life

umm.. and beer.. and wine :D

:hide:

[crim son]

65. I understand that.

May it not grow into anything unwieldy.

[crim son]

67. So life treats you like the monarch you are?

Felicity.

[Inchworm]

68. I loooove youuuu

right on the kisser!

:*

[crim son]

74. OMG/.

Perhaps we are related.

[Inchworm]

76. re you goin to this "hell" place too?

they keep telling me that.

:yoiks:

[crim son]

78. That made me laugh.

You're not going to sleep, are you? Why not? And are you hiccupping? I am, like crazy. ANd, are you sane? A passing query.L

[Inchworm]

84. I won't til you stop posting!!!

Muahahaha!

I have 2 6-packs of my beer plus 2 bottles of the ghetto wine I'm drinking, lol

Glad you smiled woman1!

Woohoo!

...hic!

psyche.

[crim son]

87. Why "psyche"

Curious, you drunk fool.

[Inchworm]

93. askin the wrong guy

I have no clue what I meant!

:P

[crim son]

100. Grroovy

and it took me a minute to manage the fingering.

[Z_I_Peevey]

119. OT Alert: Your sig photo looks like a real-life

Chatty Cathy doll! How adorable!

[rebel with a cause]

142. Thanks.

I was very quiet in public, but at home I probably was a chatty cathy(although Cathy is my sister's name). I was a funny little kid. :-P

[zanne]

111. He told you you had a "bloated ass"?

To hell with him. Who does he think he is?

[crim son]

9. Jeez, one of these is enough. Dupe.

delete

[Inchworm]

11. No wai!

muahahahaha

:rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

4. I am sorry.

Please do not take this the wrong way...

Once you feel complete within yourself, a beautiful and fulfilling relationship will come. One that has a fairly equal amount of give and take. You deserve nothing less than that.

:hug:

[crim son]

20. How could I take that the wrong way?

:hug:

[Fran Kubelik]

12. You need to stay away from people who hurt/insult you

I'm with Kitchenwitch. Love yourself. It will make it a lot easier to find people who will also love you. Does that make sense? You don't need a guy. Love yourself and your kids. :hug: You know you are smart and have a good heart.
Fuck the assholes. Or rather....don't. ;)

[datasuspect]

15. darlin'

you just need to take me by the hand so i can guide you through this wilderness.

[crim son]

43. Would it were so.

I am a different beast.

[ccharles000]

17. ...

:hug:

[Redstone]

18. Come down to Connecticut for a visit. We'll get you straightened out.

For example, "Learning and Growing" are two utter horseshit concepts, especially when conjoined and expressed. Me, Me, ME, what about MY needs?

Fuck 'em all. What you need is not to "learn and grow," but to have a drink and stuff yourself with BBQ.

Trust me, it works.

Redstone

[Aristus]

22. Aw, crim son...

Come here, sweetie... :hug:

[crim son]

29. Here i am,

fat and old.

[Aristus]

146. You meant

gorgeous and sexy, right? ;-)

[Inchworm]

25. yooooo hoooooo ... u still here?!?!?

:rofl:

:*

[crim son]

28. Yeah.

Here. Dance!

[Inchworm]

31. Weeeee!

*bogies*

:loveya:

[crim son]

35. Hokay, YOU

I just had a conversation...

[Inchworm]

38. Do tell

*elf ears perk*

;)

[crim son]

45. I think perhaps it's time you prove your worth.

I'm bullion. You?

[Inchworm]

51. can you say "bullion" in 6th grade?

I do NOT want broth.. s'alls I know!

:rofl:

[crim son]

54. Ah, and there your wit is wasted.

Still I empathize and will play a couple of scales in your honor. Just poured a drink, see, and the piano calls not than an explanation is necessary or even desirable. Did you answer me?

[Inchworm]

56. play us a song...

I'm golden ;)

:*

[Inchworm]

60. PS: bwak baaawk bwaaak!

jest sayin :D

:hi:

[SPKrazy]

36. You can always make me banana bread or something

and we can hang out together and :evilgrin: see what pops up :P

[crim son]

49. And? I bake, I cook, and still I fail.

The banana read was kingly. I grow tired, and tired of the simple... cannot say... too tired...

[SPKrazy]

52. The place inside you that needs

can only be filled by your own awareness and love of self.

but in the meantime, you can make banana bread etc. and I will eat, and we will not try to fill the void with things that ultimately don't fix it

:hug: :hug: :hug:

can't give you a real hug dammit, but a real hug and the real thing is knowing that you are my dear friend and I love you and your bloated ass :loveya:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[crim son]

55. And I love you and my bloated ass.

It isn't so bloated, you know. Not even adult woman size. Nor is my face so sad and old if he wouldn't keep reminding me how I fail. My phone died. You are my finest friend and advocate. Me, and here is an incoming PM.

[SPKrazy]

62. I'm sure your ass isn't so bloated

and in fact is probably a very fine ass indeed

he can only remind you how he thinks you "fail"

you only fail when you stop trying

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

and I know that while we all take breaks from trying, you never stop, and you are going to get better my dear.

:loveya:

[crim son]

77. My ass gets beeps whenever I walk. Jesus, it cannot be my face.

Pawpicker, I have the worst hiccups. I'd type my sorrow but why bother. Me and the massive ass sit here in my grandmother's chaise and dream...

[SPKrazy]

85. Me too...

dream that is

not in your gm's chaise

but on the couch

dreaming

damn

is it hot in here :evilgrin:

[flvegan]

58. You, dumped?

I have to suggest that as a fairly "attractive" male with certain good attributes (great teeth, blue eyes, huge biceps) that maybe, just maybe that you pegged this one at the "mental health" issue.

I mean, if they "dumped" you, then obviously they need professional help. Just saying.

[crim son]

70. I thank you.

Unable to tell being as low a layer of the trash heap as you've ever encountered. But thank you.


Thank you, flvegan.

[flvegan]

71. Love, look

I've been at the bottom of whatever trash heap you're talking about. Trust me.

[crim son]

72. No you have not.

Your Love is the most lovely and wittiest girl on DU. I know this and have admired you both for finding one another.

My Love doesn't exist. S/He is a concept.

Nobody could bear me. But you have perhaps no idea how oddly touched I am by your answer. Thanks, FLG

[Writer]

61. My dear beautiful, brilliant crim son...

Maine has a particularly high nut-per-capita ratio. Just ask Stephen King.

Sincerely,

~Writer the Formah Mainah~

[crim son]

79. This is the first pose to stop me in my tracks.

You were never a Maine-ah. No. Writer, not so. -Lisa

[Writer]

86. Yes, when I was a young lady.

Well... a very young lady.

Hey - I think that anyone would dump you is crap. I read your posts... I see a bright, funny person who deserves much better.

And if you let me know his name and number, I will personally kick his ass.

~Writer~

[crim son]

88. Thank you, sweetpea.

You will understand that it's not that simple, though it should be. I will try to make it be.

Et tu? Where is that latest photo of yer lovely ass? :hug: :loveya:

[Writer]

90. No, it's never simple.

And I don't want to post pics anymore. I'm trying to be all serious and professional and stuff... because I'm going to be the oh-so-serious doctoral student... or, like, whatever.

Take care!

:hug: x 10.

[SPKrazy]

91. Occam's razor baby

simplest answer is usually right

go with it

I'm lightening my load with that principle right now

only a few conspiracies: Kennedy, 9/11, RFK, MLK, etc.

most of the time its just stupid fucking people doing stupid fucking things and I try to ascribe some deeper meaning or conspiracy to them

simplest answer usually right

people are fucking stupid

:hi:

:hug:

[Inchworm]

94. Just curious about the photo

nothing to see here...

:yoiks:

[crim son]

99. iNDEED.

It was twenty years ago.

[Inchworm]

95. Hey you!

sm0000ch!

Wayk up!

:P

[crim son]

96. I am awake and trying to type tyehe w0rd

Fuckit. Call me? Sending PM. Who can it hurt?

[Heidi]

97. Only this:

:loveya:

:hug:

:pals:

[Lethe]

101. this whole thread and the responses to it makes me want to puke

how many times is this going to happen?

why do we have to keep hearing about it?

we all want you to be happy in your life but you continue to enter in to relationships that are exactly the opposite of what you need.

[crim son]

102. You know, I cannot say.

Even I have been amaazed but you can be certain your physical revulsion has been taken into consideration.

Tolerance: Intolerance.

[Maddy McCall]

106. :thumbsup:

[Guava Jelly]

104. Oh you

C'mere :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

105. You will never "be the one who gets to learn and grow"...

until you get help for your own issues.

Sick people choose sick people for relationships. Well people choose well people for relationships.

Once you heal yourself, you'll no longer be attracted to dickheads.

You need to spend months if not years working on your own issues. That includes putting the bottle down.

When you do, and when you're well, you'll no longer "attract" people who need "mental health repair."

It seems that this would be self-evident to you.

(It also seems that it would be self-evident to you that these endless posts by you in the lounge are going to elicit the TRUTH from some of us who are tired of you whining about them while doing nothing to repair yourself.)

[crim son]

123. I t hink I've been quite scarce lately.

Sigh. You need not respond, you know. I already know your opinion having only recently taken you off ignore. Perhaps you should think about putting me on ignore to avoid being offended in the future. Just a thought, Maddy McCall.

[Maddy McCall]

147. You are scarce...you only come around to post your "woe is me, guy dumped me" threads.

You need help for your obvious mental illness. You need to quit drinking.

I'm not putting you on ignore....go ahead and add me. The truth is obviously something you don't want to hear. Instead, you want to be coddled by the enablers.

[Blue_Tires]

108. i can't even GET dates, if that is any consolation

lonliness = part of me dead on the inside

[MissMillie]

109. count your blessings

you're attracting people!

:hi:

hope you're well!

[Inchworm]

110. Oh my head...

Hope you feel better than I do this fine morning.

:hug:

[Zuiderelle]

112. I don't think you are really looking for answers to your questions.

But here go my answers...

You exude the "air de desperation" because you are willing to be with men you know are not good for you, because there's some enormous self-hatred inside you that causes you to seek them out. From what I've read from you, I don't think you would even want a kind or considerate man in your life, because it wouldn't generate the drama you need to feel alive.

You "attract people who need more mental health repair" than you do because, again, it's a symptom of your own lack of self-esteem. It makes you feel that your own issues are not as bad if the person you are with is worse.

Why do people want to learn from you and grow? They don't. They want to use you and hide from themselves and their issues, the same way you are.

Why can't you be the one who gets to learn and grow? Because you keep choosing people who don't offer that opportunity. You can only learn so much from people who are sicker than you. After a while, you just stop learning and become sicker yourself.

You can only be in an adult relationship when you choose other "adults" to be with.

I had some enormous self-esteem issues many years ago (and occasionally still). Therapy helped me tremendously. If I have any advice that could help you, it's that you should find a good therapist and work on these issues. These bad relationships are only preventing you from finding real happiness.

Good luck to you. I hope that you can stop this cycle and be good to yourself.

[crim son]

124. "Keep choosing people."

This is my first boyfriend after a seventeen year marriage, so this isn't really a pattern, not yet. But it may become one and I appreciate your wisdom.

[Zuiderelle]

131. Really? Then I've been misunderstanding your other posts.

Is this the same person you have been posting about for over a year? I thought you had a republican boyfriend for a while, and then someone else and then this guy. Sorry for misunderstanding that it's all the same guy.

I guess I was thrown by "but WHY do I attract people who need more mental health repair than I do" which makes it seem like you are saying that you have attracted more than one person in this unhealthy situation. Well, actually, you were saying that.

Then... let me rephrase what I said... You keep choosing the same situation over and over even though he's already proven to you what an asshole he is. Stop choosing him.

[crim son]

136. Yes. I attract them but don't date them.

It's been the same republican b/f for over a year and in that regard you are right. I keep choosing him, thinking things will change.

[Sheets of Easter]

113. I haven't been around that long,

but I've been here long enough to see a trend in some of your posts. sounds to me like you need some self-examination. You seem to attract bad mates like a light bulb attracts moths. I don't think it's coincidence.

this may not be what you want out of this thread, but it's what you need. Stop being a victim.

[DS1]

114. You might consider firing up a New England DU gathering

plenty of opportunities to hook up

[La Lioness Priyanka]

115. have you invested in a few months of therapy after your divorce and your last abusive relationship?

unless you fix yourself, your life will keep going around in circles.

just a word of advice from someone who did get years of therapy so that she would stop repeating the same stupid cycles

[crim son]

125. I have, yes.

Also during the marriage, FWIW. I appear to be resistant to talk therapy.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

128. maybe you need more time? or drugs? if you are depressed you are likely

to make stupid decisions...

[crim son]

130. True. I live in a fog.

I've tried a number of meds and am currently on the maximum dose of Prozac. Mental illness runs in my family on both sides. There's no getting around it, it seems. It never seriously occurred to me that I would ever become relationship pariah because I'm fundamentally intelligent and kind. But I look for people like me and naturally it isn't bound to work.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

132. sorry sweetie but it will get better. if prozac isnt working, try mirtazapine or remerol

thats what i was on for a while

[crim son]

138. I was on Remeron for about nine months.

I finally had to stop because even a mini-dose made me close to catatonic which was exactly what I needed after the breakdown. Later it became a nuisance, though I'd sure like some now! I was also given another, similar drug that caused the same problem, and then Neurontin. It was like being high all the time, a feeling I don't like.

Thanks, Pri. I'll get it figured out eventually.

[EstimatedProphet]

116. Y'know, here's the thing...

I used to say similar things, so I can see where the blind spots are.

1) If you spend all your time looking for people with mental health issues, that's what you're going to find. I used to have a similar problem. I would look for a certain type of person (in my case, someone who grabbed attention) without knowing I was looking for that type of person, because I was looking at other characteristics that go hand-in-hand. I was always attracted to women who ended up as the center of attention, without realizing that often they were the center of attention because they were attention whores. Once I learned to recognize that, I was able to move past it.

2) You don't learn and grow for yourself because of a relationship. You learn and grow because of you. If that's what you want out of a relationship, you're doing it backwards. You have to learn and grow first, then you can be in a productive relationship where you can learn and grow together.

3) If you're admitting to being fucked up, then what's in it for someone else? Why should anyone want to be in a relationship with someone more fucked up than they are? The key is to not be fucked up, and that starts with telliing yourself that you're not fucked up. Accept yourself first, and then other people can accept you. Therapy helps with this if you need it.

4) If all anyone notices is "air de desperation" then that's what people are going to react to. If you think you will fail if you don't attract someone, then you will drive everyone off.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

122. excellent and accurate post. nt

[crim son]

126. My cry re: growing and learning was meant to be melodramatic.

Most people who don't know me took it seriously. But I like your response. My mother told me when I was a teenager that I wouldn't be able to attract a man given my negativity. It turns out not to be true: I attract lots of men, but usually men like me. We destroy one another.

Thanks for your response. It makes sense.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

117. ...

:hug:

[PeaceNikki]

120. Why are you looking to men to "learn and grow"?

I think that's a mistake.

I also think it's a problem if you consider yourself to be "fucked up" and are looking for a relationship in which you don't have to be the "adult". You really need 2 adults for a relationship to work. Not one, but two. That includes you.

Find happiness within yourself. Learn and grow first.

[crim son]

127. Ah.

You were meant to read the post with a vision of me on stage, affecting deep, false emotion. No matter; you were only one of about thirty who didn't get my sarcasm. I'm no wit; that's apparent.

[PeaceNikki]

133. I sense there is some truth in your "satire".

Maybe I am way off base, but I've seen you post about relationship woes before.

Let it be known that I am speaking as someone who has had her share of dysfunctional relationships. I've also learned to enjoy be alone FAR more than clinging to/continually seeking out relationships that are toxic in nature. It just appears to an outsider that you are not comfortable with yourself or the thought of being alone. It's really much better than the pattern you appear to be repeating.

[crim son]

140. It's been the same relationship all this time. One guy.

And it wouldn't be satire if there weren't truth to it, so you aren't wrong about that. I do hate being on my own, having been married for seventeen years and becoming very used to a constant companion. But right now, in the aftermath of the latest rejection I am feeling peaceful and it would be wonderful to feel this way all the time. Thanks for your comments!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

121. crim, my lovely northerner, there is something unright here.

Something very wrong, namely the fact that you keep going around in circles with men. Abusive men, strange men, just...men. Why, my crim, why? Why do you do this to yourself? You and anyone else on the planet deserve better than this. Really. You do.

:hug:

[crim son]

129. I'm thinking that if I had something else to do, say,

a JOB! then I wouldn't spin my wheels like this. You are right, of course, WIMR. :hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

135. Do what needs to be done.

Job, hobbies, lots of diverions. Be you, a healthy you, an independent you. Don't look to men to complete you, because they can't. They're not meant to complete you, just as you're not meant to complete anyone else. Holes in you can only be filled by yourself--the body of the soul rejects foreign tissue as a matter of course.

:hug:

[crim son]

139. Cool.

"The body of the soul..." You are absolutely right.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

145. You must grow tired of making the same decisions over and over again.

The definition of insanity, my friend, is doing the same thing again and again but expecting a different result each time. Do you feel weary of this charade with men? No doubt you know, in your brain, that it is dumb, but when you feel it from head to toe, then you know you must do what it takes to leave it. Even if it is hard. Especially if it is hard.

:hug:

[JackDragna]

134. Learn the ultimate lesson of life, my friend:

Relationships are for fools. Most people are too dysfunctional, dumb or dull to talk to, much less share a life with. My advice: buy a Chia pet for companionship, drink heavily and laugh heartily as everyone else wastes their time trying to make other people happy.

[crim son]

141. Wow, you sound perfect for me.

I have cats; no Chia pet required.

[Debi]

137. Big hug coming your way

:hug:

I lose myself in trashy romance novels...tell Mr. Debi THIS is how you're SUPPOSED to treat me
x(. He laughs - says something silly about how we have running water and how riding horses makes a person smell like the horse and that there are no 'highwaymen' in Iowa. Damn his logical brain!!!

Hope time moves quickly for you.

[S n o w b a l l]

143. Hi, crim son...

Hugs to you...and my friend, you really don't have to be a superwoman or the perfect feminist, strong & tough woman that people preach to you about here. Yeah, you know what you need to work on. You don't need a bunch of sharks looking for chum to feed on. Pay no attention to the self righteous. I do understand what you're going through.

I didn't get married till I was 33 and my divorce at 45 was completely devastating. I didn't even recognize myself after wards, I was such a mess. I'm still recovering. Everyone handles loss and change differently. You have work to do but you're a smart woman and I'm sure you'll do what it takes. Take the time to build up your self esteem...you're a beautiful, intelligent woman, you will do it. Just start believing in yourself. It takes time after a divorce and even more time when you've been married so long. But, you can do it and you will.

Sometimes we have to go through all the shit to realize we don't want it anymore. You'll come to that realization eventually. But, we all have to travel our own paths to come to our own realizations. You will. Don't let anyone's judgments get you down.

:hug:

[billyoc]

144. Table for one, then?

:evilgrin: