I Have a Friend...

[ScreamingMeemie]

Who is a Wonderful Teacher

A Wonderful Mother

A caring, kind human being... Think the kind of mom who stops to make cookies with her children instead of posting on a message board and/or other time wasting things.

She lost her young daughter in an accident that could have possibly been prevented. It happened less than 5 feet from where she stood. It. Just. Happened. She is not a meth addict, nor was she negligent. It. Just. Happened.

Sometimes things just happen and to judge others from some self righteous high place makes me sick. Wait until the one day all eyes, and judgements are on you. It sucks. Let's not do it here...until the whole story comes out.

[Fran Kubelik]

1. ...

:hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

2. I'm sorry, Mrs. G.

That must have been horrible for her. Accidents happen. Bad things happen to good people.

:loveya:

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. yup. sometimes shit happens and its sucks.

[merh]

4. Sorry MrsG

but leaving a baby unattended is wrong, it doesn't matter how many ways you try to defend the action, it is still wrong - bad judgment, bad parenting, a life costing mistake.

That child was left unattended long enough that the puppy was able to kill him, maul him, and they put that baby dog down for being a puppy and because its owners were irresponsible. Irresponsible parents and irresponsible pet owners.

Yes, bad things happen, this could have and should have been avoided.

[bertha katzenengel]

5. why did you do this?

couldn't you honor the OP's intent, and ignore the thread?

[merh]

8. MrsG and I know each other and even if we didn't, I can still disagree with her.

I believe it is safe to assume she wouldn't have posted this if she didn't expect dissent and disagreement. I love MrsG and she knows that, she has been my friend and my shoulder and my support. I've tried to be for her what she has been for me. That being said, I don't think being her friend means I have to agree with her ever word and that I think so little of her, that I think she is too fragile to read a different opinion.

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. Then I suck merh... I did it all the time with WannaB.

I think my children should be taken away. I was 19, I was young...I was not always on top of things. I still am not. More so, sometimes now. Sorry I disagree. All make mistakes and to blame it on meth addiction when we don't know the story is ridiculous on this board. I am also sad that you find my wonderful friend ot be a neglectful mother.

[merh]

9. Is your friend this 17 year old?

I'm referring to her.

and the other two in the house.

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. As a mom, the two are interchangeable. Yes, I left my daughter alone as

a two month old, in a baby swing. No, I wasn't a meth addict. I was young. When I read this story I don't judge the mom, I feel sick and then grateful that I was lucky enough not to pay dearly for my own mistakes. My friend? The situation is the same whether one chooses to see it or not. Neither (until proven otherwise) was willful neglect. Both are tragic happenings that will haunt parents who perhaps could have behave differently, for the rest of their lives. I find that punishment enough, and a lesson for us all, not a reason to judge. I say this as a woman who obviously couldn't keep her husband happy, was probably cheating on him, while he apparently was depressed/addicted/a drunkard. To cast stones at others is wrong.

[merh]

11. There is no need for any proof about the negligect causing death

The death of the child is evidence of that.

But for the grace of god go you and me and hundreds of other care takers of children, mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles. That doesn't negate the tragedy and the bad choice, the deadly choice now does it.

Don't make it personal, it isn't - I've a right to find it appalling that the child was left long enough that a puppy could kill it, that is what happened and it was wrong on so many levels. I've said nothing about drug use so don't put other's words in my posts. You are judging without knowing, why can't I?

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. Where did I negate a tragedy? I am negating the hoards who would

crucify a parent for a stupid mistake that many of us could have been caught in, if we had only be so lucky. I'm not judging merh, I'm waiting. See the part where it says, let's not judge until we are given a reason to? I've learned that the hard way. But I'm done here because you aren't going to listen. Be lucky in life.

[Crazy Dave]

18. I never understood how the blame game makes the tragedy any less

It only serves the person doing the blaming. The assholes who like to say, "It's all their fault because..." really set me off.

[Zuiderelle]

14. Sounds like you aren't getting the point of the OP.

We don't know what happened. Period.

[Sheets of Easter]

19. edit- there's no way for me to eloquently put what I want to say.

[supernova]

6. ...

:hug: :hug:

Yes, sometimes bad things happen for absolutely no reason. It's perhaps the toughest thing we face in this life.

[Schema Thing]

13. I'm sorry about your friend MrsG

The ridiculous "everyfuckingthing can be controlled. control-everything" rush to judgements make me ill too.

[Maddy McCall]

15. There is not a mother alive who hasn't left her child alone...

to go wash clothes, or dishes, or to change the sheets on the bed, or to go to the mailbox.

I don't think that anyone should indict the parents over that. It's hypocritical. Especially when some of the people passing judgment have no children and have never been responsible for a baby 24/7.

I think that no infant should be left alone with a dog in the room--but, then again, maybe the parents in the story didn't know that the dogs had potential to be violent.

WE all have regrets about our parenting. ALL of us. There is NO SUCH THING as a perfect parent.

[Shell Beau]

16. Sometimes it is so easy to pass judgment.

It is never the right thing to do, but we all do it. You are so right. :hug:

[UrbScotty]

17. All that you've gone through, and now this?

:hug:

[FloridaJudy]

20. Agreed

When I was under a year old, I had a really nasty accident. I got out of my play pen, and pulled a hot iron onto my hand.

My parents were conscientious, caring people. They weren't drunk, and they weren't negligent: both were under the impression that the other was watching me. And it was the very first time I'd managed to get out of the play pen.

So sometimes bad stuff happens. I'm sure every time my parents looked at my scars they felt perfectly horrible. What it would be like to lose a child doesn't bear thinking about.

[skygazer]

21. That drives me crazy, too

There is no such thing as a terrible accident can happen in this world, seemingly. Always there has to be someone to blame and when there is someone to blame, it us usually blamed on either drug use or mental illness. No one seems able to simply see things as a horrible tragedy that no one knows the full story behind.

Lotta people here who never heard the old saw about the glass houses, I guess. :shrug:

[Arkansas Granny]

22. I agree, MrsG. Let's wait until we know the whole story before we rush to judgement.

I don't know of a single parent who has never left a small child unattended for at least a short period of time. You might just leave the room long enough to check on another child, answer the door or phone or go take the clothes out of the dryer. Unexpected things do just happen, sometimes with tragic results.

[Sheets of Easter]

23. Why do people judge? Because, on the net,

some folks believe they know everything, have razor-sharp reflexes and clear hindsight to maneuver themselves out of any number of unfortunate situations. And some of them are right here on this thread.

[1gobluedem]

24. It's just too easy to judge

When one is removed from the situation. My mother put my brother into his infant seat on the table, when he was two months old, for just a second while she took her coat off. He flung himself out of it and onto the floor. She was standing right there. Luckily he wasn't hurt but it could have been tragic and it scared the hell out of her. Was she being neglectful? No, she was right there. Things can happen in a split second.

If they had put the baby in the swing many times without incident and with the dog in the room (and how did we know they didn't) there probably was no reason to expect the dog to do what it did. My mother put my brother in that infant seat many times, my sister and me too when we were babies, for just a quick second and nothing ever happened to us so why would she think a two month old would do what he did? If he died or had been seriously injured, would she have been blamed or shamed for being a bad mother? :shrug:

I visited some friends this weekend who have an eight week old lab puppy who wanted to bite everything and everyone and bit my friend's ten year old hard while they were playing. It can happen to anyone. I agree, let's not rush to judgment until we know the full story.

[HEyHEY]

25. That scares the hell outta me

Just the thought makes me never want to take my nephews anywhere in Case something like that happens.

[PeaceNikki]

26. You are a wise person.

:hug:

[loveable liberal]

27. Its a terrible, terrible accident...

I work in a place where I hear all about crappy parents. Even last night the police were sent to a home where the mother left her 7 and 3 year old children to fend for themselves. If it werent for concerned neighbors the police would never have known.

These kids survived last night. There is no preventing accidents. Blaming assumes parents have a choice. They dont. Parents have left infants in cars only to be slow baked. Their lives are changed for the worse; forever.

Pointing out flaws is not only pointless its also cruel.

[CC]

28. For some it is easier to blame the parents

because it is too scary to think that their child could be at risk from a random occurrence. They may not even realize what is behind the automatic blame.