Jeez. My neighborhood is a hotbed of infidelity.

[Midlodemocrat]

My mom warned me about this kind of thing as people age, but I've never seen or heard of anything like this. Women with 4 kids disappearing for days with someone they just met.

I don't get it. I don't think I ever will. My age is showing. :cry:

[Parche]

1. And We Had LOTS Of Fun

IF..............you know what I mean...

:rofl::rofl: :rofl: :woohoo: :hi: :popcorn: :hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

2. I'd laugh about it if it didn't bug me so much.

No offense to you, Parche. I just don't get this. I don't get why spouses cheat. :shrug:

[Fran Kubelik]

3. Did anyone get $3000?

:scared:

[Midlodemocrat]

4. LOL. Don't know.

[Fran Kubelik]

8. Ok, so bad jokes about banned DUers aside...

That's sad. It must totally freak out the kids involved.

[DS1]

11. Yeah, they should totally watch porn instead

:crazy:

[Parche]

15. Eye C

Do you know them well, as neighbors, or are they just, neighbors that you havnt really met yet?

:hi: :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

16. I play bunco with her and we go to the same church.

[RadiationTherapy]

18. See, bunco and church SEEM harmless, but

Bunco Babe Betty Boop knows better!

[RadiationTherapy]

5. There are things we feel in our late teens and twenties that we never feel again.

As we move further from those times, some forget it was more a function of age and intensity and less a function of circumstance. Someone comes along and makes us think we feel that again, or we miss it so much we think it can be regained through circumstances.

The truth is, we will never feel the romance, intensity or drama that we did before our 30s or so. Some people can move on and appreciate the wizening process, others do not.

I know this is a broad brush, but this is my working theory on middle aged infidelity in an otherwise healthy marriage.

[yellowdogintexas]

14. good point. I was thinking about that the other day, in the vein of

what really is the best part about a new relationship, whether it is a romantic one or a new friendship in which you so automatically click with the new acquaintance it is as if you grew up in the same house.

the answer is: It is fresh and new, even when it feels like your best old jeans in terms of comfort level. You have a new person to share your history with and to learn theirs, discover jokes, mutual interests, trade books, discuss politics, etc.

this can even be the stranger on the plane that you talk with for the entire flight, have a blast with and never see again.

My first marriage was a disaster and I stayed in it too long. My second one has been infinitely better.

[RadiationTherapy]

17. I see people in healthy relationships who, I consider vulnerable to infidelity.

The newness of the 'other' and feeling new again themselves.

I am not really talking about growing a new relationship as that is rooted in different needs, I think.

Congrats on your second go!

[malta blue]

6. Where do you live? Wysteria Lane?

:shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

12. It feels like it sometimes.

I think the fact that we all know each other because the elementary school is IN the neighborhood makes a big difference. So, we all hear when something happens to someone.

Just Sunday, I found out another neighbor has breast cancer. If I didn't know better, I would swear this area was a hot spot.

Breast Cancer - 8 in the last year.
Pancreatic Cancer - 1, person has passed.
Thyroid cancer - 1
Colon Cancer-1 person has paased.
Ovarian 2
melanoma - 1, person has passed.
Brain - 2, including a 5yo.
Ewing's Sarcoma - 1, required amputation of the leg.

There are probably more, but that's all I can come up with at this time. :cry:

[malta blue]

13. Wow, that would make me wonder too

:hug:

[NewJeffCT]

7. Do you use a scorecard to keep track of all these comings & goings

I never notice these things in places I've lived - but, I'm not part of Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous, either.

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. That beats the marijuana bust (with blazing guns) of the 60-ish

year old, nicely dressed, nice lawn, not bothering anyone couple in my neighborhood.

[SarahB]

10. Stuff happens

I thought about doing that several years ago, then decided it was far better to figure out just what I wanted from the marriage instead (in the case of my former marriage, it was OUT).

I think NON-consensual non-monogamy is pretty scummy behavior.

[SOteric]

19. Wow. That is a bit of a shock.

I wonder if she's suffering some sort of Depression or hormonal imbalance, or if perhaps their are deeper issues in the marriage which are not generally known. Maybe I'm just hopelessly tainted by my parent's good marriage and a Catholic upbringing, but this sort of thing always surprises me.

[Midlodemocrat]

20. Here's the weirdest bit.

She is VERY involved in our church. I think she might be having mental health issues, because I saw her yesterday mooching on some guy, who was not her husband, in the parking lot of the pool. Very, very public. I don't know what she's thinking.

I do know that he asked her to leave and she moved out for about 6 months, but their kids are small, so I guess when summer came along, she needed to be there to watch the kids.

I'll never understand it.

I remember the first time my mom went to a 'key party'. Both mom and dad came home about 1/2 hour after they left. Had no idea that was what it was going to be. I was about 20 I think.

The thing I don't understand about those types of parties, is what do you do with the kids? What do you tell the kids when there's a strange man or woman at the kitchen table in the morning and no mom or dad?

I'm old.

[Bake]

21. But at least you get to do your Superior Dance!

Isn't that SPECIALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?

Bake

[Fran Kubelik]

22. Um.