I'm miserable, and I'd love some company(WARNING: Self-pity and loathing)

[Pale Blue Dot]

My competitor across the street from me closes at the end of the week and my business is up 30%. At the same time, I am short a manager (through no fault of my own), and I will not have a new one for several more weeks. I have been working six or seven day work weeks, 12 hours a day. Today is my only day off this week, and I have 2 conference calls that I have to take.

Whenever things like this happened, I get very depressed. My job is so beneath where I thought I could be when I was younger. This job offers nothing for me but a pretty good paycheck. It is extremely stressful, I work a combination of days and nights every week, and there is no set schedule. Worse, I don't enjoy it. I'm not chasing a dream or doing something I love or saving the world. I'm selling paper clips and wireless routers.

I was smarter than this. I could have been so much more than I am. Now I have a family to support, and I feel that its too late, I trapped.

What makes it even harder for me is that I know that I shouldn't complain. There are lots of folks right now that don't even have a job. And I have a wonderful son who loves me. I'm just so damn disappointed in myself.

Anyway, I apologize for even posting this. I have resisted doing this several times, but today I just needed to get it out. Please resume the normal lounge silliness now.

[Loonman]

1. Life is hard

Then you die.

:)

[Pale Blue Dot]

3. Don't make me laugh when I'm trying to feel sorry for myself!

:-)

[bif]

6. Or: Life's a bitch

and then you marry one. I don't really mean that, but I've always found it amusing.

[GOPisEvil]

2. I understand how you feel.

A little anyway. I understand being trapped in a job you don't like much because you need the paycheck. I understand wanting to have done more with your life. I can sympathize. If it helps, you're not alone. And, if you can get away on April 24th, I promise the first :beer: is on me.

[Pale Blue Dot]

4. Thanks, David

I'll take a Corona. :beer:

[bif]

5. Hey, put on some Neil Finn and cheer up!

I assume that's what your screen name refers to!

[Pale Blue Dot]

12. Great idea.

I'll put some on right after the 11 o'clock conference call.

[demnan]

7. I'm with you to some extent

I received an achievement award yesterday at work. What was my big achievement? Sticking it out and convincing the clients that I was indispensible. A few years back I produced a big web application all by myself and I was happy. I was building something, accomplishing something. Now I am merely supporting and living off the work I achieved earlier.

That should make me happy but it doesn't. I want to build, to be challenged. The thing I've always loved about programming was the challenge to the mind. Now I feel my skills going rusty. I'm getting a nice salary for nothing. I probably earned it with the work I did several years ago, but I'm still bored.

I liked the economy when it was booming. People were much more willing to take chances, ask for the moon, trust in technology than they are today.

[GOPisEvil]

9. I know what you mean...

...I sit around most days and play here. To tell the truth, as much as I like it here, I'd rather be busting my butt most days, with maybe a small break for DU. ;-) I don't feel that challenged in my job, and I wish I were. But, I'm fortunate to be employed, so I won't cry over my relative good fortune.

[Pale Blue Dot]

11. Maybe you could write a program that gets me a job I like?

Then we could both be happy!

[zanana]

8. You just spoke for every working person in the world.

You shouldn't apologize for posting it. I thought it was wonderful and very, very honest. I think just about everybody thinks that way at one time or another. Obviously, you're working too long. (I say "long" because working "hard" can be done at 40 hrs. a week.) I wish there was a way you could get a day or two off every now and then. Hang in there,Finnfan!

[Pale Blue Dot]

10. Thanks, zanana. nt