My GLBT martial status was questioned by the paralegal handling our house closing

[LostinVA]

She asked me my/our marital status for our title and closing docs, and when I answered "Civil Unioned," she was like,"Well, what is that LEGALLY?" I was like,"All the rights and responsibilities of marriage... only nomenclature's different... yadayadayada..."

THEN, she said to me:"Well, I need a copy of the license."

Oh, I was PISSED. I started getting all huffy and shirty and offended. I looked her straight in the eye and snarled,"Would you tell a straight couple you needed a copy of their license?!"

She looked me straight in the eye and said,"Errrrrr.... yes."

I answered,"Okay, I'll bring it in tomorrow."

It's pretty nice having my relationship treated "as usual." Now, the Governor better change the nomenclature to "marriage" in November like he promised!

[flvegan]

1. I was waiting to read something like this.

Honestly, if it were legal in Florida, I'd have NO idea how title would work for a GLBT couple. I wouldn't be so crude, and I'd find out what the new title law was the day before the law passed allowing gay marriage, which is what folks really need to do in states that recognize it. I'd probably go with Haruka and Lost, a married couple, for the vesting as that would establish the tenancy by the entireties.

BTW, congrats on your purchase.

[LostinVA]

2. We're the first gay couple our lender here has done

,There are three tiers of title tenancy, and one, tenancy in joint entirety is ONLY for married couples. Under NJ law, that's also us!!! So, it'll be written that way, and "man and wife" will become (I think they said) "spouses." The loan originator, loan processor, underwriter, and closer have all been terrific.

I've never been married before, of course, so I didn't know they would need the license.

[flvegan]

12. Right, that's why my title background

has you as haruka and lost, a married couple. Still establishes, yet dumps that whole "husband and wife" only, shit.

After the closing, if you would, let me know who your title underwriter is (name on the policy). I'd really like to make a big fucking issue out of this so nobody else goes through that.

[LostinVA]

17. I think it'll be fine

Like I said, they've asked questions, but have been very nice about the whole thing. Our loan originator (a Libertarian) even congratulated us on our "civil union."

[flvegan]

21. I know

I'd still like to know the underwriter as they need to talk to their agent reps about this and educate their agents to not put any other GBLT folks through anything like this. I'd love to be on some underwriter forefront that embraces the rights of people to marry any person they choose AND have properly protected vested title.

And I know I can do that.

[Guava Jelly]

3. That is fucked up.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
You had every right to be angry.

[LostinVA]

8. I'm finding that people are more confused than homophobic

Everyone has been cool once I explained things.

[RadiationTherapy]

4. So many people have such horrible PR skills.

I am not ok with her reaction on any level, but to be conducting business and so obviously and clumsily ostracize your customer? Ridiculous.

[LostinVA]

6. Her heart was in the right place -- she was just a bit confused, I think

The NJBA should have sent out a one-sheet on this.

Our taxes are nutty: we have to file as married in NJ, but single for Federal.

Our credit scores are supposed to be meshed now, but they aren't.

There's a reason why I'm a bit of a "one issue" voter now: we need equal rights.

[Gormy Cuss]

18. So you people just need special treatment?

:hide:



Yeah, LiV I hear you. This is a good example of why "civil unions" are a pale substitute - better than nothing, but sorta the Plessy v. Ferguson of gay rights.

[LostinVA]

24. I always knew you were a Phobe!!!

We're both surprised we're "the first." It's a well known mortgage company.

[yewberry]

5. Where I work, we don't require licenses from anyone.

I'm in HR (sigh) and we have lots and lots of employees. Lots of marriages, lots of same-sex unions. We just ask that they sign a statement and provide the date effective so that we can provide benefits.

Divorces, though...that's another animal altogether.

[LostinVA]

7. I didn't need to show HR anything for our health and dental insurance

I guess the mortgage biz is different because of the titling.

[SallyMander]

9. Congrats on the house!

Iza and i just applied for our Massachusetts marriage license today. I was ticked that we got to be "Party A" and "Party B" and indicate our sexes on the form. I got to be Party A. :D

[LostinVA]

14. Thanks!

In NJ, the form is the same and you check off "civil union" or "marriage." It should just have the same name.

[SallyMander]

10. Double post

Ooooopsies :blush:

[AlCzervik]

11. Congratulations on the house and i'm sorry that happened but you might have made it

easier for the next gblt couple when they close on a house.

[LostinVA]

15. Thanks!

And, I'm glad we can at least make it easier for the next couple.

[GreenPartyVoter]

13. A house? Cool! And yeah, if you are getting treated like straight couples then I guess

that's a step forward. :^)

Here's to forward progress and nomenclature changes. :toast:

[LostinVA]

16. It's very cool

It'll be the first house Haruka has owned.

Gov. Corzine says he'll sign gay marriage into law after the election. I hope so.

:toast:

[GreenPartyVoter]

19. Here is something for your new house.

[XemaSab]

20. Your GLBT martial status?

You mean, your ability to kick the ass of people who give you shit? :shrug:

[LostinVA]

22. Oops

Well, Haruka is a black belt, and I do some aikido.

[cabbage08]

23. Congrats on the house n/t

:toast: