How young is too young?

[malta blue]

Little MB turned 9 this summer.

I was told that I should start discussing menstruation and sex-ed with her soon. In my head, she is still a little baby and it's hard to divorce myself from that.

What say you DUers? Is it time or can I wait another year or so?

[Shell Beau]

1. I certainly don't know when is the appropriate age. I guess

it depends on the maturity of the child. My sis-in-law started menstruating at the age of 8. I personally think you can wait a little longer, maybe when she is 10 or 11. I really think this is a personal choice and it all depends on the child. Good luck.

[malta blue]

2. thanks Shell

How are you feeling these days?

:hi:

[Shell Beau]

4. Large and in charge. If she doesn't come this next week, I will

get induced on the 15th. That seems like a lifetime away even though it is only a week and a half.

[malta blue]

6. large and in charge

:spray:

:rofl::rofl:

Thanks for the laugh....

(((((good vibrations))))) for an easy delivery Shell. I can't wait to see pix.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. she probably knows about menstruation and has some inkling about sex

talking to her about it will jsut make her more comfortable discussing these things with you

[malta blue]

5. wow - you think so huh?

I am so out of the loop...

thanks for your input lionness :pals:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i grew up in a more conservative country and knew about menstruation by 9

so i assume she does too

[malta blue]

8. perhaps - I will ask try to bring it up this weekend.

Thanks so much LP.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. welcome. its best that she is prepared. girls are gettign their period much earlier

best of luck, cant imagine that this is easy for you :hug:

[Haole Girl]

10. Do not wait. nt

[MissMillie]

11. considering that she's getting close to getting her period

she should know about it.

I think 9 is a perfectly acceptable age to tell her about that.

As far as how far to go w/ it all... let her guide you. Answer what she asks, but you don't have to be really detailed unless she asks for a lot of detail.

She knows what she's ready to hear.


starting the conversation shouldn't be too difficult.. there are a billion commercials on TV.. when one comes on, ask her if she knows what tampons/pads are for... then you're rolling.

[malta blue]

13. thanks

I will try to bring it up casually.

[SmokingJacket]

12. I only have boys, but I started dropping in bits of info around then.

Bring up the changes that happen in people... ask if she wants to know more. I bring it up kind of cyclically, with a little more detail each time.

Some girls actually do start menstruating in 4th grade, so it would be a real shocker if she had no idea what was going on!

And she's going to start hearing stuff in school, if she hasn't already.

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Well, I had "the class" as a 10 year old, but you are the best judge

of your child. FWIW, my mother said not one word to me. I always tell her it's her fault I had a kid at 19. ;)

Seriously thought, BabyG (who would kill me right about now) is just at the brink (at just turned 10) although I haven't said anything except to discuss hygeine and deodorant with him. I'm scared to talk "the talk" with a boy. He's very open and yet I am afraid I will mess it up somehow.

[bertha katzenengel]

15. I dunno... she's probably old enough to start.

Better for her to know it's going to happen before it happens.

Good luck. :hug:

[malta blue]

21. absolutely

thanks
:hug:

[Mutley]

16. Hmmm,. every child and every family is going to be different.

But I wouldn't put it off for too long. Girls have gotten pregnant at that age before.

[malta blue]

24. yikes

I know you are right, but holy jeebus, I am so not ready yet.....

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. Has she asked any questions on the subject?

I've always talked about as much as my kids could absorb whenever they ask. There's a good book by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown (the Arthur series author) called "What's the Big Secret" http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Big-Secret-Talking-about/dp/0316101834/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220543419&sr=1-1
I found it really helpful to read with my younger son, who's now 10. It doesn't explain everything, but it covers a lot, and gets them thinking about what questions the need to ask.

[malta blue]

20. no questions at all

at least not yet.

[Left Is Write]

18. It's time.

You want her to hear about it from you before her friends start giving her possibly scary misinformation. I would not wait.

[malta blue]

23. true enough

I will try to talk to her a little this weekend.

[mentalsolstice]

19. She probably knows a lot more than you think

My cousin (we grew up like sisters, when she wasn't actually living with us, she was right down the street) explained menstruation to me. She was/is three years older than me.

When I was 8, my mom and aunt were sitting out by the pool playing cards, and my cousin called, I answered the phone, and she wanted to talk to my aunt. My aunt didn't want to be bothered, so Sue told me to tell her mother to get her butt to the phone cuz she just started her period and she didn't have any pads (this was the late 1960s). So I went back and nonchalantly relayed the message to my aunt and my mom. Well, my mom's mouth flew wide open. She asked me if I knew what that meant, and I said sure, it means that a woman bleeds "down there" once a month if she isn't pregnant. Perturbed at getting the 3rd degree, I then asked if I could go back to playing in the pool.

My mom was sooo pissed at my cousin for having robbed her of that "special mother/daughter moment", I don't think she ever got over it.

[malta blue]

22. that's a funny story

:rofl:

Thanks for the input.

I suppose I am gonna have to suck it up and have the talk.....

[Left Is Write]

25. If it makes you feel any better, my younger daughter is 8, and we've had little bits of "the talk."

This is what she said just yesterday, noticing me finally flipping the kitchen calendar page to September: "Mom, since it's a new month, did my thingies release an egg?"

(She couldn't remember the word ovaries, and then I had to explain that she wasn't quite old enough to be releasing eggs yet, and that it doesn't go by calendar months. I think I'm going to have to be a little more clear with my explanations!)

:)

[malta blue]

27. that is so cute

:pals:

Thanks for the encouragement.

[PassingFair]

26. Mine started asking POINTED questions before age 5.

They were reproductive EXPERTS.

My littlest was OBSESSED with reproduction,
heading straight for that section in any
library or bookstore.

Her favorite pastime as a toddler was
pretending to be pregnant.

I never told them anything they did not
specifically ASK the answer for, and even
then, when I would not give them a thorough
answer, they RESEARCHED it.

[otherlander]

28. My parents answered my questions honestly from the time I was able to talk.

I respect them for that. And hey, knowledge of the human body isn't dirty or corrupting, it just is what it is. If you're not open to honest discussion it'll just make her think that it's something secret, or shameful, and you seem like an openminded person, so that's probably the last thing you want.

[AngryAmish]

29. I'm too young to give that speech

That is why she has a mother. (I'm a coward)

[joneschick]

30. as others have already said, she probably has some info

and would like to know what is accurate and what isn't. All three of my girls started @ age 11. From the time they were little the conversations were always available. Somehow, very early on we agreed that they could get their ears pierced when they had their first period. (weird combo, I know) I worked for us. Whenever they wanted to open the conversation it was "when it's time for me to get my ears pierced....." ymmv,but having a known celebration of some kind was a great door opener around here. :hi: