Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:26 PM
Original message |
I'm here to solicit some medical advice |
LostInAnomie
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:27 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Your rectum is not a plaything. |
bigwillq
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:30 PM
Original message |
MsTryska
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
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but to each their own as far as i'm concerned.
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Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
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Y'all are going to get my thread locked for sexuality, when it's supposed to get locked for seeking medical advice.
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MsTryska
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
19. ok fine....since this is about medical advice |
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do not put anything in your rectum that does not have an anchor of some sort outside of your body.
also - do not putting anything bigger than your elbow in your ear.
and lastly - no sharp objects in your nostrils ever.
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WannaJumpMyScooter
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
14. Rectum? Nearly killed 'em. |
Ptah
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
17. Bennett? Nearly broke it! |
Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
20. Jacket? Don't mind if I do! |
Iggo
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Sat Sep-06-08 12:02 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
33. Bangor? No, we're just good friends. |
Kutjara
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Sat Sep-06-08 06:48 AM
Response to Reply #33 |
35. Jamaica? No, she wouldn't let me. |
WannaJumpMyScooter
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Sun Sep-07-08 07:04 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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she honored his offer
and all through the night it was on her and off her
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lightningandsnow
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Sat Sep-06-08 08:05 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
37. Public Service Announcement |
Lil Missy
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:27 PM
Response to Original message |
2. Take 2 tylenol, call me in the morning. That will be $50 please. |
Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 10:09 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
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If my copay doesn't kill me, the out-of-pocket surely will.
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Gormy Cuss
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:28 PM
Response to Original message |
3. Take aspirin, drink plenty of fluids and get a good night's sleep. n/t |
redwitch
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:28 PM
Response to Original message |
4. Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. |
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Courtesy of my late great Uncle Walter.
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TZ
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:28 PM
Response to Original message |
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of thimersol...Guaranteed to keep the doctor away....;-)
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Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
7. I'd rather get my mercury that way anyway |
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When I drink it straight, it just sits in my stomach like a liquid rock.
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Dr. Strange
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:30 PM
Response to Original message |
6. If it lasts more than four hours, go see your doctor. |
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(I'm referring, of course, to the numbness you experience after a shot of Novocaine from the dentist.)
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Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:31 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
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Going to the dentist has never given me a four-hour erection.
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Pierre.Suave
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
10. You are going to the wrong dentist... |
Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
11. So you say, but how many dentists do you know who do a prostate exam while you wait? |
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That's what I call service.
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Pierre.Suave
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
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Edited on Fri Sep-05-08 08:45 PM by jasonc
Maybe I need to ask around...
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Dr. Strange
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
22. I might call it "service"... |
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if he bothered to wash his hands in between.
:eyes:
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Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
23. Maybe if you'd sit in the chair properly, he wouldn't get confused so readily |
TZ
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
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This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "shut your piehole".....:rofl:
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Dr. Strange
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Fri Sep-05-08 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
28. The ratio of the circumference of a hole to its diameter is... |
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pihole!
Two Greek puns in one night! I'm on a roll!
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NightWatcher
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:37 PM
Response to Original message |
13. penicillin will clear it right up |
FloridaJudy
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:38 PM
Response to Original message |
15. Crisco is the best moisturizer in the world |
Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #15 |
16. Not so great as a suntan lotion, though |
TZ
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:54 PM
Response to Original message |
21. The q-tip is good for your EAR.... |
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Not your REAR.....}(
He-IBTL...
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Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
27. If he told you that it was a q-tip, you really need to have a talk with him. |
rug
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:57 PM
Response to Original message |
Orrex
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Fri Sep-05-08 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
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Thanks a lot for nothing.
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triguy46
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Fri Sep-05-08 09:28 PM
Response to Original message |
29. NEVER eat anything bigger than your head. |
NNadir
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Fri Sep-05-08 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
30. Oh my God. Kliban lives! |
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It's become the standard joke around my family dinner table.
Both of my boys love that cartoon.
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triguy46
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Sun Sep-07-08 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
39. My kids are in their 20's and still believe it to be words to live by. |
yellowdogintexas
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Fri Sep-05-08 09:49 PM
Response to Original message |
sarge43
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Sat Sep-06-08 06:42 AM
Response to Original message |
34. If it hurts to do that, stop doing it. |
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Four pills aren't necessarily better than the prescribed two.
Mom was right; picking at it isn't a good idea.
When you tell your doctor that your hip bones are making funny noises when you walk, be specific. Are the noises George Carlin funny or Mel Brooks funny?
Don't dwell upon the possibility that your surgeon may have graduated with a 2.5 GPA.
Life: The prognosis is 100% bad. Accept and move on.
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BlueIris
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Sat Sep-06-08 07:02 AM
Response to Original message |
Orrex
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Sat Sep-06-08 11:19 AM
Response to Reply #36 |
38. I'm asking for medical advice, and you're giving me billiards tips. |
Fox Mulder
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Sun Sep-07-08 06:56 PM
Response to Original message |
40. I have this pain in my ass... |
Lil Missy
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Sun Sep-07-08 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #40 |
42. Has it lasted for about 8 years? Hmmmmm...... |
Fox Mulder
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Sun Sep-07-08 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #42 |
44. Yeah, for about eight years now... |
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Edited on Sun Sep-07-08 07:23 PM by Fox Mulder
but more so in the last two or so weeks.
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zanne
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Sun Sep-07-08 07:12 PM
Response to Original message |
43. Always wear your hat. nt |
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Thu May 09th 2024, 12:41 AM
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