I just got a letter from John McCain.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

Seriesly!! Somehow, maybe in some parallel universe, I got on the mailing list of the Republican National Committee. And today I got a letter from Captain Combover himself, asking for a contribution of "$1,000, $5,000, $10,000, $15,000 or even the maximum amount of $28,000." (This is how they get around the maximum contribution to candidates.) Here's why Senator McAnus wants my money:

"The Obama Democrats and their left-wing allies have made it perfectly clear they will spend hundreds of millions of dollars -- even one billion dollars -- to defeat Republicans and re-establish their failed policies of higher taxes, more government spending, socialized medicine and a weakened national defense."

:rofl:

Now, I don't have money to send the RNC to help McAncient's campaign. But since they were so kind as to send me this nice letter (and also a lovely, glossy brochure describing what you get if you contribute to the RNC's Major Donor Leadership Programs), I do feel I should return something to them in their nice, big postage paid envelope.

So, my Lounge friends, I need your advice. What should I send them?

:evilgrin:

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. Send them Chuggo Bux. They're worth more than the USD.

[Pierre.Suave]

2. A DVD copy of Obamas acceptance speech...

:P

[RoyGBiv]

3. Is there a SASE?

Self addressed stamped envelope?

If so, send 'em a rock. A big rock. Heavy rock. Preferably one that smells of fermenting moss. Get a box, put the rock in it, then slap the envelope on the front of the box.

They'll LOVE it.

[femmocrat]

4. I got one that included an application for an absentee ballot!

And it was pre-addressed to my county director of elections!

Dammit, these guys are goooood.

[kentauros]

5. A dead fish.

"And she's wrapped in plastic!" :P

If the envelop isn't one of those plastic ones that you can practically hermetically seal, then send something like powdered sugar. In a little baggie.

[bluesbassman]

6. I know you're kidding because

no one on our side would ever do something like that.

[kentauros]

7. Okay, a banana peel

:P

Or maybe a single cookie with a bite taken out of it

Then again, how would they know it came from a "librul"?

[City of Mills]

8. I'm writing them a check for a brazillion dollars right now!

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

(I know, I know)

[sarge43]

17. They wouldn't get it.

Look who we're talking about; the people responsible for a redo of Spinal Tap's Stonehenge disaster, re McLame's acceptance speech.

What's the phrase I'm looking for ...

...can't shift into third gear?

...elevator stuck in the basement?

...froze to death looking at the concentrate label on an orange juice container?

...Box of Rocks, "Stupid as a repug."?

...hurt themselves peeling a banana.?

...burn, then pillage?

...."Vetting!? We don't do no stinking vetting."?

[KitchenWitch]

9. Wrap an old phone book in kraft paper and tape the envelope to the outside!

:evilgrin:

[City of Mills]

10. LOL!

Verrrrry nice!

[Lil Missy]

11. I got a survey call from Newt Gingrich recently. WTF??

I've been a registered Democrat for many, many years. What the HELL? Although, it could have been because of my mom living here. She thinks bushshit gets picked on unfairly.

:eyes:

Thank gawd she never votes.

I told them I thought the newt was a horses ass and hung up.

[RoccoR5955]

12. Stick some used toilet paper in the envelope and send it to them...

... I am sure that they will get the point!

[jmowreader]

13. Send them...

a photocopy of the last check you sent to Obama's campaign, with the notation "Duplicate--Do Not Cash" written across it.

[sarge43]

14. A carefully wrapped brick is always a classic.

A note explaining all your spare cash goes to community organizations.

A membership enrollment form for the ACLU with a note "I'll sign up with you all when you all send in this."

I always thought a grand gesture would be a big ass box filled to bursting with packaging material. In the center of this mess, a tiny box (earring box would be perfect) and in that box, a plug nickel or Monopoly money as that is about the level of McLame's economic knowledge.

[Shiver]

15. *snicker*

'A membership enrollment form for the ACLU with a note "I'll sign up with you all when you all send in this."'

That's a good one. I'm gonna do that if they send me anything... although they've probably written off Madison, WI as a lost cause...


~Shiver

[sarge43]

16. Thank you and welcome to DU

Enjoy.

".... although they've probably written off Madison, WI as a lost cause..."

You may have your opportunity. They sound dateless and desperate.

[ghostsofgiants]

18. You opened and read it, it said they were suckers, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uPlIaF65PM

(Thus, my suggestion is a copy of Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos.)

[cynatnite]

19. If you don't need it I could use it...

My couch keeps hitting the wall. I need something to put behind it. :evilgrin: