What's going to happen when Scientists turn on that huge particle collider?

[charlie and algernon]

For those that haven't heard, scientists have built this massive particle collider/Smasher deep underground on the Swiss and French border. One of the things they want to do is recreate the Big Bang among other particle smasher experiments. Opponents say it could destroy the world by creating deadly black holes. What do you think?

[Dr. Strange]

1. Some of us are going to appear in a parallel universe...

where the Federation is evil and CaliforniaPeggy has a goatee.

[billyskank]

2. Maybe I'll find that 8th oz. of hashish I lost back in 1996.

The Shining was on the TV that night, followed by 2001: A Space Odyssey. Man was I pissed.

[Dora]

8. Dude, that was stolen.

You can stop looking for it now.

[billyskank]

10. Stolen by God.

It was at the bottom of my pocket, underneath my keys, lighter, cigarette papers and tobacco. I rode my bicycle home after a big shmoke at my friends' house, arrived and emptied my pockets. Out came the tobacco, papers, lighter and keys. No ganja. No hole in my pocket, either.

[Dora]

11. And He enjoyed it!

Amen!

[originalpckelly]

3. "Scientists plan to play Barry White to turn on the collider which is set to start working today..."

[SOteric]

4. There is a fifth dimension

beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call "The Twilight Zone".

(cue music...)

[SidneyCarton]

5. Pinhead will emerge from the box to take Sarah Palin back with him to Labyrinth to be his Queen

[DS1]

6. it works. then someone gets drunk at the after-party and sticks a lab mouse in it

and runs it again, reversing the spin of the Milky Way, and covering everything with cheese

[SOteric]

23. Awesome!!

If cheese is everywhere they ~have~ to let you make a credit card purchase for under 10 bucks!! The economy is saved!

[BuelahWitch]

59. Eh, credit card, shedit card, the cheese will be FREE!

Free cheese for everyone! But don't eat too much or else...:hurts:

[tigereye]

7. there will be more jobs for physicists?

I think particle colliders are really cool.

[pokerfan]

9. Either way we're going to learn something

If it takes the Earth getting sucked into a black hole, well you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.

[KansDem]

12. Other...

It'll blow and they'll have to replace these:

[PVnRT]

13. Who the hell voted that it's money down the drain?

They're not "recreating the Big Bang." They are reproducing similar conditions to determine the behavior of particles and forces shortly afterwards.

[DS1]

16. There's no shortage of people here who would prefer NASA was eliminated

[Pierre.Suave]

17. Seriously?

WTF for?

[DS1]

18. Yeah, seriously

Shortsighted moronic shitbag fucktools are everywhere.

[Pierre.Suave]

19. HA

I guess so.

[PVnRT]

24. I'm well aware of it

Why, if we eliminate NASA's budget, everything will be perfect!

Or we can just use those sentient robot probes with the ability to think and react, so we don't need to send humans anywhere.

[texas1928]

14. this long zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sound, then

POP! nothing.

[Lautremont]

15. I can't tell you,

but, not to put too fine a point on it, it involves people with pig heads and pigs with people heads.

[edbermac]

20. All women will go bald.

[appal_jack]

46. wow, will that render us bald-ing guys cool?

The ramifications are truly staggering...

...says the balding guy who yet still refuses to cut off his ponytail.

-app

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

50. If they turn bald and HOT like Ilia I'm all for it. p-nt

[hunter]

21. We will discover the entire universe is made of tiny little rabbits wearing waistcoats...

...and muttering "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!"

[charlie and algernon]

22. or we'll discover the entire universe is on a flea on a rabbit

muttering "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!"

[ghostsofgiants]

25. We'll find out what happened to the island in the season 4 finale of Lost.

[charlie and algernon]

26. the frozen donkey wheel is just a poor man's

particle collider

[ghostsofgiants]

28. I'm sayin'!

[krispos42]

27. Other:

7,000 CERN scientists go home flush with erotic hormones from the event and screw their spouses into unconsiousness.

In other words, lots of hot geek sex. :-)

[Fire Walk With Me]

29. This poll will go back in time a few days and lose much of its humor in the process.

[lizziegrace]

30. My sister works at a school in England and was asked by a student

"Do we have to come to school tomorrow, because we all might die"

Her reply, "Yes you must come to school tomorrow dead or NOT!"



She's cheeky that way. :)

[charlie and algernon]

31. haha, nice

I remember in grade school whenever we came to one of Nostrodamus' end of the world days, lol, the whole class would count down the last 10 seconds before the so-called zero hour. Imagine our shock and disapointment when we were still alive after the countdown. :-)

[lizziegrace]

32. I was living near Memphis when the New Madrid quake prediction

hit the news. My daughter was in preschool in the basement of an old church. Logic said don't worry about it, but I was relieved when the time passed.

:)

[billyskank]

39. (ring ring) Hello, this is billyskank. Can I speak to my boss please?

Yes hi, I'm afraid I can't make it in to work today. There's a quantum singularity and the road is closed. Expect me tomorrow.

[lizziegrace]

40. Oh, on second thought

I'll be dead tomorrow...

;)

[billyskank]

41. Only temporarily I hope.

:hug:

[Sheets of Easter]

33. Nothing. Then, hysterical bloggers will go back to work on thier "world ending in 2012" bullshit.

[charlie and algernon]

36. well if nothing happens now

those bloggers will just say it will take 4 years for the collider to re-callibrate or something. So everything works out. :-)

[Rob H.]

34. We'll be swarmed by Red Lectroids from Planet 10

"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!"

[charlie and algernon]

37. what in the hell is that?

[Rob H.]

38. It's John Lithgow as Dr. Emilio Lizardo/Lord John Whorfin

from the cult movie The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Across the 8th Dimension, also starring Peter Weller, Ellen Barkin, Jeff Goldblum, and Christopher Lloyd.

[Tikki]

35. As our planet slips in and out of...

a massive shift caused by a time rift...Torchwood will
take over as all the Governments on Earth collapse.


Tikki

[muriel_volestrangler]

58. Heh - tune in in a couple of hours' time to find out ...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/bigbang/torchwood.shtml

[Tikki]

65. I know...6a.m. here...I couldn't make it 'live'...zzzzz

site says they will make it available to hear later. :finger's crossed:

Tikki

[Whoa_Nelly]

42. Other: All the evil fucks in this world will be sucked up into that black hole

with Bush, Cheney and Rove leading the way

[billyskank]

43. Compressed evil

:scared:

[Whoa_Nelly]

45. Yeah! And send them through the wormhole to a Parallel Universe!

Forever!

[Duppers]

44. You left off "They'll learn many interesting things"

which will not include that a Biggs Boson really exists.

Of course, you're not a science person nor a fan of science obviously.

What we will discover with the LHC (and what we do discover each and every day) puts another plug in the wall of knowledge against all previous superstitions which attempt to explain the universe.

[charlie and algernon]

49. I'm a big fan of science

just trying at a bit of humour. Poking more fun at the opponents than the scientists.

[Duppers]

55. ok

my apologies, but you're feeding the naysayers, ya know.

:hi:

[charlie and algernon]

62. i don't know

i think there the ratio of fans vs. oponents of science is a bit more in our favor here on DU than other places.

[lost-in-nj]

47. I felt a breeze on my back

and my hair is frizzed....


is it the weather

or have I been

particler collided???



:shrug:



lost












:rofl:

[old mark]

48. I guess we'll find out, won't w

[bikebloke]

51. Wait! It cain't end the werld yet.

I ain't been raptured.

[seemunkee]

52. Jupiter will align with Mars

It will be the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

[LostInAnomie]

53. Dogs and cats will finally stop all the fighting...

... and get down to some loving.

[Monk06]

54. Ask this guy

[Duppers]

56. ok, I'll play. we'll get the attention of more aliens

who'll come to dominate us.
:rofl:

[charlie and algernon]

61. lol, what year did first contact take place in the star trek universe?

[Duppers]

67. ya got me, I forgot

senility's setting in. I need a reboot.

:rofl:

[Doug.Goodall]

57. Their electric bill is going to go way up

[Fox Mulder]

60. Absolutely nothing.

:)

Well, except the machine gets turned on. :)

[Z_I_Peevey]

63. Everybody gets a DeLorean

and we haul ass to another dimension.

[TommyO]

64. Think Heart of Gold

and the Infinite Improbability Drive, this is the first step!

[philosophie_en_rose]

66. Torchwood shows up, apparently.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/bigbang/torchwood.shtml

"The LHC is a particle accelerator, which has been built deep underground in a 27 km tunnel under Switzerland and France. Once activated the Collider will fire beams of protons together recreating conditions a billionth of a second after the Big Bang - and potentially allowing the human race a greater insight into what the Universe is made of. But so much could go wrong - it could open a gateway to a parallel dimension, or create a black hole - and now voices from the past are calling out to people and scientists have started to disappear..."