Really poor parenting, or, why didn't I kick those guys asses?

[MrCoffee]

So I took LittleCoffee to her first swim lesson last night. There were 7 four-year-olds in her class, but only 5 in the water. Two little boys (looked to be 4 or 5 years old) were sitting on the side of the pool crying. I don't know if they were scared or what.

Each of the two fathers were both telling the boys "It's ok sweetie/honey, you don't have to go in."

Why didn't I kick their (the fathers) asses? LittleCoffee was apprehensive when we first got there. It was noisy, smelled like chlorine, there were loads of strange kids, the instructors were barking orders...I can understand being nervous. But letting your kid sit on the deck crying (one of them threw a massive fit when Dad tried to sit him on the edge of the pool) instead of either dragging their ass out of there or tossing them in? And telling them "It's ok sweetie, you don't have to do it if you're too much of a namby-pamby to get wet"?

No wonder they were acting like such babies. Look at the "parents".

[flvegan]

1. Pfft. I learned to swim when I was 4 and my dad tossed me off his boat.

The Grady White Technique he called it. "Stop your drowning, and start your swimming!" Remember it like it was yesterday.

Good times.

[MrCoffee]

3. That's how I learned, and I didn't want to inflict it on LittleCoffee

but she never would have gotten near the water if she threw a fit like that one kid did.

I don't blame the kid. The kid is just doing what he knows to do to get attention from a completely worthless "parent".

[flvegan]

7. Is there an swim teacher?

I remember our swim teacher taking charge if a kid didn't want to get in the pool during lessons.

Uh, I mean at the lessons I took AFTER a few months of The Grady White Technique.

[MrCoffee]

10. Yeah, the instructor was great with the kids

I wouldn't want his job, but he did a really good job keeping order and working with the kids who were a little less used to the water.

LittleCoffee loved it, but she's been in the water since she was about 8 months old.

[flvegan]

16. She must be pruny.

That's a long time to be in the water.

Good you got her exposed to it early.

[MrCoffee]

17. She's got nothing on BabyCoffee

The boy's not even 2, and his #1 sentence this summer was "I go to pool!"

[Schema Thing]

20. Mine too! I did fine, as soon as I got out of that tote sack.

[flvegan]

21. Did you also have the 25 lb plate in yours, too?

Parenting was way better if you go back a few years.

[Schema Thing]

23. nah, no plate. dad was a bit of a pussy, and I told him so when I got

old enough to speak.

[billyskank]

2. Being a parent means sometimes you have to act a way they don't like.

I don't know, I'm not a dad. But I expect it's tough. But I can see that it is necessary too. Can't wrap them in cotton wool and treat them like kittens.

[MrCoffee]

4. I know so many people who want to be their kid's friend first, and parent second

Which is completely backwards.

[billyskank]

6. That's it exactly.

You said what I was trying to say but too dumb to manage it.

[Critters2]

5. You want Skittles should kick their asses for ya? nt

[MrCoffee]

8. I'm kicking my own ass for not kicking theirs last night.

[Critters2]

9. I'm sure Skittles could help with that, too. nt

[SOteric]

11. In general, I agree. However, in specific

we really don't know what was going on with those two kids. Maybe one of their siblings or a little playmate drowned and the abnormal amount of fear is justified, as is special handling.

Of course, if something like that isn't the case, then yeah, someone should have plopped their tiny little butts into the pool and been done with it.

[MrCoffee]

12. Of course, I can only base it on assumption...

but those kids were being WAY too over-coddled by Buddy-Dads.

If LittleCoffee had a traumatic experience like that with water, I wouldn't dream of putting her in a swim class; or, if she flipped out like that, I'd have gotten her out of there pronto, so as not to freak her out more.

[TrogL]

13. There are other parenting techniques besides outright abuse

My kids sometimes balked at unfamiliar situations. I allowed them time to acclimatize themselves to the scenario and then join in. Occasionally I'd even use reverse psychology and tell them they couldn't take part or threaten to leave, then they'd be right in there.

Some kids are different and need different styles.

I got thrown in the deep end and promptly had to fished out. I've been terrified of water ever since.

[MrCoffee]

15. Yeah, because outright abuse is what I'm advocating in the OP

I got to the pool 15 minutes early with LittleCoffee to give her a chance to get used to the surroundings. I said in the OP that she was apprehensive and nervous, and that was fine (I probably would have been, too). We talked about it, and I helped her into the water.

But if she had thrown a fit like those kids did, don't think for a second that I would have let her sit there and tried to coddle her or act like there wasn't a thing in the world wrong with that behavior. Because there is something wrong with that behavior. And letting it continue ad nauseum is piss-poor parenting, if it can even be called parenting.


I'm not my kid's best friend first, I'm their dad first. Too many parents my age don't know that.

[TrogL]

14. There are other parenting techniques besides outright abuse

My kids sometimes balked at unfamiliar situations. I allowed them time to acclimatize themselves to the scenario and then join in. Occasionally I'd even use reverse psychology and tell them they couldn't take part or threaten to leave, then they'd be right in there.

Some kids are different and need different styles.

I got thrown in the deep end and promptly had to fished out. I've been terrified of water ever since.

[Crazy Dave]

18. The type of parents who threaten to sue the school...

...if their kids fail their classes and aren't allowed to graduate. I'd bet money on it.

[MrCoffee]

19. Sucker bet.

Those parents are next in line for an ass whipping.

[mentalsolstice]

22. My mom threw us in the middle of the pool

And then she turned the water hose on us full blast in case we tried to dog paddle to the side. If nothing else we were great at treading water.

[DS1]

24. Your mom's an idiot