How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?

[ringmastery]

I have a relative who is mentally ill and lives on the streets and refuses any help from the family. We've tried to get her medical care for her illness. We've tried to get her a roof over her head and a job numerous times and she refuses to cooperate. She's resentful and distrustful of the family. We only hear from her once in a blue moon when she asks us to wire her money. We've looked into committing her but unless she's an imminent danger to herself or others, it's difficult to make it stick.

It's becoming a hopeless situation. She doesn't seem to care about living any more and every time we reach out to her, she pushes us further and further away.

[Dookus]

1. I saw your headline

and was about to say "You can't, unless they're mentally ill."

There are things you can do for a mentally ill person, but none of them are very pleasant. You should contact a local mental health organization - they can outline some options.

Best of luck - it must be hellish.

[mykpart]

2. This is really difficult, and I'm not sure if

I could do it myself, but I strongly believe that you have tried to help, and now you must respect her choices, even though they are bad ones. Try just getting together with her when you can, take her to eat if she will go, and send her money when she needs it. Perhaps if she feels accepted as she is by her family she will one day be able to accept more help from you. If she's distrustful of the family, then the family must win her trust before you can do anything for her.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

3. Unfortunately, you can't.... unless they want the help

and yeah, it is tough.

[Shanty Oilish]

4. Don't give up

Keep looking for answers. (I don't have any.) Keep making inquiries. Talk to anyone who'll listen. Govt, hospitals, church, private and public, whatever. Don't rule out anything, and never give up. The answer's out there somewhere.
Get to know the people who know her, no matter how distasteful they may seem to you. She's with someone---surviving somehow. If you don't make those connections, one day she might vanish and then it's too late to get acquainted with people who might know something helpful.
It's all very troublesome but you'll be saving her life, which is worth any amount of hardship.
You're in my prayers.

[KissMyAsscroft]

5. Try to get her to agree to take some medication..

If you can afford it, offer to pay for the meds...

That is a good first step. She is most likely depressed and possibly schizophrenic. Im assumiong that she is into drugs also..

Basically, if you can find her a place to stay...

Step 1) Get in touch with her and take her out to eat...try to make her laugh...Entice her with the option of being safe, and being able to feel safe again

Step 2) Get her in touch with a qualified doctor who can diagnose her and treat her with meds....Once she is on meds, she will be more reasonable to deal with.

Step 3) Find her some sort of stable environment, whether it is your home, or a friends home. Try to get a definite frame of a year to work with.

Step 4) Help her find work, and encourage her. When she is ready, helo her find a place of her own.


If you arent willing or able to make this much of a commitment and dedicate a full year to helping her, you should probably come to terms with the fact that there isnt much you can do at all to help her.

Hope this helps you some.