Make up your own folksy campaign saying...

[Wetzelbill]

You know, like the "lipstick on a pig" thing that McCain and Obama and others use sometimes. Go ahead and make up your own folksy campaign saying, and it can be absolutely nonsensical.

I'll start:

If you want a duck to walk straight you don't quack on the other side of the pond.

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. You don't beat a mule with your best fishin' pole.

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. If it walks like a horse, sounds like a duck, and flies like a turtle, it's Kafkaesque

and that ain't Christian no how.

[Wetzelbill]

3. Sometimes it takes a real ass to clean up after an elephant.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. If yer gonna spit in the backard, you better be ready to make some brownies,

that's all I'm sayin', hyuck hyuck hyuck, I tell you that.

[DS1]

5. John McCain: Chose torture over being on American soil

Is that leadership we can trust?

[Wetzelbill]

7. ohhhh sorry that was more "grizzled" than folksy

:rofl:

[Wetzelbill]

6. Often you just need to grab a horse by the bull's horns.

[DS1]

8. This campaign is serious as a hurricane telephone pole up the cornhole in a crackhouse

[DS1]

9. She's like a one-sided toaster working overtime on a rack of lamb

[DS1]

10. She's trying to update her John Deere mower with an invalid activation code

[Wetzelbill]

11. Taxes are like a poke in the eye, except I'd rather raise my eye than your taxes.

Ok, I scared myself on that one.

[DS1]

12. I see that vigorous mushroom stamps are back on the menu under Freedom Toast

[DS1]

13. Cleaner than a duck fart after a wire brush shower party

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. Orange Lightnin' and Uncle Festus make two things that don't have a q

[Wetzelbill]

15. My opponent runs around the issues like a chicken full of Ex-Lax

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. It ain't like pissin' a Franklin stove into a well-greased abattoir

[DS1]

17. Tastes like foie gras dipped in generic bbq sauce and looks like Hannah Montana ran through a PTO

[Wetzelbill]

18. I met tractors with more sense than those folks in Washington.

[DS1]

19. Older than old man cock wrangler and slower than a tied up and chloroformed college girl

[Wetzelbill]

20. If you ain't gonna buck some bales, get the hell outta the field!

[DS1]

21. Felt like a bullet wound you could throw a cat through and bled like a stuck pork link in Bermuda

[Wetzelbill]

22. Duck Tape, it's fantastic!

[DS1]

23. Even dumber than donating to democracticunderground.com

:hide:

[Wetzelbill]

24. You give a weasel enough bailin' twine, he'll hang hisself with it.

[Wetzelbill]

25. And that's why you never let the hog outta the pen!

[Wetzelbill]

26. I don't know 'bout her politics, but she looks like she got whupped with a purty stick.

[DS1]

27. If he got blood on the toe and shit on the heel it means he's got a knack for ass stompin

[Rabrrrrrr]

28. Can't run a chicken coop like'n it were an autonomous collective

[DS1]

29. Don't matter if the chicking or egg came first, I'm still having my abortion salad

[Wetzelbill]

30. And you can't balance the budget on two eggs in a hen house.

[Rabrrrrrr]

31. Havin' a Rolex don't make ya a beekeeper.

[DS1]

32. Went down like Japanese shit fountain scat porn at the bingo parlor for the deaf

[Wetzelbill]

33. If gubment ain't like that pond out back, well I don't know what the hell is!

[DS1]

34. He done swallowed the kernels and nuked his gut to make popcorn and blew himself up

[Wetzelbill]

35. Now their health care plan is older than my gramma's kick start vibrator.

[DS1]

36. Ain't no worse than shooting 15 people at comcast billing support

[Wetzelbill]

37. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

[Wetzelbill]

38. Now my grandpappy never taught me no thing like that!

[Wetzelbill]

39. Those folks in Washington are nuttier than a squirrel on Groundhog Day.

Labor Day, would also be a correct version.

[regularguy]

40. McCain: Change that's not all black and such like.

[Rabrrrrrr]

41. She's about as useful as an alan wrench at a bukkake party

[struggle4progress]

42. He reminds me of the time my dog caught a skunk

[struggle4progress]

43. With all the dead animals beside the road, there's no reason to be hungry

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

44. Damndest thing 't happened since the hawgs et Grampaw.

[Vanje]

45. Dont tuch the butt

[patomime]

46. Don't wake up and smell the coffee

ever!
:donut: