Welcome to my party -- now pay up!

[Liberal_in_LA]

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/09/10/lw.pay.for.my.party/index.html

Welcome to my party -- now pay up!

Guests could end up very surprised at parties where they get a bill

Some hosts don't warn their guests that they're expected to pay for party

Psychotherapist: Don't be bullied into paying unexpected bills

By Sarah Jio

(LifeWire) -- Think twice before accepting an invitation to a party. That's the lesson Tonya Bowman, 39, learned recently after a birthday bash for a newfound acquaintance at a pricey sushi restaurant.

(***snip***)

The bill for the birthday girl and her seven "guests" came to a whopping $3,450, which someone suggested splitting evenly. That worked out to $500 per person, plus tip.

"I almost started crying," says Bowman, a municipal employee in Oakland, California. "My heart was racing; my face felt hot. I was embarrassed, humiliated and angry for having been put in that position in the first place. I wasn't told that I would be helping to pay for her dinner."

When the bill was being passed around, Bowman panicked. "I simply put down $50 near my plate and excused myself to go to the restroom," she says. "I walked right by the restroom and out the front door."

The acquaintance sent Bowman an angry e-mail.

"She wanted me to know that I totally ruined her birthday dinner because she ended up having to cover the $450 that I was supposed to pay. She said she had planned to use that money on a spa day for her birthday and now she couldn't because of me. She asked if I could please pay her back, and if I didn't have the money right now, that was OK, because she would be willing to make payment arrangements with me.

"I didn't pay ... and she's no longer my friend or acquaintance."

[billyskank]

1. But when I go to parties at restaurants, we always pay our own way

Of course, I wouldn't go to a party in a restaurant where the bill would be that high. None of the people in my social circle would.

[alarimer]

2. I agree. This is weird.

Since when does someone go to a party at a restaurant and NOT expect to have to pay for their share? Obviously these people move in different social circles than I do, for sure. And the one who couldn't afford the tab- obviously she didn't know enough about her new acquaintance.

[skygazer]

3. Who wouldn't assume they were paying for at least their own meal?

And who wouldn't ascertain whether or not guests were chipping in for the honoree's meal? Every party at a restaurant I've been to, we've agreed beforehand to pay for the guest of honor's dinner and paid for our own.

Who did this person think was going to pay?

[Patiod]

4. If you're sitting in the banquet area, you don't pay

But if you're in the regular area, everybody pays their own way. It's just that easy.

But I agree with the previous poster - I wouldn't set foot in a restaurant that expensive (unless I was on expense account, and the client him/herself were there as the host - I don't hit my clients with giant entertainment expenses)