If your ex wrote to you on facebook and wanted to reminisce about your times together

[La Lioness Priyanka]

and you wanted it to stop, is this an adequate response:

i remember we had a terribly unequal, disappointing, incompatible and essentially unloving relationship.

i hope that you have found happiness. i certainly have.

i wish you the best but i really don't have any fond memories of you.

this is not meant to be harsh but just a candid statement. I am glad to know that you are well. that being said we didn't have anything in common 10 years ago and we probably have far less now.



He is my only ex whom i truly detest

[Rising Phoenix]

1. sugar coating it would only prolong the inevitable.

Interestingly, my ex found me on myspace, it did not end well.......but that is the past, we actually have much more in common now, probably as a result of knowing ourselfs better and all that.
He is actually becoming an important person in my life and we talk almost daily......

but I"ll stop babbling about me......I think the message is appropriate.....I mean, really, are there any nice ways to say "never talk to me again"

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. yeah thats exactly what i want to say but i dont want to sound petty

as though i am still hung up on him

[petronius]

3. Doesn't facebook have a block/ignore sort of function?

IMO, a non-response would be a clearer sign of wanting something to stop. As blunt and candid as your response is, it is still an engagement in the conversation...

[crim son]

4. I think that sounds reasonable. And it's the truth, right?

Normally I don't block such people because sometimes they, or I, need to set things straight & fair enough.

More importantly, Pri: last night I dreamed that you picked up my girlfriend who TOTALLY left me in the dust, hoping to be with you. I'm not entirely sure I'll ever forgive you. Hmph. :(

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. lol...

loveya

[skygazer]

6. Frankly, I wouldn't respond at all

If Facebook has a block feature, I'd use it and be done with it. If it doesn't, my response would be,

"Please do not contact me again."

[Gormy Cuss]

9. Ditto.

No need to waste any more words on him, except maybe the well wishes for his own life.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

25. i am not afraid of him and i dont want him to win. i dont want him to think i am hiding

or cannot face him or some such thing

[skygazer]

28. Well, in my opinion he wins by eliciting a response

It shows he can still get under your skin. When you can just ignore such a thing, I think it shows more than anything that the person has no power over you whatsoever. By telling him your opinion of the relationship, you're letting him know you acutally think about it.

That of course is just the way I see those things. :hi:

[Genevieve]

29. It doesn't mean he wins if you ignore hom.

by answering him, you are giving him "importance".
Ignoring him shows you "win".

[La Lioness Priyanka]

30. i understand what both of you mean however it would seem like hiding to me

and it would bother me. i read his response back and have put the profile on ignore

Perception and reality are opposite sides of the same coin, ergo; one and the same, and determined solely by self perception. I have no inherent compulsion to opine regarding yours.
However; it is absolutely imperative that I make you aware of mine, as it pertains to you. I have nothing but the fondest memories of you, and always will.
You may perceive a dichotomy between my past actions and these words. But it is the truth. I have tried on numerous occasions to reach you, having gone so far as to calling the International House. But to no avail.
It just happened so, that I was in New York for business this week, and a colleague of mine made me aware of the website. On my way to the airport this morning, I wrote you.
I take no offense to your words, because I am just glad to hear from you (besides I think you are a weirdo cat, anyway). I only ask that you keep my contact info., and use it if you ever need or feel compelled to speak to an egomaniacal man who thinks the world of you.

[Genevieve]

31. They always come back, don't they?

Even after a year, or two or three or even ten.

Your description of your ex in your OP reminded me of so many
past relationships I had when I was younger and not so self-actualized.
And, though these exes were
just like the description of your's that you wrote about, when I left them, I
was called, tracked down, stalked, you name it.

Their ridiculous egos can't andunderstand and refuse to believ that you don't want them anymore.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

32. also why would he think i would believe that horseshit?

that email smells of bs from miles away

[Genevieve]

33. I agree. nt

[Left Is Write]

7. It seems too nice to me.

If you detest him and the relationship was bad, you should be firm and direct and don't give him any reason to write to you again.

"I've closed the door on that chapter of my life. I've moved on, and I'm happy, and I have no desire to reminisce with you. Please don't contact me again."

[IndianaJones]

8. you didn't have to call me out. the restraining order was enough. nt.

[MilesColtrane]

10. I'd go with:

"Fuck off. You're dead to me."

[Redstone]

11. That should work. If it doesn't, you'll be correct in describing him as a stalker.

Redstone

[Tangerine LaBamba]

12. Ignore him

People like that will take any response - even a negative one, like what you propose - as encouragement, because they thrive on attention, no matter how odious.

I have an exhusband - we divorced 30 years ago - who still tries to contact me. Ignoring him is all I can do.

Block him and forget about him.

[Radical Activist]

13. If you enjoy hurting people

I'm sure that will do the job.

[IndianaJones]

17. from you....sweet, sweet irony. nt.

[Radical Activist]

18. Do I know you?

[IndianaJones]

19. thats not what your mom said last night. bwaahahaha. nt.

[Radical Activist]

21. Oh yeah. Are you the asshole who kept accusing me

of gaybashing and your proof was linking to a removed thread with nothing on it. YOU need to stop harassing me. You need to understand that it wasn't me and stop being a dick about it.

[IndianaJones]

22. now I feel hurt, why do you enjoy hurting people? nt

[La Lioness Priyanka]

24. one person doesnt equal people at large. and yes, i would like him to know

that by pretending he was nice to me doesnt actually change the fact that he wasnt.

[Radical Activist]

26. Well, it wasn't meant as a judgement.

If you want to hurt this person then its a good one to send. Sometimes people deserve it. But if you don't, then reword it. If an ex I had fond memories of sent me that I would find it hurtful.

[Radical Activist]

27. Then again

maybe something like that could make him think back and re-evaluate how he treats people, so just ignore me and do what you want, which I'm sure you would have anyway.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. I think you should just keep it to the last sentence:

I am glad to know that you are well. that being said we didn't have anything in common 10 years ago and we probably have far less now.

if he continues to after that I would block him, if such a feature is offered.

[zanne]

15. "I don't have fond memories of that time in my life". nt

[av8rdave]

16. That's more diplomatic than I would be...I probably would just ignore.

She's my ex for a lot of reasons! Sounds like the same for you.

[KitchenWitch]

20. If it were me, I would ignore him

And if he persists in trying to get in touch, I would block his sorry profile.

[Jamastiene]

23. Drop three hints similar to that one, then

block them. Or, at least, that is what I would do; kind of like "3 Strikes."

In any case, I hope you get it sorted soon. :hug:

[lady raven]

34. Wow- You have more class than I.

A year ago, my first husband sent a message on MySpace. I guess the word had gotten to him that my second marriage had ended two years prior and he wanted to get together and have sex on his upcoming visit to the town I live in.

I don't remember exactly what I said, but I ripped the abusive, womanizing piece of crap a new one.

[NewJeffCT]

35. What did I do to deserve that response?

sheesh, i was just trying to be friendly!

:evilgrin:


j/k - I'm not you, so if I ever found myself in that situation (unlikely!) - I'd probably just block them, if possible. Maybe, I'd first respond with "please don't contact me again" and then block.

[JanMichael]

36. too wordy. Try "fuck off."

You can personalize that "greeting" by adding such items as "sincerely...blah blah blah"....or

"and go straight to hell...."

etc.

But, start with "fuck off."

[MsTryska]

37. If he's an ex you detest

I wouldn't bother acknowledging at all. Just don't respond.


When my ex found me it was actually very good and healing for both of us. But then again we both have different lives now too, and realized you can't go back again.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

38. he really is my only ex whom i detest. everyone one i am atleast cordial with

and some i am friends with.

[raccoon]

39. I go with those who say just ignore him. nt

[amitten]

40. Nice response. He shouldn't be bothering you. n/t

[Chan790]

41. I'd ignore it for about 5 messages...

after which if they had not taken my non-responsiveness as a hint...I'd probably not be that nice even.

I'd use:

Please do not contact me again. I wish to never hear from you again. Fuck off and disappear.

[Iggo]

42. Wait a minute. He?

Dammit! :rofl:

Seriously, if you truly detest him, let him have it with both barrels.

Also, I'm old and I don't know anything about Facebook, but can you block him from posting?

[T_i_B]

43. I had a similiar one from my ex

It was clear from her message that she didn't think she was at fault for the breakdown of the relationship so I simply blocked her. No other response needed.

And I got the new Facebook layout over the weekend. It sucks as much as I expected what with all the anti-new layout groups on there now.