Do you think you can love more than one person at once?

[lightningandsnow]

Just kind of a general question.

I think so, but there are definitely people who would disagree with me.

[harmonicon]

1. yes, of course -

you just can't do anything about it - that's the catch.

[MrScorpio]

2. Before or after one depletes their supply of hormones?

[Droopy]

3. I take it to mean as lovers

I can't, but apparently some people can because some people say that they are polyamorous on the dating site I go to. I'd probably be much too jealous.

[billyskank]

4. Do you have children? Family? Friends?

You love them all, right? Maybe the mood of love is not the same in all cases, but the underlying attachment, the love itself, is there in all cases. So why could you not have romantic feelings towards two people at once? I am not saying that you should act in that way. But just pointing out that the feeling is possible, and I dare say almost everyone experiences it at some time.

[lightningandsnow]

5. Yeah.

It's not so much a personal thing as a kind of philosophical musing...

But I just realized I still kind of love one of my exes.

[billyskank]

6. I recommend not worrying about it.

You used to love him, and now find that the feeling never wholly went away? I say that simply indicates that you are a living, breathing, loving person.

:hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

7. Love in general? Of course.

Specific romantic sexual jump-your-bones love? Still of course.

:shrug:

[BeachBaby]

8. Of course you can.

But there are all different kinds of love, you know? I often use the term "strains" to describe it.

There is love that is more of a caring nature (ie., your pets); platonic love (ie., your friends); familial love (ie., siblings, parents, children).

Then we have that world-rocking, intensely emotional romantic love. The kind that one day can have you joyously shouting from the rooftops, and the next day have you crying in your pillow. The kind that has such a grip on your heart that it scares you. The kind that defies logic. And as much as you try, you can't shake it. It's with you forever.

[bicentennial_baby]

28. You said it

"that world-rocking, intensely emotional romantic love. The kind that one day can have you joyously shouting from the rooftops, and the next day have you crying in your pillow. The kind that has such a grip on your heart that it scares you. The kind that defies logic. And as much as you try, you can't shake it. It's with you forever."

Especially the last sentence. :toast:

[billyskank]

31. Pah.

I wouldn't know.

And I am sure I never will

[bicentennial_baby]

34. Awwwww....I'm sure you will

really. :hug:

Me, I have too much of that. Want some? I could use a simpler life. :)

:hug:

:loveya:

[crim son]

9. Yes, but in different ways.

Even romantic loves comes in different forms and degrees.

[Haole Girl]

10. Yes

People will disagree, because people are all different. :hi:

[fizzgig]

11. absolutely

there are many different types of love.

if you're talking strictly romantic love, i still say yes. there is a part of me that will always love some of my exes.

[RetroLounge]

12. I have, but I was much younger then...

:hi:

RL

[Lyric]

13. Oh yes. I've done so.

I am fully capable of being very much in love (romantically) with more than one person at a time. I've always been honest about that, and I've made sure that my love partners were in agreement with me about it. There are more relationship possibilities than just the traditional two-person scenario. :hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. yes. there are as many kinds of love as there are people to love.

momma love. daddy love. sister love. brother love. agape love. erotic love. i love. you love. we all love. love makes the world go round.

[HEyHEY]

15. "Nope, you work out who you like best and pretend not to like anyone else"

Ah, Jezz

[In_The_Wind]

16. Absolutely ~ yes!

[VoodooGuru]

17. Simple in theory, unbelievably complicated in practice.

This question has prompted a whole lot of different answers, in literature and in real life.

We have a lot of taboos about actually practicing romantic love with two or more people at a given time. In marriage, the typical understanding is that you are not only not supposed to act on such impulses, you're not supposed to entertain them in your head, either. If you're in love with a person outside of your marriage, and the object of that affection reciprocates, even if you do nothing about it at all including acknowledging it to that person, by some lights that's an affair.

Even beyond marriage your partner's expectations can include a similar degree of exclusivity. Granted, I live in what's traditionally known as the South, so people are a bit more hung up than usual about the concept of cheating, but for many people it's a real breach of trust to harbor feelings. But consider that marriage was not, traditionally, about love at all, but property, and it's only a relatively recent development that people started marrying for love, but prohibitions against adultery stretch back all the way to Moses and beyond.

And yet we know, or should know, that in practice it's just not that simple. Old flames that burn particularly hot, or ones that smolder for a long time, are very hard to completely extinguish. Or marriages that last a long time, or that have particularly high mileage for the time they have lasted, are prone to boredom, frustration, and disenchantment. People who don't feel loved, or who don't love the person they're with anymore but need to love somebody, look elsewhere to meet their emotional needs. The need to love is just as powerful as the need to be loved.

People also fall out of love but into denial about it, and when they start entertaining thoughts about another person or a person they once loved while already in a long-term relationship, they start asking this question, when really they aren't in love with two people at the same time at all, or even necessarily with one. It's possible to fool yourself into believing that you're still in love with an old flame when what's really going on is that something is broken in your current relationship, and you start remembering the way a different person made you feel because you don't feel that way now and would very much like to again.

Do I really have an answer to the question? No, because I don't feel there is a single answer beyond "it depends." Love is, almost by definition, case-specific to the people involved in it.

[UndertheOcean]

18. Yes , ofcourse , you can love billions if you want to

[RadiationTherapy]

19. Ugh. What a pain in the ass. I keep my love gland on a very short leash.

[Lucian]

20. Why not?

[mcctatas]

21. Unfortunately, yes...

I have recently found this to be all too true...

[Iggo]

22. Oh god yes! (n/t)

[SarahB]

23. Yes.

I wish I had the energy to be a full-fledged poly person. I don't think I'd have enough to give to another serious relationship. Frankly, I'm not sure if I could handle the emotions and potential heartache of loving more than one person. Not now anyway.

To make that stuff work you need absolute communication and honesty within your relationships. It can't be behind anyone's back.

[JitterbugPerfume]

24. of course you can

but it takes LOTS of energy!

[Forkboy]

29. LOL

I like the cut of your jib. :rofl:

[JitterbugPerfume]

32. Hee Hee

[bicentennial_baby]

25. Yes indeed

It's not for everyone though. :)

[bigwillq]

26. Yes

I truly believe that.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

27. absolutely.

[conscious evolution]

30. Absolutely yes

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. If you can't, that's pretty damned sad.

[krispos42]

35. You love your parents, right?

Grandparents?

Then yes.


If you mean romantic love, though... probably. I would assume so.


There are many people on the planet we can love who can love us back. There isn't "The One", there is just "The One You Find First".

Otherwise there'd be like four dozen married couples in the country, as the odds of finding The One in a world of 7 billion people is pretty damn remote.



However I do not speak from experience. I've only found 1 so far, and we're divorced. :-|

[NashVegas]

36. If You Can Love One, You Will Love Many

It's what you do about it that matters.