OK, already. *I* killed Jesus

[Dookus]

now just shut up about it already. It was a long time ago. I'm sorry, but what's done is done.

[Blue_State_Elitist]

1. You better hope

there are no freeper lurkers around. Watch your back ;)

[Dookus]

4. Bring 'em on...

if I can take out the Son of God, I ain't afraid of the spawn of Satan.

[BigMcLargehuge]

6. I got your back Dookus, my brother

With Big McLargehuge on your side, there is no way in hell they can hurt you.

ROCK ON!!!

[Dookus]

9. Aren't you the guy

that beat the crap out of the Buddha? Good work, my friend. You showed him the middle way of your fists.

[BigMcLargehuge]

10. he started it with that one hand clapping shit

I had to do it... It was like beating up a mime.

[AlienGirl]

12. The sound of one hand clapping is a slap in the face!

[BigMcLargehuge]

15. it looked sort of like this... just imaging the people in the foreground

are the Buddha.

[everythingsxen]

16. So I walks up to Jesus and I says...

"What did the five fingers say to the face?"

and he said "Huh?"

and I said "slap!" and I slapped him and said "I'm Longines bitch!"

[ronnykmarshall]

2. I did Jesus.

That's pronouced "Hey Soos". He is this hot latin feller I met when I lived in SF.

[pagerbear]

32. I did his tax return

Jesus Mendes, that is.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

39. Shouldn't you have said

"I nailed Jesus?" :D

[everythingsxen]

3. I stabbed him to make sure he was dead...

So were you Pilate? Or the guy who.. *ahem* put him up?

:evilgrin:

Note: Yes, I am going to hell. Thanks. :P

[AlienGirl]

5. Now, Xen...

How many times do I gotta tell you, there is no hell? If there were, how do you explain that you are not in it right now? Hmm?

Tucker

[everythingsxen]

8. Shhh....

It was just to make the fundies go away. Now they will want to save my soul because I don't believe in hell...

[blondeatlast]

7. No, it was me--and my gang...

the the Human Sinners.

[kixot]

11. No, it was me.

Fed him tainted fish. Wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't multiplied it into a hundred tainted fish. My bad.

[Elidor]

13. I knew it was you. I told everyone, but they wouldn't listen.

Sherrif John Brown is comin' for ya.

I shot the Jesus
But I swear it was in self-defense
I shot the Jesus
And they say it is a capitol offense

Reflexes got the betta of me
I gone an' shot the de-ity
Ev'ry day the bucket goes to the well
And I don't...I don't know what that means

[MrSlayer]

14. Good for you. How many experience points do you get?

He is at least a demi-god.

[everythingsxen]

17. An assload of xp...

The whole Roman army got like 3 levels each out of it.

We also lost a bunch because the DM thought we were supposed to "learn something".

What a dumbass.. we come to kill not have some big moral drama. Sheesh. He is DMing for the wrong group.

[salinen]

18. That's what you think

I did the deed, propped him up, added a little rouge to his cheeks to make him look lively, and then hid behind a column until you came along and thought you killed him.

[Dookus]

19. ahh...

but three days later, he was up and around.

That's when I killed him. Killed him real good, I did.

[Interrobang]

20. Whatta bunch of old people on this thread!

Either that, or are you all immortals? If so, I'm coming for you with a really, really big sword! ;-)

[Dookus]

21. bring it on, whippersnapper

[pagerbear]

33. Not that size matters or anything.

[VOX]

38. By crackey, I've a mind to put in my teeth, get up outta this rocker...

an' come over there an' bite ya, sonny.

But my rheumatizz is actin' up. Consider yourself spared!

:toast: :toast: :toast:

on edit: dad-gummed typos!

[rucky]

22. I'm not Anti-Dooketic or anything, but

SHAME! SHAME!

[cally]

23. Please, enough

I understand that many don't believe as I do but this is extremely offensive. I don't ask you to support my beliefs but I do ask for some respect for mine.

[salinen]

25. Sorry cally

as a Jew kid growing up in a non-Jew neighborhood, I was accused of this many times. Since Jesus was not a topic in my household, I had no idea who I murdered. My kid brain was confused. But I took the blame anyway.

[cally]

29. I grew up confused also

I had Jewish friends and tried to understand how they had killed Jesus. My kid brain was also confused. I've grown in my faith and my understanding. I hate what Gibson portrays (from what I read..I'm not seeing it) but it is also prevalent in some Christian beliefs.

I'm sorry you were accused of killing Jesus. I don't know what to say since it is so wrong. I saw it happen in my own life. It's wrong.

[cally]

24. I know that Gibson's Passion is inflammatory

I'm not happy about it and very scared that violence will result from his interpretation of the Bible. Let's discuss our beliefs but not ridicule others' faiths.

[Dookus]

26. Cally

I'm in no way ridiculing your beliefs. I apologize if I gave that impression. I'm ridiculing the fuss over this stupid movie.

[cally]

30. Thanks..I think

this movie is ridiculous.

[Interrobang]

27. Why not? What if we ridiculed everyone's faiths equally?

Personally, I think religion in general is pretty ridiculous...but at the same time, I know some really good "atheist jokes".

[orwell]

28. Forgiven

I just spoke with Jesus.

He forgives you.

O

[Dookus]

31. that's why I killed him

that whole forgiving thing just gets on my nerves

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

34. Naw, man. Went to Vegas with him last week.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

35. Nice guy, I got sick in the bathroom and he helped clean it up...

[flaminbats]

36. But wait a sec...

I thought that was the anti-christ we nailed!

"Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that Antichrist shall come, even now are there many Antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time.
They went out from us, but they were not afraid of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.
Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is Antichrist, that denieth the Father and Son.
Whoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. Little children, let no man deceive you; he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous.
In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother."

[VOX]

37. No. No. No. Will Pitt did it! Remember? We are all Will Pitt...

So, therefore, WP did the sorry deed. Apologies, Will, but it would have gotten out sooner or later.

But you're one hell of a writer! :toast:

(And if that ain't worth 30 pieces of silver, my name ain't..*insert choking sounds here*)