900-Pound Giant Squid Joins Cast Of 'The View'

[Pale Blue Dot]

According to fans of the show, the squid's most memorable moment thus far occurred last week, when it got a little testy during a discussion on whether teenage girls are getting "too sexy too soon" and squirted 12 gallons of ink onto Sherri Shepherd. The antic was met with laughter and applause from the studio audience.

"That was the moment this squid became a star," said View co-executive producer Bill Geddie, who has already booked the multi-tentacled mollusk on The Tonight Show and Live With Regis And Kelly, and has laid the groundwork on a deal for it to take over hosting duties of the syndicated version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire in 2010.

In addition, the squid has already netted its own weekly segment on The View, "The Giant Squid's Gourmet Corner," which features quick and easy culinary tips for viewers at home.

Fan reaction to the giant aquatic invertebrate has been mostly positive. A recent ABC poll claims that the squid is connecting well with housewives and single mothers over 35.

"I like the squid," said Chicago resident Anna Herskowitz, 46. "I really relate to it. More than I relate to Elisabeth Hasselbeck, anyway."

Some viewers, however, have complained that the squid is too conservative. During an interview last week with Republican presidential candidate John McCain, the squid sat silently sprawled across the center of the studio and didn't ask the senator a single hard-hitting question.

"That squid is there for one reason, and that's to push its right-wing conservative agenda," Denver, CO viewer Mary Foley said. "Come on, give us viewers a little credit here."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/900_pound_giant_squid_joins_cast

[TZ]

1. Hehehehe.

I knew it was gonna be an onion story by the headline but its still awesome...:)

[Parche]

2. Hasselbeck Has Salmonella

She got it on Porpoise.....................

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Oh, I thought you meant Oprah.

[tigereye]

4. reminds me of the Python sketches where they interviewed trees and blocks

of wood....

[KamaAina]

6. Or the blancmange that won Wimbledon...

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. The blancmange didn't win

It was eaten by Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Q. Brainsample of the planet Skyron in the galaxy Andromeda, where blancmanges are that large.

The winner was Angus Podgorny, the plucky little Scottish tailor upon whom everything depends. Despite being down 72 match points to the blancmange, Podgorny avenged the death of his wife, Mary, who was et by a blancmange, by defeating himself in the final... 15 years later.







If you watch the DVD in slow motion, though, you can clearly see that his winning shot went beyond the baseline.

[KamaAina]

11. You probably think Bush won Florida

:P

[Oeditpus Rex]

13. No, but I do think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone when he shot

Osama bin Laden. :D

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. And a duck, a cat and a lizard

And my personal favorite, a small patch of brown liquid — which could be creosote or some extract used in industrial varnishing.

Good evening.

[tigereye]

12. oh that's the one I couldn't remember! The small patch of brown liquid!

:rofl:


I love the Brits! They have the most wonderfully subtle sense of humor.

[Oeditpus Rex]

14. Remember, too, the humans they interviewed

The man who says things in a very roundabout way, the man who speaks entirely in anagrams, the man who speaks only the beginnings of words, the man who speaks only the middles of words, the man who speaks only the ends of words...



:D

[sasquatch]

5. "I like the squid, I really relate to it. More than I relate to Elisabeth Hasselbeck, anyway."

:rofl:

[DarkTirade]

7. ... now I want to start watching.

[undeterred]

8. They invited the wrong squid. This one is more intellectual.