Would you join a religion based on me?

[Robb]

[Wickerman]

1. Please outline your stand on clowns

Hey, I don't have any thing against clowns - some of my best friends are clowns - I want to better understand your clwon stance before I commit.

thank you.

[pagerbear]

3. Love the clown, hate the clowning around

[Robb]

4. I take only what I found in scripture:

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the clowns and the tyranny of clownish men.

Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the clowns.

For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost cotton candy and large shoes.

And I will strike down upon clowns with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to juggle and twist balloons into unholy shapes.

And you will know I am the Dingbat when I lay my vengeance upon clowns.

[waterman]

7. That is just too fucking funny!

[ret5hd]

2. First I would have to know your churches position on...

helping members of the congregation who are financially destitute.

If your churches position is to help their members in that position...

SIGN ME UP!!!!!!!!!

On edit: I'll PM you the address you can send my checks to. :)

[Zero Gravitas]

5. What would it be called?

Dingbatism? The Church of Robbology?

[Robb]

6. The First Reformed Church of Volume.

Things will be worshipped depending upon how much they displace. And we will be against clowns.

Example: A hippo would be more holy than a can of Pepsi.

Another: A combat boot would be more holy than a piece of paper, UNLESS the paper had something written on it that was against clowns. Then the paper would be more holy.

If the boot bore anti-clown markings, it would be decided by a cage match between Ed Asner and Jennifer Aniston.

...Actually, I mean it would be decided during a cage match between Ed Asner and Jennifer Aniston.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

22. Wheeeee! I am HOLY!

112 kg of pure Digbaptist devotion! Yay!

[Robb]

31. Thou art indeed most holy!

...And upon verification of how much water you displace, your likeness will be carved in enormous hardened blocks of forgotten brown sugar!

Hallelujah!!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

34. BOW BEFORE ME, o displacers of lesser volumes!

For blessed is he who worships at the All You Can Eat temple with devout sincerity and diligent dedication to Dingbaptist Voluminous ritual! All hail St. Rodízio, patron saint of Brazil!

[11 Bravo]

8. Would I be Dingbatic, Dingbatish, or Dingbatian?

Hey, these things matter!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

21. Dingbaptist. I, living so far South, would be a Southern Dingbaptist. (nt)

[Rowdyboy]

9. I am the very model of a modern Priest Divinical...

My roots are southern baptist, Roman catholic and rabbinical
And if you think I'll join your cult your logic is quite winneable
Because, you see, my take on life now borders on the cynical..."

Because, you see, his take on life now borders on the cynical..."



I had a dozen lines of a "Pirates of Penzance" parody based on Wesley Clark's campaign but never had the guts to post it!

[Robb]

11. Brilliance!!

:D :thumbsup:

You get to be an altar boy. This means you run the barbecue grill. ;)

[Rowdyboy]

18. Excellent

As long as the "High" priest is very cute, I'll be his altarboy. I've always wanted to be an altarboy to find out what they wear under those robes :evilgrin:

[Robb]

19. They'll be wearing

Hulk Underoos. Of course. :)

[Rowdyboy]

28. I hope they come in my size!

:eyes:

[Exultant Democracy]

10. Tricky Robb

Since the right answer is always Robb is a dingbat you have backed me into a corner. As long as you are going to forcefully convert me can I be a high priest or something (maybe in charge of your inquisition against thoes against Clowns.)

[Robb]

12. Grand Inquisitor LeviathanCrumbling!

Report for duty at 10 AM. You will be issued a feather duster and a box of saltines. :)

[Exultant Democracy]

16. Is this going to have an adverse effect on my place in the Church of Oscar

[SOteric]

13. Will there be a little puff of white smoke

-coming from the Dingbatican?

[Loonman]

14. It would have to involve beer

Sitting on chairs, too.

[matcom]

15. are thongs welcome in the congregation?

how are the Yaks seen?

oh and can i substitute scotch for the wine?

[Robb]

17. Yaks, obviously, more holy than thongs.

This is the Church of Volume, you understand.

But scotch would be fine, as long as you make sure your bottle of scotch is larger than something else. And therefore more holy.

Further clarification: Bottle of scotch, more holy than a drinking straw.

A drinking straw, more holy than Lara Flynn Boyle. :evilgrin:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

20. You have your first foreign missionary (nt)

[Padraig18]

23. If I can have more than a SIP of wine at communion, let's talk...

:P

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

24. What part of (hic) Church of VOLUME (hic) you don't (hic) understand?

(hic) :beer:

[Padraig18]

26. Sign me up, then!

Slainte! :toast:

[Robb]

30. I quote from the Fifth (heh) Book...

...of Hogshead:

Alas for those who lie on beds of squeaky noses, and climb in their tiny cars, and eat ice coated with blue liquid, and sausage dipped in batter on a stick;

Who sing idle songs to the sound of the banjo, and like Carrot Top improvise on instruments of found objects; who drink non-alcoholic beer from bowls, and anoint themselves with the finest greasepaint, but are not grieved over the ruin of wine left overnight uncorked!

Therefore they shall now be the first to go into exile, and the revelry of the Loungers shall hide their screams.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

25. no offense, but I've already been Robbed...

I prefer to be Dobbed. :D

[Seldona]

27. Other

I disagree with organized religion in any form whatsoever.

:)

[Parrcrow]

29. Only if I can become a Robbite Televangelist.

I will solicit donations until I am sitting on a mountain of cash.
I will encourage political activism on behalf of whatever the hell I like.
I will denounce any and all behavior of my enemies.
I will adopt a ridiculous hairstyle.
I will fund at least one university.
I will smite thine enemies (or anybody else who pisses me off)with my holy hypocicy.
Finally
I will diversify my portfolio and go on the lam.


all in your name.

[JohnLocke]

32. Kick (nt)

[POed_Ex_Repub]

33. A question about the mighty Robb

*In humble deference*

Could Robb create a poll so outlandish, that not even Robb could vote on it?

O8)

[Robb]

35. Good question!

Got me, bub. :shrug:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

37. Grand Inquisitor LeviathanCrumbling, report.

We have our first heretic.

And no, this comment HASN'T been edited. Were you saying something?

[KG]

36. only if i get the 76 virgins BEFORE i die.

:)

[Robb]

38. Actually, we offer 77.

And they're like virgins, only more experienced. And their families all own liquor stores. :)

[POed_Ex_Repub]

39. Oooh... sign me up then

76 wasn't convincing.. but once you got over that 76 1/2 mark, I was sold...

And about the volume thing.. I'm torn

Beer = Good, so More Beer = Better

:beer:

However that also means...

5% income tax = good, so 99% income tax = Better ???

Not that I would ever question a deity... ;)

[Robb]

40. First Reformed Church of Volume on Same-Sex Marriage:

All marriages are holy, provided one partner displaces more volume than the other partner.

The partner who displaces more volume shall have dominion over the marriage. Unless this partner is a clown.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

41. A sensible policy. (nt)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

42. I worship at the alter of the dingbat