I have trouble sleeping when my boyfriend stays over.

[alarimer]

and I don't mean that in a good way. I literally do not sleep at all when he is here. It doesn't happen all that frequently but when it does, I don't get any sleep. I am worried that this is going to kill my relationship because I might have to move out of town for work. Then we would only see each other on weekends and we would have to stay over at each other's places. I am not a normal person. I don't understand what's wrong with me. Should I go get a prescription from my doctor? Gee, how romantic. I have to take a sleeping pill so I can stand to have you in bed with me, dear.

[moriah]

1. Is it because of him, or something else?

I was raped as a young teen, and I had a very difficult time sleeping in front of people, especially men, for a long time.

Some men I have dated triggered that same feeling in me, and it turned out they were jerks, but using it as a barometer for my instincts (whether I could truly trust the person) only started happening later after I'd gotten therapy.

But there are people who have simply slept so long by themselves that it is very difficult to sleep with any noise in the room, etc.

I wouldn't recommend sleeping pills if you think it is a trust issue that is making it difficult.... especially if your instincts turned out to be well-founded.

But I also have severe insomnia normally, and so my man is not offended at all by the fact that I sometimes have to take a pill to sleep.

[alarimer]

2. I am not entirely certain.

I have some sleep issues already, especially on Sunday nights before the workweek. Occasional insomnia, which usually lasts for a few days and then stops. So I am not really sure. I have slept along for about 8 years before I met him, so there is that. I also have trouble simply sharing a room with someone. When I went to my grandmother's funeral last year, I shared a room and did not sleep the whole week. Or at least I didn't sleep much.

I do have problems with intimacy in general so that might be an issue as well.

[alarimer]

3. Does anyone have any ideas?

Or am I doomed to live alone forever?

[Skittles]

4. perhaps you simply enjoy sleeping alone

I know I do - it's not a crime you know.....have all the loving you want but just sleep in separate beds - it works for me

[siligut]

5. I second this.

I talk/walk in my sleep and have been know to punch my husband, so him moving into another room, it was his idea. I think it actually helps with intimacy.

[alarimer]

6. Maybe so.

We both live in one-bedroom apartments currently, although I was thinking of renting a two-bedroom when I move for this reason.

And maybe I am making too big a deal out of it.

[Bake]

7. One word: Ambien.

You're welcome.

Bake

[alarimer]

9. I've been thinking about that.

I don't know much about it, other than it sometimes makes people do weird things.

[Systematic Chaos]

11. Ambien CR completely fixed my sleep, and my sanity.

I had insomnia so bad I was missing one or more days of work per week, for months. My mental processes had completely broken down and sometimes my wife would have to repeat things to me 3 times for them to sink in even for a while. At least we both knew it was due to insomnia otherwise we'd have been terrified. Anyway, my doctor gave me a butt-ton worth of samples and my problems pretty much ended the first night, and with no strange side effects.

After about 3 months I quit it on my own, cold turkey, and was fine. I still have a few pills for emergencies. Like last night I took one for obvious reasons. :)

[alarimer]

12. I think I am going to ask about it.

I am not sure I need it every night because my insomnia is only occasional, usually Sunday nights and on trips.

[MissMillie]

8. If you're used to sleeping alone

it may take some getting used to... having someone there.

[alarimer]

10. Yes.

And it might be worse because it only happens infrequently.

[littlebit]

13. I have been with the same person for almost nine years

and I cannot sleep in the same bed with her. I am a very light sleeper and she talks in her sleep. Usually when I am home I say up all night long or sleep on the couch.