Single DUers....

[malta blue]

How does one go about meeting people these days?

I am newly single and have not been on a date in many years. In fact, I wouldn't even have the slightest idea where to go meet men in my area.

I am a single mom, almost 40, living in a relatively small town....

:banghead:

[taterguy]

1. Get a dog

Especially if your small town is large enough to have a park where dog owners hang out

[malta blue]

2. I have two dogs. No dog parks in town.....

plus, my dogs would probably cause any man to run for the hills....

[MissHoneychurch]

3. Try that online thingy

you meet idiots but also good men. Just try it. If it doesn't work for you ... at least you tried.

Good luck :D

:hug:

[malta blue]

4. I would try a DU single forum

but wow - I just peeked at the craigslist (I know, the others are probably safer) just to see - and OMG - there are some scary criteria :scared:

:hug:

How are you?

[MissHoneychurch]

5. It can be scary

but also fun.

A DU single forum I would love too, even though I live rather far away :)

I am doing fine. 2 more months and then I will move into my condo. Can't wait.

How are you doing? Beside the looking around? :hug:

[malta blue]

8. You must be so excited about the condo!

I am not really looking, per se, just curious - and a tad lonely I suppose.

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

15. I am very excited

I want this move to be over with and sit in my new living room, sipping on a wine. Or stand on my balcony, having a tea and look into the hills ... sigh ... when is January 8th????

Sorry you are lonely. You know what helps? Open youtube and play songs from your youth or just songs you like. I am doing that right now. Listening to songs I haven't heard in ages and singing along :)

And you are in no hurry with looking for a man. Enjoy yourself!!! I learned you can be happy if you are content with yourself.

:hug:

[malta blue]

17. Your new place sounds wonderful!

Can you get a kitty there too?

I am quite comfortable in my own skin, which is great. I just wonder how the heck people meet others these days. You know, now that I am older, there is no "going to a bar" type thing happening at all.

I am going to watch "The Great Outdoors" tonight when I get home. I know it is a dumb movie, but it just crack me up. :rofl:

[MissHoneychurch]

20. I just looked at pictures for kitties

from shelters. Since I will own my new place I can have kitties there. And I get the feeling I will get me two next year. The yearning gets too strong.

Why shouldn't you go to a bar anymore??? I am sure with 40 you are more confident about going by yourself than with 20.

[malta blue]

22. I just get irritated by drunks.

:shrug:

I find most of the people at bars to be way too young for me, and they act like it is amateur night anyway.

Alas, I will go watch my silly movie tonight. :D

I can't wait for your new kitty pics!!!

[MissHoneychurch]

25. Do they have over30 parties in the U.S.?

those parties are fun. They play songs from the 70s and 80s and you can be sure there aren't any kiddos :rofl:

First I have to get me the kitties. But when I get them you can be sure I will post pics.

Silly movies are always good. Just watching a silly song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH8gtrD4_C4&feature=related

[malta blue]

26. I have never heard of that....

That song is hysterical.

People here at work were wondering what I was laughing at....

Thanks :pals:

[MissHoneychurch]

27. It is a German group from the 70s

singing most their songs in German. That one was their greatest hit and they sang it in English too.

Hey, you are laughing ... that is all I wanted :)

:hug:

[malta blue]

28. thank you MHC

:loveya::loveya:

[buzzycrumbhunger]

6. Even worse that single and clueless

. . . is working a graveyard shift and sleeping all day. The only time I get out of the house on my days off, I still can't be awake at normal hours. My social life consists of cruising the aisles of WM on my 3 a.m. grocery trip, and the only other people up at that hour are drunks and teenaged boys in search of emergency condoms. :eyes:

My daughter keeps telling me I need to start playing WoW because there are tons of men there. . . (Biggest laugh is that's where she met her BF, and he actually is a real gem.) Hopefully, someone will give you some good advice and I can take notes. ;)

[malta blue]

10. That's funny!

:hi:

Welcome to DU.

My 9 y/o daughter plays WoW with her dad. I am just not into video games at all. :shrug:

[Mutley]

54. WoW is awesome

but I'm not sure it's a really efficient place to meet single men. :P

[Parche]

7. me too

:hi: :hug:

[malta blue]

11. it stinks

:hi:

:hug: BTW - I am so glad you are back :pals:

[evlbstrd]

9. Meet me at the inauguration?

[malta blue]

12. yeah, well you have one of those scary usernames...

:rofl:

[evlbstrd]

35. I'm not nearly as scary as you might think.

[Danger Mouse]

13. Learn to hate other people and coat yourself in bitterness.

:hi:

[malta blue]

14. I can't.

I am an inherently nice person.

:hi:

[buzzycrumbhunger]

LMAO--I've got the bitterness down

It just means the only people who hit on me online always turn out to be other ornery women. :) (Must stop picking gender neutral usernames, damnit!)

[Blue_Tires]

16. i'm lost as well

and need advice

[malta blue]

18. ...

:hug:

[KamaAina]

19. You can't seriously be asking me

That would be like using Sarah Palin as your lifeline on a geography question. :dunce:

[malta blue]

23. LOL

:rofl::rofl:

[fizzgig]

21. try volunteering

that could be one way or find a club for one of your interests - gardening, reading or the like.

you mentioned you're in a small town, but is there a drinking liberally chapter in your area?

eta: good luck :hug:

[malta blue]

24. thanks for the ideas

:hug:

[bikebloke]

29. I started meeting people when I went travelling again.

I took a two week jaunt to Argentina. Back in the old backpacking life, I was meeting all sorts of people again. Of course, it was here today, no tomorrow. And it is expensive. But it was nice to break away from my solitaire life.

At the Buenos Aires hostel, a chica working there asked why I was leaving. Work on Monday. That stinks, she said. Then told me they were all happy to see my name on the list to attend the asado. Everybody loved me. So I guess I'm not too hideously ugly now.

[IndianaJones]

30. church. nt.

[TZ]

31. grocery store

:P

[IndianaJones]

32. emergency room. nt.

[Dr. Strange]

33. Grad school.

That's where I met my wife.

The good news: you meet smart people like me.
The bad news: you meet weird people like me.

:D:hi:

[supernova]

34. Try Meetups

meetup.com

These are online clubs essentially for various interests and hobbies: knitting, exercise, wine clubs, business contacts of various stripes. Every interest you can immagine, there's a meetup for it. This is how Howard Dean's groups first started, through meetups.

I've met loads of people through them and now belong to two writers' groups,

Also, ditto the grocery store. The hottest pickup joint around here, so I hear, is the frozen foods case in store in downtown Raleigh. ;-)

Having said all that, I haven't met anyone yet worth more than momentary interest. :-(

[Pierre.Suave]

36. I go shopping for beds...

I should go talk to that girl now that I am single again...

[underpants]

37. Volunteer at a Dem office/county organization

there are LOTS of good looking nice people there

Trust me. Every 4 years I am amazed at who I see at campaign offices.

[Lucian]

38. I have no idea.

I've been single for a couple of years now and I have no idea where to find women. I just figure I'll let them find me. :shrug:

[Blue_Tires]

39. kick....i got nothin'

[Corgigal]

40. Parents without partners meetings

See if they have any of those meetings in your area. I went to one, years ago and met some nice people.

[lost-in-nj]

41. MB I have learned that

it will come when you least expect it

I found 2 "someones" with out looking

lyrics
you found me when I wasn't looking

one was to far away :cry:

the other

we are still working on it slowly .

it took a while


:hug:

live a little and take care of yourself....

you know what they say about

living good is the best revenge

lost

pm if you need to talk

[Ohio Joe]

42. I don't know

But if you find out, tell me!

[DarkTirade]

43. ... if we knew, why would we still be single?

:P

Seriously though, only reason I've managed to make new friends and whatnot since I moved is because I went to school. Beyond that, I got nothin'.

Then again I'm pretty anti-social.

[Breeze54]

44. I am a single mom, over 50, living in a relatively small town... and I met a guy...

... a week or so ago. ;) He said he wasn't "looking for a relationship". Yeah, OK!

Then why are you talking to me and buying me drinks and deciding NOT to leave after

you asked for your tab?! :P I said; "Don't flatter yourself!" :rofl:

He said I was a wise ass! He's right but he liked it! ;)

He talked about himself a lot! (don't they always?) :D but I egged him on!

He revealed his total ignorance about politics and the internet! :P Kind of cute though!

So; we decided to be "coffee" friends and he gave me his cellphone number. ;)

I called him a week later, left a message. He didn't call back. (par for the course)

BUT last Thursday night my son and I went into the same place for dinner and the waitress

went home unbeknownst to us, so I got up looking for her on the the bar side of the pub and

there he was! :P He looked and looked again and then waved to me and then got the manager's

attention and said, "There's a lady in the other room that needs some help!" ;)

He waved to me profusely, so I went over to say hello while my son settled the check.

He remembered what we had talked about last week and asked about how it was going!!!!!! ;)

He's older than me and a hippie freak with a head band (always on his head) and has 'muscles' too! ;)

I think he owns a construction company and he has a pretty good sense of humor.

How do I meet men? Not often but I just talk to them when I see one I like!

Most of them are shy at that age, imho. ;)

Good luck! At 40 or 50, what have we got to lose? ;)

[deadparrot]

45. OKCupid.

Free dating site, with this a fun matching algorithm that gives you a really good idea of your compatibility with someone.

http://www.okcupid.com/home

[KG]

52. okcupid is totally lame.

i don't see the point of having to play games, answer stupid questions and jump thru hoops to contact someone.

JMNSHO. :)

[deadparrot]

55. You don't "have to" do anything.

But answering questions about yourself and what you want in a relationship does significantly increase your chances of finding a compatible match.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

59. totally

:thumbsup:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

46. Darned if I know

Just stay active and do things that are pleasant and/or fulfilling for you, and even if you don't meet someone, you won't be sitting at home moping.

When I moved back to Minneapolis after 19 years away, I got back into the social swing of things by joining a church choir and eventually volunteering in some of the church's programs, volunteering for the Kucinich campaign (which started at the urging of some DUers who live in the area), hanging out in my local coffee shop and striking up conversations, and taking classes at the YWCA.

It took a while--I work out of my home, so there's no "office crowd" for me--but I feel well settled in the area now.

[tabbycat31]

47. good luck

seriously I'm a perpetually singe 28 yo who moved here a year ago and still barely knows anyone.

[Eurobabe]

48. I met my 2nd husband at a pool

:rofl: I initiated a conversation only to find out he was German. (The cool thing about Europeans is they are alot less hung up about 'dating rules' than Americans.) I had been eyeballing him for a couple weeks before we formally spoke to one another. One late afternoon while I was studying at the pool, I got bold and asked him if he had visited downtown Philadelphia, he said no, so I offered to take him into the city that very night. We walked around South St. and Penns Landing, somewhere between dinner and blueberry water ice, I was smitten. :loveya: He took my hand to cross the street, it was over. :rofl:

For the record, he told me he loved me first, about 5 weeks later as he was preparing to fly back home. About 15 months later he sold everything and moved to the USA. We got married 5 years after that.

I think the reason I met him is because I was concentrating on myself, back in college, happy and self-sufficient. For the first time in my life I felt in control.

Good luck! FWIW, my best friend met her future husband (they marry in January) on match.com

:hi:

[harmonicon]

49. I have no fucking idea

I think you stay in bed all day and cry a little, and hope that the person you love will change their mind about leaving.

That's what I've been trying. I'll let you know how it works.

[MissMillie]

50. Um... there's a reason we're all single

we don't know how to meet people.

[KG]

51. www.plentyoffish.com

online is the way to go, and pof is the best free site going.

[Blue_Tires]

58. POF was a freakin' mess for me

YMMV

[Mutley]

53. Who knows?

The internet? :P

[applegrove]

56. Pursue your interests. What do you really like to talk about or do? What was your favourite sport

in high school. If you are into politics (and you are a member of the DU so you must be) join your local democratic organization and volunteer for anything they have going.

[MountainLaurel]

57. Book clubs?

Local peace or progressive organizations? I think there are some online singles groups for progressives out there.